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Strugglin'
Its 10:30 am and I have already ate half of my lunch (plus my morning snack) and I'm still hungry as hell. I'm trying my best to save what's left of it until lunch but Lord, I'm hungry!! I'm really trying hard to stay on track but my appetite though! *cries thug tears*
Thoughts...
I’m learning to not be overly obsessed with this health journey, yes I want to be aware of how I’m treating my body, being aware of my eating and making sure that I exercise to keep healthy but I have an addictive personality and if I find anything interesting my mind goes into obsession mode and I think about it MORE than I should. But the past week has showed me how just letting go a little is helpful. I have been so busy with school in the past week, preparing for finals that I haven’t really had time to think about my health goals and things of that nature that I’ve just been doing what I know works (eating right and working out) and just leaving it at that and its been so liberating. It is even starting to feel like a lifestyle,. I don’t have to think much about it I just know that it is part of my daily routine and it is just how I live my life. I liked that. I like how I was flowing without obsessing and that is where I want to be with this healthy lifestyle. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be about losing weight or gaining muscle or some other goal, but just about being healthy. That simple.
L I F E U P D A T E
So much has been going on right now that my normal life routine has been disrupted. Between school, family & church commitments and just life in general, its sad to say that my health and fitness goals have been compromised. I’m trying to get back in the hang of things but this week is going to be another busy week that is going to throw my life rhythm slightly off. I honestly have been feeling so down about my progress, today. I don’t have any motivation in me as I write this post. I know I made a commitment to get healthy and in shape and commitment has nothing to do with my feelings, but right now I am not an inch excited about working on myself compared to the way that I have been in the past few weeks. You can say that I’m in a bit of a slump but I keep convincing myself that it’s okay to be down for today as long as I don’t stay there and give in. I’m a very positive and optimistic person in general but today I’m just not feeling it.
G O A L S
Look good naked! This is it right now. I want to be able to look back at my reflection and be proud of what I see. What reflects back to me is a reflection of my hard work. If I'm working hard enough the results will show. I'm tired of being ashamed, this is something that I can work on so I'm going to do just that, weeeeerk! Me wanting to look good without clothes on is not vanity. My body can be better. I believe the condition of my body reflects my level of self love. If it is well taken care of and maintained, it means I value my body enough to treat it like the temple it is - with love, tenderness, appreciation and kindness. My body is not a trash bin where everything is thrown in. It is a temple, valuable and sacred and it deserves to be kept up and cared for. #OperationLookGoodNaked
Confession Time...
So I have been a bad girl 🙈 I have not been eating as well as I SHOULD be and this has been happening for about 2-3 days. And yesterday was just…TERRIBLE.
Now I actually truly appreciate the importance of meal planning and prepping. I didn’t do that going into this week and I didn’t carry any lunch with me to campus yesterday and I knew I was going to spend the entire day in lectures and studying at the library. And then I got hungry *surprise, surprise* 😡 I went to buy something and honestly there aren’t a lot of healthy options on campus BUT I CHOSE to go for the unhealthy option, because really im irrational when i am hungry 😱 Then immediately after having lunch, I felt SICK and TIRED. I literally felt weighed down. I couldn’t concentrate for a while and I had to take a nap. How crazy is that?
The moral of the story is that I am seeing how detrimental unhealthy food is to my body, I mean there is nothing wrong with treating one self BUT I don’t quite understand the concept of moderation because I always go overboard. I do however see the difference in my vitality when I eat healthy versus when I eat absolute junk. My tummy ALWAYS retaliates 😡 To the point that I actually miss my broccoli and my sweet potatoes. I LOVE how energetic and lively I feel when I’m eating right and that is how I want to feel everyday. The consequences of eating crap are just too dire.
So I’m back to eating healthy, I’m still trying to work around how I incorporate treats without completely falling off and hating myself afterwards. Right now I’m thinking of introducing a cheat meal every 7-10 days or so of eating healthy. Alternating between those number of days.
This is really trial and error for me, I’m trying to make this a permanent lifestyle change and its going to take a while to reverse my really unhealthy habits that I have developed throughout the years. But I guess there is no end goal to a healthy lifestyle, its a life long journey. But hopefully I can find some balance. ✌
21 Day Clean Eating Challenge Update
I made it through 21 days of clean eating! 🙌
This is kind of a big deal to me because I had tried this challenge countless times before, but I would usually give in by the second week or so and I just never had the discipline to stick with it til the end. So being able to say I made it till the end is major and I’m truly happy to have stuck it out.
The first week was quite good, dare I say it was a breeze. I was just pumped up to prove to myself and prove that I am capable of sticking it through and so i just kept the main thing the main and continued to eat clean with the end goal in mind
The second week was where I had my first big craving, yet I was able to overcome it. That is also the week that I struggled with my portions here and there, I was eating healthy but eating big portions and I needed to start adjusting them - this was and is still somewhat of a challenge, but I’m working on it.
The last week was rather challenging because of the fact that I had never made it that far before, unconsciously I was ready to give up and I was making excuses like “You have been eating well for two weeks, you can reward yourself with something, its no big deal.” I literally had to fight this thought the whole entire week.
For me this wasn’t just about eating healthy but it was about practising discipline and self control. Learning to say “no” and training my body to listen to me instead of it bossing me around. It was about realizing the importance of not giving up. Keeping my word - I said I was going to eat clean consecutively for three weeks not two, so I had to keep going regardless of how I felt, sticking to the original plan at all costs. I conquered myself. And it feels so good!
Although I didn’t lose any weight this past week, I was able to lose 5kg in three weeks and I’m hella proud.
These are small victories that I celebrate on my way to the big victory. The journey to good health is truly rewarding. I am stronger and healthier than I was three weeks ago and that is super motivating. I’m going to keep going, because health is wealth!
#IAmStrong
SPRING IS EXACTLY 29 DAYS AWAY
Woooooah! I’m really pumped! Lol I absolutely ❤ spring it is my favorite season (though I am a summer baby) and I want to look good when I get rid of the winter layers 😂
I have never been comfortable wearing short shorts (NOT BUM SHORTS - I don’t play like that) because of my celullite so I have never really worn them, short skirts as well. So while I work on my bikini body (it is going to take longer lol!) It would be cool to be able to wear some shorts and FEEL comfortable in them. I’m not asking for miracles but I would like to see how far I could get. I can do it right? Right!
Im going to have random countdowns all through August, just to get me super pumped! Let the countdown begin! 😁
S T R U G G L I N G
Today was not a good day at all. I think it was the most challenging one since starting my clean eating challenge, I guess I was having one of those “screw everything” type of days and it infiltrated to my eating as well. I didn’t necessarily eat unhealthy, I just ate ALOT. My portions were out of control - its something that I do struggle with in general, but have been doing well in managing, but today I lost the battle. I basically failed at life today and that included my eating.
My mood has a huge impact on my attitude towards food- emotional eater alert! I’m still learning to manage everything and not use food as a crutch for dealing with life - easier said than done. And today it was a fail. It doesn’t help that tomorrow is my WEIGH IN day. Welp
Shuu! Now that I have that off my chest I can go to sleep. THE BRIGHT SIDE : Tomorrow is another day to get it right ✌
