ADRENALINE SETTLES ALONGSIDE ANGUISH. AN INQUIRY INTO THE HUMAN SOUL. HIS CHEST CAVITY BURGEONING WITH BLOOD, AND BILE, AND BITTERNESS. TRAUMA AFFIXED TO HIS RIBS. VERTEBRAE BECOME A LADDER ; THEIR RUNGS A HOST TO ALL THE LAMENTATION FESTERING BETWEEN THE PLATES. how do two desperate people find each other ? intensely. unwaveringly. celestial bodies colliding mid flight. wildfire at the edge of gravity. like this: together but disjointed — still trying to make sense of it. of whatever this is and of themselves. haven't yet figured out how to map the course of their reality as well as they have each other's mouths. BUT HE'S TRYING, AND HE HOPES THAT THAT'S ENOUGH. THAT IT WILL SOMEHOW MAKE UP FOR ALL THE MEMORY AND CHAOS THAT BREEDS BENEATH HIS SKIN. HIS IRREPARABLE HEART. ( ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴀs ɪ ʜᴀɴɢ ᴏɴ ʙʏ sᴛʀɪɴɢs. ɢᴜᴛ ᴀs ʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴀs ᴛᴡɪɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀs ғᴇᴇʙʟᴇ. ғʀᴀʏᴇᴅ﹐ ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴀɢɪʟᴇ﹐ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏʀɢᴀɴs ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴘɪʟʟ ғʀᴏᴍ ʜɪs sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ) he settles deeper into the couch, thinking. ruminating. death in his mouth. graveyard dirt stymieing his marrow. skeleton sinking into the mud. I THINK SOMEONE ELSE CAME OUT. wonders if he was really afraid, then: when he had a joystick under his hands and the nose of a plane pointed towards the water, and the cold, and the bleak emptiness that should have stayed in his soul. wonders if he had any fear left to give. ( ʏᴇs — ʟᴏsɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ) " all the time, " there's a smile that tries to soften the blow of his words. 𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚍 ! but s.teve r.ogers ? blacktop grit under his nails and scrapes on his knees ? he'd known fear from an early age ; but once you start running, they'll never let you stop. " i think that's why we fight … the fear of what could happen if we don't. "