Feb 9, 2021
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Have you even found the time to properly plan how you’re going to accidentally destroy your home this year?
The following methods have been observed firsthand and come to you 100% proven effective.
1) Putting the Turkey In the Oven and Falling Asleep/Passing Out Drunk
This one is actually more likely to just create a ridiculous amount of smoke than actually take out the entire house. And yet...
There are a few layers of sad to this particular scenario. First there’s the fact that you generally start making Thanksgiving dinner in the morning, so being drunk enough to sleep through a smoke alarm that early in the day probably doesn’t say a lot of good things about your life choices. But more than that — for this scenario to play out you’d have to be there alone. That’s just shaping up to be the saddest Thanksgiving ever...even before the housefire.
2) Turning on the Oven and Forgetting that You’re Using it as Storage Space
We’ve all been there — small kitchen, not nearly enough cabinet space. It’s a problem. That said, maybe storing a lot of flammable items inside a box that’s specifically designed to create lots and lots of heat...not your best option.
(Continue Reading: 5 Ways to Burn Down Your House This Thanksgiving)
They are used to dealing with crazy people and in the world of the walking dead the crazies are the only ones left.
Well, it’s that time of year again when the leaves turn colors and we prepare for Halloween.
Pumpkins are carved with spooky faces and placed on our porches as we toss piles of candy at children in a country leading the pack in childhood obesity. Have another Milky Way, Timmy! This is also when the new season of The Walking Dead comes on, so let’s take the time in the spirit of Halloween to figure out what trade is most needed in a zombie apocalypse.
Now military people, you are not included because you obviously have the biggest role if this was to happen. The military skill set is perfect for a zombie world — nothing but head shots and high fives. But as for the rest of us, here’s how we rank…
(Continue Reading: Which First Responder is Most Needed During a Zombie Apocalypse?)
Wait...WHAT?