Monkees Script Project - Find the Monkees (The Audition) part 1 of ??
Think, for a moment, about the opening scene of this episode. If you haven’t seen it for a while, go check it out. Just the first minute or so. I’ll wait.
Pretty impressive, huh? Micky’s panic reaction to the Four Martians’ arrival is one of the best Micky freakouts of the entire series. It’s a masterpiece of fearless, reckless, unrestrained abandon. And now… here’s the opening page of the script.
****
TEASER
FADE IN:
1. INT. BOY’S PAD – DAY
MICKY is asleep in a chair, his feet in the air. A fly buzzes his nose. He slaps it away. THE FOUR MARTIANS (a rock-and-roll group) dressed in their weird costumes and makeup enter from the porch. They encircle Micky and tickle his nose, buzzing like a fly. Micky awakens, sees the four grotesque figures, does a back flip.
MICKY
Yaaaaa! Martians! Martians! We’ve been invaded!
The other three MONKEES rush in.
MARTIAN #1
(to the boys)
Hi Fellas…
****
Whoa! What happened there? Micky fell over backwards from his chair, and that’s it? “Hi, fellas,” and on with the scene? Think about it. Somebody had to decide to expand that scene. Somebody had to decide that Micky would flip, fall, sprint, climb, and slide the length and breadth of the pad set. Somebody had to decide to scatter the other Monkees throughout the pad, to have Davy at the top of the stairs, Mike in the downstairs bedroom, and Peter… well, he’s on the other side of that mysterious door near the kitchen. (When he enters, he is carrying a single rose—did you notice?)
Anyway, we’re seeing the creative process in action. The scene as described in the script is quick, and functional. The only detail that’s present in the script that’s missing on the screen is the mischievous prank executed by the Martians, who are tickling Micky’s nose and making fly noises. (Though that may explain the odd, hunched posture of the leftmost Martian in that first shot—perhaps he was supposed to be tickling Micky’s nose, but the detail got lost.)
Note also that there is no description of the Martians, except to say that they have “weird costumes and makeup.” For what it’s worth, their shiny gold tabards do appear to have been borrowed from the Mozzarella Brothers in Monkees at the Circus, but as it turns out, Monkees at the Circus won’t be filmed for nearly 3 months. The red costumes underneath are much baggier than the Monkeemen costumes, so I’m guessing they were just some plain red sweatshirts and sweatpants. As for their bizarre makeup—they’re just wearing stockings over their heads. They look like bank robbers. Much faster, and cheaper, than putting weird alien makeup on four extras. And let’s not forget, the makeup artists had their hands full with one of the other bands….
****
MIKE
(helping Micky up)
It’s the Four Martians, man.
MICKY
(wiping away the sleep)
Oh! Hi guys. I must’ve been dreaming. What’s up?
MARTIAN #1
We need the loan of a B-string.
MIKE
Sure. I have a spare. You guys playing a gig?
MARTIAN #1
Better. We’re auditioning for Hubbell Benson.
DAVY
Hubbell Benson… the tv producer?
MARTIAN #1
He’s looking for a singing group to star in his new tv show. didn’t he mail you an invitation?
DAVY
Oh… sure…
Martian produces their engraved invitation.
MARTIAN #1
See you at the audition,. Thanks for the string. Later.
MIKE
Yea… later…
(feebly)
Good luck…
The Martians leave. Boys glance at each other.
****
Did you notice what was missing in that scene? I didn’t, not at first. But in the time it took me to type all that dialogue out, all the while wondering that there were four Martians but only one of them got a speaking part, it finally sank in that the script did not in any way describe the actual exchange of the requested guitar string. I actually liked the little specifics given to the transaction on the screen, such as the tin box on the bandstand where Mike keeps his spare strings.
****
MIKE
The mail!
The boys charge for door, fly through the days collection of unopened bills.
DAVY
Bills… bills… no invitation here.
PETER
How come the Four Martians got an invitation and we didn’t?
MIKE
Probably a very few invitations went out…
The kitchen door flies open, there stand four long-haired members of a r&r quartet – THE FOREIGN AGENTS. Their movements are furtive, hands deep in their trench coats.
MICKY
The Foreign Agents.
AGENT #1
(sotto voce)
Hi… men. Did you get your invitation?
Agent holds up his invitation, flips through the handful of bills Davy is still holding. Davy thrusts them behind himself. Meanwhile the other three Foreign Agents prowl about the room.
DAVY
Uh… no… our mail comes late on Monday.
PETER
Yeah. It comes around Thursday.
AGENT #1
(holds up invitation)
Well, we gotta split for rehearsal. This is our big chance.
Agent #1 makes a clicking sound to the other agents. The group exits out the front door. the door no sooner closes than the back door opens.
GIANT #1
Yo… Ho… Ho….
In file four very tall men with green tinted faces and long green hair. This is the JOLLY GREEN GIANTS, another r&r group.
****
The script calls for four guys with green faces and long green hair. What we got were three guys with gray faces (and arms) and green bathing caps. Cost cutting abounds! It makes sense to cut two of the quartets down to trios, as the sets will get very crowded later in the episode; I can’t imagine what the deal is with the gray makeup except maybe that their makeup artists couldn’t procure sufficient green makeup for three big guys. It’s a good thing that the actor playing Giant #1 did such a good job with his hearty, “Yo… Ho… Ho…!” because there’s very little else about the Jolly Green Giants that could be called jolly, or green, or giant. (And for what it’s worth, the iconic TV cartoon pitchman for canned and frozen vegetables always rendered his trademark “Ho-ho-ho!” in a very, very deep bass voice. )
One thing I notice about the Foreign Agents (besides the fact that there were only three of them in the episode) is that the script describes the Foreign Agents prowling around the room. In contrast to the opening scene, which was expanded from a simple Micky pratfall to a world class Micky freakout, this moment is condensed to a bit of random snooping by the Foreign Agents as they stood clustered in the same shot. Very economical
Note also, the script called for the Foreign Agents to burst through the kitchen door. They actually slipped furtively through the front door, the mysterious kitchen door having already been used for Peter’s entrance earlier in the episode. I refer to that door as “mysterious” because it leads to different places in different episodes: a closet (Don’t Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth, Monkees in the Ring); a bathroom (Monkee Chow Mein, The Chaperone) or the great outdoors (One Man Shy). I assume that the script’s instruction for the Jolly Green Giants arriving through the “back door” was also a reference to the kitchen door. James Frawley very cleverly mixed things up by having Davy come down the stairs, Mike enter through the bedroom door, Peter arrive by the kitchen door, the Martians exit through the patio door (presumably they entered the same way), the Agents use the front door and the Jolly Green Giants chat through the open kitchen window.
****
MIKE
Yo… ho… ho… What’s new, Jolly Green Giants?
GIANT #1
Hi Monkees. You know what we got in the mail?
MICKY
(glumly)
Don’t tell us…
GIANT #1
An autographed photo of Annette Funicello.
The Monkees are suddenly wreathed in smiles.
DAVY
We thought you meant an invitation to Benson’s audition.
GIANT #1
Oh, yeah.
(brings out invitation)
We got that too…
He waves it before the four boys. They tighten around and stare at it. FREEZE FRAME super storm cloud which drenches them.
****
Yikes! Where did that freak super storm cloud come from? They were drenched… inside the pad? Was this supposed to be a special effect? Was it supposed to be funny? Seems strange that, in a teaser scene that includes twelve extras, three of them with speaking parts, eight with massive amounts of makeup, the show’s Script and Story Editors (Caruso & Gardner, two of the three credited writers of this episode) would include a special effects shot. Thank goodness somebody thought better of it, and the scene ended with just a look of disgust from our heroes.
