I think nobody in this community acknowledges some ARE groomed into this community, and thats because this community does not post about safety, risk awareness, what consent REALLY is (being fully aware of what is happening, being able to say no after saying yes, having safe words, ect), nor educational pieces on safety half enough - making it very easy for manipulators to thrive in this community
Which does not make this community nor its ideals inherently evil like antis say, nor does it inherently mean every aspect should be thrown out the window, thats the exact same as anti-kink anti-bdsm mentality honestly
It's simply that its very easy to lead an uneducated person, or even an educated person who feels trapped into this community, giving them a hundred labels that makes them feel tied to their abuser, and then labelling the relationship as con-abuse
cause nobody seriously dives into the risks of con-abuse, how such a relationship should have breaks and aftercare, outside of anti-rhetoric
I'm talking from experience, It happened to my system, and we are, on a labels and identities level, entangled with our abuser, and still spiral into "well originally i consented, even if I said no later and tried to set up boundaries, maybe he just thought it was all part of the game"
And I am not the only one!!! I've talked to other!!! People in the radqueer space who admit they wouldn't be here without their abusers!!! When people say they were groomed into it, it is NOT just anti rhetoric, theres more substance in these claims
We need awareness, pdfs filled with safety tips, when to take breaks, how to abuse someone safely, how you can hurt someone safely, I want a world where the first thing you see after looking up conabuse is "here's a article on how to do such safely" "heres a class on how to do such safely" "heres a book on the ethics and how to do such safely"
I want a world where we acknowledge the grooming, how identities can be manipulated, twisted, this isn't just a radqueer issue, my otherkin identities were twisted too, so intertwined with theirs it felt like even if I escaped they'd still be who I am.
I just want more safety highkey
