#tw death
Yesterday, I learned my good friend Carole has passed away.
She was known to the fandom as Firesign10. She was a gifted writer and if you haven’t read her fics, you’ve been missing out on something special. You can find her works here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firesign10/pseuds/firesign10
She was also a published writer, writing under the name Ellis Colton. She had published three books before her untimely passing. I highly recommend them. I was honored to be among the people she thanked in her first book Prescription for Love.
When I first joined the Supernatural fandom, I found and loved her fics. When I found her on twitter, I was excited to follow her. I was shocked when she followed me back. I was even further shocked when she began interacting with me, encouraging my fledging writing of fics. Eventuallly, she became my go-to beta, always encouraging, always helpful, pushing me to go deeper and take the time to explore the depths of what the characters were feeling. I will miss her guidance and my work will be less because of her absence.
But far more importantly, she became my friend. Over dm’s, group chats, zooms, and messenger we shared laughs and told stories. I went the three Supernatural conventions, at each one she took me under her wing, let me into her circle, showed me care and made me laugh until tears were streaming. She was fun, quick witted, highly intelligent, had a wicked sense of humor, loved fiercely, and was always a light.
I will miss her terribly. The fandom has a hole in it that will never be filled. I will never again talk to her, never again get a fic back with a hundred notes and a ‘I loved it bb’ note, never again see her shiny happy beautiful face.
This is a reminder that tomorrow isn’t promised, to hold your friends and loved ones tight, and never think ‘oh I will message them tomorrow’. I literally did that at the end of last week, though ‘oh I know she has a lot going on, I will wait a few days to check in’ I will regret that for the rest of my life. Write the message. Make the phone call.
Sleep well, Carole. I will miss you always.
