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Quick reminder that one time in the third grade someone thought that my mother was in the Chinese mafia and the entire school was scared to go near me except for one kid who was willing to pay me with a large bag of lollipops to get my mom to change his report card. He did it in a whole secretive drug dealer sort of way, too, it was pretty hilarious.
My only issue with being gay is that I don't fit any of the usual tropes that people use to depict sexuality. I probably look straight as fuck with my little princess mannerisms. Like, when I try to flirt with girls they aren't sure if I'm kidding or not. It's getting kinda frustrating.
Benefits of being my best friend: I'll give you a cute nickname and unlimited cuddle time.
I had a dog once. It was a Labrador. It ate the Christmas lights and shat them whole.
Me and a guy friend were just talking about random subjects, and then we apparently got on the subject of how the Christian bible says that sex can only be used for reproduction and not lust, and he said the cutest thing ever; ” When I get older and I get married Im going to want to make love to my wife without having to make babies. I mean, She’s going to be beautiful, of course Im going to think she’s beautiful because she’ll be my wife.”
There are two types of reactions to embarrassing yourself in front of people. There's the blushing, stuttering, absolutely adorable reaction that actually earns you some new friends. And then there's the falling on your face and trying to play it off but making it even worse for yourself and then your friends never want to take you anywhere ever again.
Growing up I didn't quite understand why my mom was so masculine and my dad was feminine. Years later, my mom turned out to be a butch lesbian and my dad was still straight but he was just extremely frou frou.
I spent 30 minutes today trying to open a pickle jar and when I finally got it open I started screaming " BITCHES" at the top of my lungs
TELL ME AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT YOURSELF AND I WILL REPLY WITH AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT MYSELF THAT I THINK OF WHEN I READ YOURS. IT MAY BE ENTIRELY RELATED, OR ONLY RELATED IN THE WEIRDEST, BROADEST DEFINITIONS.
Okay, first off, that's adorable x'D
And as long as we're going with the neighbor theme, I once had a Nerf gun fight with the the guy next door which lasted 4 hours.
