Week 6 Reflection
Like many other aspects of society, social media plays a huge role with regards to “romantic” relationships. People of all ages participate in social media communication to build or enhance relationships. From as young as elementary and middle schoolers, these kids talk to known or unfamiliar people over social media networks such as Instagram. This past summer, I was a camp counselor for 5th-7th graders. As I scroll through my Instagram feed, it’s hard not to notice how their friends comment on their pictures “DM me <3,” with the connotation of a message of interest or emotion; DM, meaning direct message, is more private and intimate than a public conversation according to social media norms. As we get older, we tend to communicate in a more private way. However, older people, such as adults, use social media and internet sites to build strong, intimate relationships as well. My mom’s brother, Grant, found himself single in his 40’s wanting to find a life long relationship. He resulted in using a dating website to begin his search for the woman of his dreams. Now, Uncle Grant has been married to Aunt Janine for about 13 years. They are happily married and have a 12 year old daughter. In most cases, I would believe that social media cannot impact relationship beyond a simple friendship connection. However, I do believe that dating websites can help someone find true love. Just look at my Uncle Grant!
Since social media is essentially virtual, one can present themselves however they want over any social media platform. Looking at someone’s Instagram profile doesn’t even compare to meeting someone face-to-face in real life, or how people say over social media, “IRL.” As the article, The Social Media Effect: Are You Really Who You Portray Online?, states, “your ‘real self’ is what you are - your attributes, your characteristics, and your personality. Your ‘ideal self’ is what you feel you should be.” People presenting their ‘ideal self’ online may cause them to have an ego boost since they are displaying the identity they desire to be. We should be presenting our real selves over social media––the person people approach, look at, and speak to in a face-to-face interaction. Though this would be great, we as a society are driven by competition, “hence, the creation and portrayal of our ideal selves.” With regards to being in a relationship, especially a romantic one, partners must present their authentic selves in order to have a healthy, successful relationship. For instance, if a woman displays herself in an inaccurate way over an internet dating site, when finding a husband, he may think he’s getting to know her when he really is being deceived.
According to the Pew Research Center’s quiz, I am considered to have an average use of online dating activity. They classified me as one of the 11% of Americans who have used online dating. Since I was taking a quiz, I wanted to be as accurate as possible. I personally believe that what I have taken part in, is really legitimate online dating. Last year, my friend downloaded the app J-Swipe (essentially Tinder, but for Jewish people) on my phone and I kept it for about a week, then deleted it. For this quiz I mentioned that I used this app. The results of the quiz state that I understand that love is complicated and I am a bit skeptical about the whole online dating thing. I agree with this more or less.
With my experience using online dating, I chose to limit the amount of information I shared on my profile. It allowed me to select up to five pictures to share, and I believe I chose three to publically display. In order to use the app correctly, I shared my location and my age range: St. Louis, MO and 18-20. The J-Swipe profile was linked to my Facebook account too. All of that together was the extent of the information I shared. Since I wasn’t seriously using this app to find someone to date, I didn’t want to treat it like I was fully committed, willing to share my whole life to a person I’d swipe right for.
All in all, whatever you choose to put on the internet is your choice. However you choose to portray yourself on the internet is up to you. Personally, I aspire to my true self in person as well as online. When reading The Huffington Post article, I really enjoyed reading the advice written at the end. It basically gives the three golden rules on how to be yourself when using social media:“1. Stop comparing yourself to others...2. Authenticity is Key...3. Align your “Real” self with your ‘Ideal’ self.” If everyone who over uses photoshop to edit photos, shares false information to sound more appealing, and lacks confidence would follow these rules, their lives and portrayed personas on the internet will be greatly improved.