sometimes i think of all the times when i was young when my dad would jab at me for being weird or being a nerd, i would know it was his way of relating it wasn’t anything mean. and then i’ll think of the times my mom would tell me i’d get too obsessed with my fandoms or i’d cry over fictional characters and she’d say i wasn’t normal...
sometimes i think back to all that and realize i am a 34 year old woman that will stop cleaning her house to cry about what a good fucking person steve rogers is... or how fucking hard my heart broke when tony stark lost his life... or how i wept through the whole entire movies of the first hobbit AND endgame AND rouge one because as a child i never thought i’d EVER live to see the things i read as loved as a child to be so excepted by the world at large. i never thought i’d see all of these things on the big screen and it’s overwhelming to me.
so i think of the fact that i am still a big huge sobbing nerd... and i am happier than i’ve even been in my adult life. i found a man who is just as geeky as i am who understands that watching and reading these things causes me to be overwhelmed with feelings. who sometimes cries with me. who carries me through this life when i need him to... and i live this completely normal adult life paying bills and eating dinner and doing all these normal things that i never thought i could have because i thought i was so strange because i was told how weird i was.