Haven’t been on here in a ridiculously long time. Need to have a bit of an anonymous vent and since my physical journal is too far away and my facebook is haunted by my mother in law spontaneously thought it might be here that I do it. I’m really struggling to stay positive and functional at the moment. I constantly feel like there is weight on my chest and its progressively getting heavier, which then feeds into this desperate need to run to escape the feeling of being pinned down and yet no energy to do so. It is a really defeating feeling. Trying to work on things that are good for my wellbeing like been trying to get back into yoga, keeping up hydration and eating better feels uplifting in those moments, then the moments past. Starting to wonder if living here is worth it. Worth the freedom i see at the end of the tunnel. I know this is all out of context and if you’re reading this it probably doesn’t make sense but as i said i needed an outlet and this was it. Though I feel a little lighter at least so that’s something. I can do this for at least a little longer.