Not me wanting to write the reversal of what I see happening all over a03.
Not me having the idea that, on a drunken whim, Eddie kissed Buck one night on a dare. And Evan having a response to it. And feeling his heart stomped all over because for Eddie, it was a dare. And for Evan, it unlocked something. And just being sad, because it was never going to happen.
Until, sometime later, he stumbles right into Tommy. And here is this man who sees him, and is falling for him, and when he kisses him the first time, Evan can’t even remember what he was upset about, because this man he’s falling for, this kiss, this moment…is reciprocated. And it feels just a little bit like he’s never done it before. Except when he falls in love this time, someone else is falling back. Giving him the safety, security, comfort of being loved.
And because of all that, he can’t fathom ever having loved anyone else before. Because no one else has loved him the way Tommy does, and he loves Tommy in a way no one else has.
(eta: wrong blog; this is kinardsevan)