do you have any advice for finishing tasks? i have such a hard time following schedules and timers. i have planners and i look at them and think of how much i need to use them but i never do. i feel so worthless. i have such a disconnect from everything from my feelings to my surroundings. and working on tasks everyone thinks i'm lazy or stupid and i feel like they hate me.
Hey there! Thank you for the question. I’ve been procrastinating answering, because I’m not sure that I have any good advice. I struggle with this a lot myself.
I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time, and that you feel people judging you for struggling. That’s horrible, and you deserve so much better!
I can completely empathize with the disconnect from feelings and surroundings, I think a lot of us here can! It’s weird, being a spectator to everything, including yourself.
My advice for finishing tasks is very classic and it’s much easier said than done.
Step 1) Take that planner of yours and write down the tasks you need to do. Writing them down will get them out of your head, and allow your mind to relax just a little. It could look like this:LaundryHomeworkCookingTexting my friendsCleaning my roomDrawing little flowers and smileys on the paper to help you not get too anxious.
Step 2) Identify the first task you want to do. Let’s say you want to cook dinner.
Step 3) Make a new page with the task as a header. Under the header your try to write all the smaller tasks.Cooking:Look at what ingredient I haveDecide what to cookCook the meal (you might want to add more steps after you know what you’re making)Set the table4) Go through the list. When you’ve done an item, you use one of them nice higligterpens to strike it out, or whatever you’ve got. Draw a smiley/star after each task.
5) If one task takes a long while, you can do it in 15-min intervals with 10 minute breaks. Set alarms.
6) When you’re done you count the smileys/stars and then you can use them to reward yourself. Work out a system. F.ex. “Once I collect 10 stars I can eat a donut” or “once I’ve collected 20 stars I can have the rest of the day off” etc. Find a system that works for you. Maybe stars are worth more than smileys? Etc. Or you can have a number system where you rate the task after difficulty.
In other words: Break the task into smaller parts, and find ways to reward yourself.If you have someone in your network who can help you sit down and make the list, that might be nice.
Telling people you plan to do something is another thing that often motivates us to actually do it.I have no idea if this was helpful, or way too elaborate and behavioristic. Please just take the parts that you like!
-Kit
