#fitzyandsimms

[patheticwhimsy]

i'm sure you hear this twenty times a day but i love your fem!data so much, it actually encouraged me to finally get around to watching next gen. seriously, whenever you post photos or gifs it just makes me really happy! thank you for that :)

i could hear it 20 THOUSAND times a day and it will never get old so thank you so much!!! i’m so glad because tng is so good and data is just <33333 thank YOU for being so kind!!!!

[agent-85]

fitzyandsimms

reblogged your post

“Imzadi”

#perfect #amazing #i love this so much i just want a whole show based off of this #yes give me more half-betazoid!simmons #just so cute and perfect and i need more #the writing is just asdfghjkl #and the characterizations were spot on #petition to give simmons psychic powers on the show and maybe make her part asgardian #and she can sense emotions and this exact thing happens #like seriously this is perfect

Um, thank you so much for your tags! I may be blushing!

[agentverbivore]

fitzyandsimms reblogged your photo and added:

amazing. this is better than i could have even hoped. like VULCAN JEMMA is not even a thing I knew I needed, but I cannot stop thinking about this and everyone should read this. just do it. you don’t even have to be really familiar with star trek, it’s insanely good and worth the time. unbelievably talented verbivore strikes again! xx

#actually my favorite fanfic for fitzsimmons i think#actually i know#so just#...go#like seriously you will not regret

ahh yay, I’m so glad you liked it!! I had SO much fun writing it, haha, thank you for sending in the prompt!

[agentverbivore]

congrats on your followers! that amount is RIDICULOUS! but, anyways, i'm suggesting a aos/fitzsimmons star trek fic. because of reasons. so, have a nice day! :)

thank you so much for sending in this prompt! you can find the fic here. :-)

[bumblegremlin]

Plan B

Hi, fitzyandsimms! I'm your Fitzsimmons secret valentine! Here's your fic! I hope you love it, sugar!

Prompt: Fitz and Simmons being absolutely adorable together on either their first valentine's day together

"Can I open my eyes now?" Jemma asked playfully, allowing her boyfriend to lead her by the hands to whatever surprise he had planned for her. She'd let him guide her down countless hallways, and now she was filled with anticipation. There weren't many pleasant surprises on this base, so she looked forward to what little things she could.

"No!" he cried. "Keep 'em shut!"

"Alright, alright..." she muttered. Jemma switched directions when she felt him tug her arms. How many turns had they taken? She swore, if they turned out to just be in the garage when she opened her eyes, and Fitz has just taken her on a detour to throw her off, she would give a fit.

She could feel Fitz slow his steps. "There," he concluded. "Open your eyes."

Jemma grinned, and slowly opened her eyes to see what he did. When she was able to take in the sight, she couldn't help but let out a small gasp.

She was standing in a room that looked like a spare garage, and in front of her was a giant circuit board, covered in wires and different colored LED lights, mapping out some words that she couldn't decipher when they weren't turned on. Due to what day it was, she had a pretty good idea, but she still wanted to know what the sign said. If her hypothesis was correct, she wanted to see it even more.

"What does it say?" she asked, slightly breathless, turning around to face her favorite engineer.

Fitz rocked on his heels, grinning from ear to ear. "I'll show you." He dashed over to a control panel on the other side of the room.

The grin didn't leave his face as he held a large lever in place, staring at Jemma knowingly. "Three... Two... One..."

At the last beat he threw down the control lever, turning on the board. Jemma's smile only got bigger when each of the little lights sparked on in a dance of mechanical brilliance, each one coming on one by one, so quickly that it gave her vertigo.

In big bright letters, the sign flashed "I LOVE YOU JEMMA SIMMONS".

She hurried to where he stood, barely giving him time to prepare before jumping towards him in a fashion resembling a tackle. He caught her, holding her close to him, arms wrapped around her back.

"Do you like it?" he asked sheepishly.

"Yes!" she responded enthusiastically, not telling him that she'd been wanting to hear those words spoken - or written, for a very long time. "Even though it's so cheesy."

"Every rose has its thorn."

Jemma laughed. "You did not just reference that song. Of all of them." She shifted in his hold so that she was mere inches away from his face. "Remind me again why I love you so much?" she breathed.

He opened his mouth to respond, probably to say something like 'because I'm lovable', but before he could answer she slotted her lips against his in one swift motion.

Fitz took a step back at her force, so that he was against the wall. Her hands gripped his hair and she kissed him with a passion that she would usually blush just thinking about. But this was Valentine's day, and that caused for celebration.

It wasn't as if she hadn't had a date on Valentine's Day. There had been multiple times at the Academy, or even her adult life that she'd gone out for the festivities with a romantic partner, but this time was different.

This year, it meant something more. She'd had boyfriends, but she'd never loved a guy as much as she loved Fitz. She knew that she was attractive, it was a fact, but no one made her feel as beautiful as she did when she was with her best friend. It had taken her years to figure out that what she felt for the man standing in front of her was more than platonic. So, yes. Considering that this was their first Valentine's day as a couple, it meant something more. Jemma Simmons was not going to be deterred from snogging her boyfriend against a wall, thank you very much.

He lifted a hand to cup her cheek, using it as support to deepen the kiss, and she hummed contentedly. She had no intention of stopping before inevitably needing air, so they stayed like that for who knows how long. Had Skye seen them, she would have had a field day. But, Jemma didn't like thinking about her nosy friend while her hands roamed Fitz's upper body.

Eventually, they broke away, gasping like fish out of water. Jemma panted for a good minute, waiting until she regained her breath before speaking.

"How much energy does it use? It looks kind of big," she commented, sliding her fingers along the collar of his shirt.

"Well... I didn't get permission to use a self-sustaining power source, so the sign is currently running on the base's power lines," he answered guiltily, as if he'd done something wrong.

"What if it blows a fuse?!" she exclaimed, not wanting to be responsible for a nationwide power outage if her special surprise caused problems.

"I'd rather not think about that," Fitz admitted. "But I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Fitz..." she said, letting her words trail off meaningfully.

He looked at her intently, making her heart flutter against her will, and her resolve melt away. "Alright... Alright, if you say that it'll be fine."

He grinned and took her hands in his own. "Okay, so what do you want to do? We can't leave the base, Coulson is already gone off with May and Skye. I think they're infiltrating a bachelor's party to get intel. Mack is taking the night off to sleep... Said something about how he's taking advantage of the few extra hours he can get."

"Bobbi and Hunter?" Jemma asked. She was really into the idea of having the base (mostly) to themselves. To have no interruptions... heaven.

Fitz rubbed the back of his neck. "Hunter was in the lounge last time I saw him. I'm pretty sure he's just complaining to Trip about his horrible experiences with Bobbi. Who is getting drunk, I think. I caught her stealing Skye's cherry vodka."

Jemma made a face. "How do they even drink that stuff?"

Fitz shrugged. Every time Skye drank, it would be some new, miscellaneous flavor of liquor. So far, Jemma had counted blueberry, cherry, cotton candy, apple twist, lemon, and some strange liquid that looked like a galaxy in a bottle. Was wine not good enough for her?

"Let's not think about them right now," Fitz commented. He pulled her closer - very close, and if Jemma wasn't so in tune with the human body and its abilities, she would have sworn that she swallowed her tongue. "Tonight's about you and me," he affirmed.

Jemma was seconds away from kissing him senseless when his darkened eyes lit up in a boyish grin, and he removed his hands from around her waist -much to her discontent, to hold both her hands.

"Plus, I've got the entire evening planned out!" he exclaimed, melting her frustration about his teasing away.

"Do you now?" she laughed.

"Yes! We will start with the best episodes of Doctor Who, then we will watch the cheesiest romcoms that we can find, and make fun of them. It's very important that we avoid Hunter and Bobbi, because they are single, sad, and drunk. Dinner will be at eight, and what we do after that... is up to you."

Jemma liked this plan.

Fitz opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by a large crash coming from the hallway.

"What on earth?" Fitz wondered aloud before his question was answered by a certain Lance Hunter swinging himself around the corner.

The man was obviously drunk, Jemma could tell by the way he sloppily leaned against the doorframe. Hunter only seemed mildly concerned about whatever he had just broken.

"That vase wasn't important was it?" he slurred, lifting a hand to vaguely gesture towards the direction he'd come from. He quickly lost whatever interest he'd just had when he saw the bright sign behind the two scientists.

He walked over (if you could call it walking, he looked like he'd just been turned around in a circle twenty times) and clapped Fitz on the back. "So we've got a lover boy here, huh? I once got Bobbi a gift for valentine's day. She threw it at me. Apparently a picture of her face cut out onto the body of a celebrity is not sufficient."

Jemma glanced over at Fitz, who looked just as baffled as she felt. She'd seen what bodily harm Bobbi could inflict when angered. How was Hunter still alive? And how was it possible to be such a bad husband? He really set the bar.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

He raised his hands up in defense. "She said she wanted to go to the Caribbean! That was setting of the picture!"

Fitzsimmons facepalmed simultaneously. At least he tried.

Hunter looked around the room and his eyes caught on the control panel on the wall behind them. Marching over to it, he asked, "Does it go any brighter?"

Fitz, sensing that nothing good could come from this, winced when Lance placed a hand on the lever, and answered reluctantly, "Probably... The - the power source is capable of enhancing the light of the bulbs. But, I wouldn't do that!"

Hunter smirked and with a mischievous glance that Jemma knew was not entirely from the alcohol he'd consumed in his eyes, he threw down the lever.

The sign, which was already quite bright, grew brighter. The light coming from each bulb multiplied by ten. Jemma looked away, Fitz shaded his eyes with his hand, and Hunter guffawed a Viking laugh that Jemma hoped she would never hear again in her lifetime.

Finally, it seemed to stop. After several seconds, Jemma risked a glance over. She wished she didn't.

"Fitz, is it supposed to spark?"

"What?! No!" he exclaimed.

The sign had little jets of light shooting out of it sporadically and a few of the bulbs blinked in and out of life. That couldn't be good.

"No, no, no!" Fitz yelled frantically, shoving Hunter out of the way so that he could look over the control panel and fix it. He fumbled with a few dials, but it was too late. The billboard shut off - along with the rest of the power.

Suddenly they were in complete darkness.

"Hunter, what did you do?!" Jemma cried. The mercenary chose to stay silent.

She heard the clanking of someone sifting through a box of tools, before Fitz clicked a flashlight to life, illuminating his face. Jemma got deja vu of their little incident with a certain dimension jumping psychopath all that time ago. Fitz ran out of the room into the hallway and a few seconds later he ran back in, gesturing back to that direction.

"Power's out," he confirmed. "Look's like the entire base went dark."

Jemma barely restrained herself from glaring at Hunter, who was taking advantage of the lack of light, and was sinking into the shadows. "How long until it's back?" she asked.

"The circuit's fried, but the systems will reboot. The good news is Coulson won't have to know, it'll be up and running before he's back."

Jemma hesitated, catching his implication that there was more, less pleasant news to follow. "What's the bad news?"

"Well... It looks like we'll be out of power for the rest of the night. Sorry, Jem."

She sighed. It seems like their plan was out the window. "It's alright, Fitz. I don't blame you." She articulated that last word with a pointed look at Hunter.

"Well, that's my cue to leave," Hunter said without a hint of remorse. "Have fun, you two." He grabbed both scientists by the shoulders and squished them together until their faces were smooshed against one another. He then darted out of the room, apparently not caring that it was pitch dark and he didn't have a flashlight.

Jemma felt no sympathy when she heard multiple crashes coming from the direction in which he'd just ran.

Fitz turned to her, and in the dim light of the sole flashlight, she could see his anxious expression. "So... what do you want to do now? It seems that our original plans mainly involved electricity."

She smiled the best that she could. Valentine's day wasn't ruined yet, and she wasn't letting a drunk and bitter colleague causing trouble bring her down. "You," she began, tapping his chest. "Can go get me a flashlight. I'm going to turn on the emergency generator and lights, and then we'll figure this out together."

A small smile returned to Fitz's face. "Sounds like a plan."

***

That was how Jemma ended up, in the dark, wandering around to look for the emergency lights generator. That morning, she’d woken up in a bed, with the man she was in love with’s arms around her. She remembered what she had thought in the blissful moment when her eyes opened. “This day will be great.” Was it too much to ask that her first Valentine’s day with Fitz go smoothly, with power, and worth remembering for a good reason?

She took another look at the blueprints Fitz had given her, in the dim blue-tinted light her flashlight provided. Around this corner, and to the left. Jemma quickly walked over to the door that the generator laid behind. She smiled when she (manually, since the keypads were shot) opened it, setting eyes on the large machine.

The generator made a very satisfying hum when she switched it on, and all the small tinted emergency lights flickered to life. It was still very dim, but far better than a flashlight, that was for sure.

Now all Jemma had to do was find Fitz, who had stayed behind to see if he could quicken the recovery of the power system, and then her day would be back on track.

***

Fitz finished tapping a few things into his tablet, and groaned at the results. Any measure he could take to advance the system's progress would be too much of a hassle to be worth it. The closest time that the power could come back on was in about twelve hours. He checked his watch (Jemma had told him that it would be useless to buy one that glowed in the dark, but look who was prepared now?) and it informed him that it was 7:25.

At least I'll have power at 2:00 in the morning, he thought sarcastically.

When Fitz found Hunter (who was probably taking advantage of the numerous dark corners all over the base with Bobbi) the next day, he would have hell to pay.

He looked over at a supply cupboard, in hopes of finding extra blankets, just in case the temperature control inside the base was affected by the lack of power and wouldn't come on later when Jemma activated the generator. As he began to sift through the contents of the cupboard, the emergency lights switched on above him. Fitz smiled at the thought of his girlfriend (which was already a great thought on its own) wandering around the base in the dark, before finally finding the emergency power. His smile grew wider when he did in fact find blankets in with the supplies, amongst other things that set off a brilliant idea in his head.

Fitz pulled out his phone. It was now 7:30, which gave him half an hour to pull together what he was planning. He quickly sent a text to Jemma saying, "meet me in the lounge at 8".

A few seconds later, a reply showed up on his screen. "Alright," she'd responded. Perfect.

So Fitz got to work.

***

Jemma looked at her watch once again. It was now 7:58 pm. She'd just spent the last twenty minutes trying to find her way back around the base and telling Trip what had just happened. Their conversation was basically made up of Jemma explaining the ordeal (she'd tried and failed to keep the annoyance out of her voice), Trip apologizing because he hadn't managed to cut Hunter off of the alcohol and had lost track of him, and him just saying he was going to go to bed, in a defeated tone.

She stopped at the door of the lounge, noticing that all the blinds had been closed to cover the windows. Whatever Fitz had planned was obviously meant to be a surprise. As her hand hovered over the doorknob for a moment, all the possibilities of what could be in that room raced in her mind.

I swear to god, if it's a monkey.... she thought to herself as she opened the door.

For the second time that day, Jemma couldn't help but gasp at the surprise Fitz had made for her. This was much better than a monkey.

The room was lit up by dozens of candles, placed on different surfaces all around the area. Blankets were placed on the couch, making it look like the comfiest sofa she'd ever laid eyes on. She scanned the room, and she was definitely sure that the best part of it was Fitz, sitting on a cushion on the floor beside the coffee table, grinning at her.

"Happy Valentine's day, Jem," he greeted, getting up to stand closer to her.

"Fitz, did you do this just now?" she asked, voice shaky.

He looked down sheepishly, before his eyes came back up to stare at her like she was the moon. "Yeah... Well, I wasn't going to let Hunter ruin our Valentine's day because he was on a drunk rampage so-"

She cut him off, grabbing his tie and using it to pull him against her. Jemma leaned into his touch when he balanced himself and cupped her face with his hands. She sighed against his lips as she kissed him.

After a few moments, she pulled away - knowing that she was blushing, but not caring.

"So..." she questioned. "What's in the containers?"

Fitz smiled, dropping a quick kiss to her cheek before answering. "That..." he responded, taking a blanket that was draped over a chair, and wrapping it around her shoulders like a cloak. "Would be dinner."

He guided Jemma over to the coffee table and patted one of the cushions, gesturing for her to sit. She plopped down happily as he sat down at the other side.

"I'm sorry that it's not fancy," he apologized. "I was going to cook something proper, but the oven needs electricity, which we're, um, limited to right now."

Jemma held up a finger to stop him from going any further with his apologies. "It doesn't matter, Fitz. I love it. What's on the menu?"

Fitz cleared his throat with mock professionalism. "Well, here, we have fish fingers," he said, gesturing to one of the containers. "Cooked over the very best mini oven, courtesy of Skye. And here, we have the very best chocolate chip cookies that the pantry has to offer."

"Yum," Jemma laughed.

"But don't forget," Fitz continued. "The most delicious apple slices ever."

"Anything to drink?"

"Why, of course, love. I have here, the only wine in the entire liquor cupboard that isn't something Skye or Bobbi bought. So, in comparison it must be wonderful."

"Looking forward to it," she smiled. Jemma was about to lean over the table to kiss him, before taking into account the candle situated between them that would probably burn a hole in her shirt if she tried. So she settled for another way to show her affection.

"Thank you, Fitz," she said sincerely. Jemma tried to blink away the tears of happiness that formed in her eyes, hoping that he wouldn't notice them in the dim lighting, and simultaneously loving him enough to not care if he saw her while she was emotional.

Fitz smiled in response, looking at her tenderly. "Bon appétit," he said, and they clinked their glasses together.

So, that was how they spent their Valentine's day. It wasn't how they planned, but it worked out better than anything she could have hoped for. They ate their improvised meal of fish sticks, apple slices and cookies, drank their wine, and laughed about everything they'd come across recently. Jemma knew that when she looked back at all the best nights she'd had during her life, this was going to be one of them.

Later on in the evening, they were cuddled together on the couch, covered in blankets and wrapped in each other's arms. As she felt sleep drift into her near future, Jemma told her boyfriend three words that she'd never meant more than she did now.

"I love you, Fitz," she murmured against his chest. After the words were out, she wondered if he'd fallen asleep, but moments later he responded.

"I love you too, Jemma."

Then they both fell asleep with quiet smiles on their faces.

Bonus:

"So, what did you get up to yesterday?" Coulson asked, as he unpacked the equipment from his, May, and Skye's (successful) mission, completely unaware that they'd had such an incident with the power the night before.

Mack stood happily, and apparently well rested, in line with the other agents. Fitz had told him the events of last night during breakfast, and the man had laughed so loud that he could’ve shaken the entire base. "I got some sleep."

Jemma saw Lance (who she'd ever so graciously pretended she hadn't seen coming out of his bunk earlier that morning with a disheveled Bobbi in tow) glance nervously at her, and she couldn't help but see Trip and Fitz look at her with the same smirk she believed she must've had on her face.

"Nothing much," the three of them said in unison. Jemma could almost hear the sound of impending blackmail in their voices. She wasn't going to pretend that it wasn't in her own either.

Valentine's day wasn't so bad after all.

[engineeringbiochem]

happy anniversary! what was your first url? xx

well for this blog the url has always been the same, but first overall was dpesanator, which is a nickname of mine

url: 10/10

icon: 9/10

theme: 9/10

comment: Simmons covered by flowers!

compliment: You seem like someone who is so intent on learning almost everything and being really knowledgeable. Also, I suggest reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay

[forfitzsimmons-blog]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[forfitzsimmons-blog]

Fitzsimmons Secret Santa: 4 Times Fitz Made Tea and 1 Time Simmons Did

This is for fitzyandsimms for the fitzsimmons secret santa! It’ll be up on ao3 under the name ‘forfitzsimmons’ shortly, but here it is for now. I hope I balanced it out and didn’t make it too sad. I wanted it to end happy so I hope you like it. I might go back and edit it, but for now, here it is.

Prompt: Fitzsimmons at midnight with tea

4 Times Fitz Made the Tea and 1 Time Simmons Did

By sorrowandtearsturnintowords

8 o’clock

            Fitz had only ever known Simmons to be very calm and collected, if a bit excitable. Then, exams happened. He started to wonder if his friend had been replaced by a more rabid copy of himself.

            As opposed to Simmons, Fitz was the opposite of collected. He tended to be messy and a bit paranoid (he still swears that mailman was with HYDRA). During exams, however, the two almost seemed to switch.

Fitz had never fully realized this until he visited Simmons in her academy dorm for a study session on chemical kinetics. It was already 8 when he got there since he had a project for his advanced mechanics class to work on. He actually hadn’t seen Simmons since the day before. So, when he arrived to find her in the same clothes he left her in, with more wrinkles of course, and her notes strewn messily around her room, he was a bit startled.

“Simmons?”

Her head snapped up from her book. She rubbed at her neck, presumably from whiplash.

“Oh, Fitz, you’re here! Aren’t you early?” She laughed nervously. Fitz had never once seen her this out of sorts. Even on days she didn’t have class, she would never even sit around her dorm in pajamas, much less clothes from the day before. She prided herself on professionalism and decorum, even when it wasn’t necessary.

“Simmons, it’s past eight. I’m actually a wee bit late, to be honest. Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes, of course! I just got caught up in looking over my notes.” She seemed a bit twitchy and Fitz looked over to find the vestiges of coffee in her mug.

“Have you been drinkin’ coffee?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, a bit. I was getting a bit drowsy and wanted to stay awake to keep studying.” She swayed slightly.

“Okay, Simmons, I’m gonna put the kettle on and you’re not havin’ anymore coffee. It’s not good for you and the American stuff tastes like right piss anyways.” He dropped his books and snatched up her mug before she could protest.

“Fitz, you don’t have to—.”

“I think I do. You look like you haven’t slept since I saw you Friday.”

She averted her gaze. “Of course I have, Fitz. Don’t be silly.” She yawned, immediately followed by an awkward cough.

He grabbed Simmons’ kettle from her cupboard and set it up on the stove. “Simmons, you are the worst liar I have ever met. I hope you never have to go undercover for anythin’.” Fitz turned around to look at her. “So, I’ll ask again. Are you alright, Simmons?”

She bit her lip and picked at a loose thread on her comforter. “I’m just stressed is all, really.”

Fitz raised an eyebrow. “You call this stressed?” The kettle whistled. Fitz took it off the stove and poured two cups. “No offense, but you look like a mess, Simmons.” He took out the honey and cream to fix their tea. He carried the drinks over to her bed. “Here,” he held out her cup, “Touch ‘a honey and spoonful of cream, yeah?”

She smiled genuinely, “Yes.”

He sat down next to her. “Now then, we’re gonna study for a bit longer, but when we’re done you’re goin’ to sleep. I’ll stay here until you do if I have to.”

“Fitz, you don’t—.”

“Seems I do. You won’t do well if you sleep through your exams. You’re smarter than that, I should think.”

She sighed. “Alright, I suppose you have a point.” She rolled her eyes at his grin. “You always have to be right, don’t you?”

“Of course.” He grabbed his chemical kinetics book. “Where should we start?”

9 o’clock

Fitz desperately wanted to get to sleep early tonight, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen. His stomach swirled uncomfortably at the thought of what would happen tomorrow. He swung out of his bed and padded through the apartment he shared with Simmons and into the kitchen. He set about making some tea when Simmons walked in, crumpled night gown and all.

“Fitz? What are you doing up?” She rubbed at her eyes. “I thought you wanted to get to bed early.”

“I could say the same to you.” He turned the stove on and set the kettle on it.

“I couldn’t sleep. I’m a bit nervous for tomorrow. It’ll be our first day in the field.”

“Same.” His hands twitched anxiously just thinking about it. “There’s gonna come a day we’ll regret all this.”

“Oh, Fitz,” she frowned.

“I know, I know. I’ll shut up now. It’s hard not to think about all the bad things that might happen.” Like losing my best friend. He took out the honey and cream.

“But what about the positive things? We’ll see the world and all kinds of interesting things. Maybe you’ll get to see some alien tech, Fitz!” She practically vibrated in excitement.

“That’s true,” he couldn’t help his smile. “It’ll be nice as long as that tech doesn’t kill us.”

She rolled her eyes at him just as the kettle whistled. He poured two cups and made their tea. He handed Simmons her cup, not even bothering to ask if he’d made it right at this point. Simmons sat down at the table, chair turned to face him, and he leaned against the counter. The normalcy relaxed him. Perhaps he’d be okay as long as he was with Simmons.

“We’ll be alright,” she read his mind as always. “We can solve any problem together.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “Together.” No matter what, he’d protect the both of them.

10 o’clock

Fitz couldn’t sleep and he honestly wasn’t sure if he’d ever sleep again. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Jemma, red-faced and tear-stained, being pulled away from him. He’d drift off for maybe a few minutes only to wake up sweating and hyperventilating.

The events of today were exactly what he’d always feared. Losing Jemma would break him. They’d known each other over ten years, been beside each other for over ten years, been best friends for over ten years. He’d almost lost that.

And as much as it made him feel inadequate for not being able to save Jemma, he was forever grateful that Ward got to her in time. She told Fitz that he was the hero, but he certainly didn’t feel like it.

That was what brought him to the Bus’ kitchen. He wanted to make some tea and wallow and remind himself that at least Jemma was safe and sleeping soundly in her bunk.

It was as he thought that when Jemma herself entered the kitchen. Not for the first time, Fitz marveled at their synchronization. Every single time, he mused.

“Oh,” she exclaimed, “I didn’t expect you to be up, Fitz.” She bit her lip and Fitz struggled to look away, facing heating up.

“I think at this point you should,” he chuckled weakly. “Every time I can’t sleep you manage to come into the kitchen while I’m making tea.”

Fitz did as he always did to make their tea. Stove on, kettle set, honey and cream ready on the counter. It was routine after so many years. It was practically tradition.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she whispered. “I just keep thinking…”

“Yeah, me too.”

Jemma came closer and took his hand. Fitz’s heart sped up curiously. She bit her lip again.

“I really am sorry, Fitz.” She squeezed his hand. “If our roles had been reversed, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“The same thing, I’d think. Minus the argument, probably.”

“Do you regret going into the field?”

“I regret not being able to protect you.” There it was. The kettle whistled and Fitz took that chance to avoid her eyes and pulled away from her hand. He’d promised himself that he’d protect her and he already failed, and nearly lost her because of it.

“Oh, Fitz,” she took his hand again, stopping him from pouring their tea. “You don’t have to protect me.”

“Yes, well, obviously I do.” He cringed at his tone, but he couldn’t help it.

They were silent for a few moments. He squeezed her hand, as if to make sure she was still there.

“I was trying to protect you too.”

His head snapped up. “What? You hit me with a bloody fire extinguisher!”

“Because I knew you’d stop me. If I didn’t go you’d have gotten hurt. I couldn’t stand knowing I would hurt you.”

He studied her face, tired and obviously guilty. “We’re both a right mess, aren’t we?”

She smiled softly and his heart sped up again. “I suppose so.”

She let go of his hand and, despite missing the contact, he finished making their tea. He handed a cup to her as he always did. They leaned against the counter together, closer than usual. Their hips pressed together lightly and the hands resting on the counter just barely touched. The contact was comforting, if a little nerve-wracking.

“Promise me you won’t do that again,” he looked at her. “Please.”

She stared at him for a moment. “Okay.” Something in her tone felt off, but he let it go for now. He just wanted to be comforted by her presence.

11 o’clock

For once Fitz hoped he’d be able to make tea on his own. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been this mad at Jemma or himself. It was mostly himself, but he wasn’t exactly happy with Jemma either. He wasn’t about to tell her that, considering how broken she had been over what happened to Skye. Fitz just wanted to brood on his own for once and be glad that grenade had been dendrotoxin instead of an actual, blow-someone-to-smithereens grenade.

Luck was not on his side however, because just as the kettle whistled, Jemma came into the kitchen. As usual, he resisted a scowl. It wasn’t the time to be mad, at least not at her.

Her looked her over. Jemma’s face was still red and splotchy from crying. Her hands looked red too and Fitz imagined her scrubbing at them to get their friend’s blood off long after it had actually been washed away.

Silently, he poured another cup and fixed their tea. He gave Jemma her cup, still saying nothing. He leaned against the counter like he usually did and she pressed up against his side, something she’d started doing since the chitauri virus incident. He tried not to, but he leaned into her too. He tried, and failed, to ignore the warmth that spread through him at the contact.

“You’re upset with me,” she mumbled. Fitz cursed how well she knew him.

“No, I’m not,” he tried. “Just myself.”

“You shouldn’t be and I know you are.” She gazed over at him, “I think after over ten years I can tell when you’re upset with me.”

Fitz gathered his thoughts. “You promised you wouldn’t do it again.”

“I know, but I hadn’t really had the time to think about it when you were going to be hit by a grenade.”

“But what if it had been a regular grenade, Jemma? You’d be…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“I know, but I’m not sorry I did it.”

“You probably would’ve been able to stop her. You’re more sensible than I am. I let her go in there alone and I just…” He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing she didn’t always make him want to say everything. “It’s like I can never do anything. I couldn’t protect you and I couldn’t protect Skye and—.”

“Fitz,” she pressed her hand against his cheek and forced him to face her. “It’s not all on you. It’s not your responsibility to protect us from everything.”

“But I have to, Jemma.” He swallowed. “You’re all I’ve got. If I lost you, I—.” He couldn’t finish.

“I can’t lose you either.” The words seemed so loud in the silence.

He wished he could take the frown off her face and the tears away from her eyes, but he couldn’t. So instead, he placed his hand over hers. Everything that needed to be spoken was out there. They didn’t need anything else.

Fitz wished they could stay like this forever.

Midnight

Fitz had tried his best to avoid the kitchen at night ever since Simmons had returned. Even with them so out of sync, he wanted to avoid being alone with her. Tonight, he couldn’t. He tried. He’d been staring at the ceiling for at least an hour and knew the only way he’d get to sleep was if he had some tea to calm him down.

Everything had gone wrong today. They’d almost been crushed, they’d nearly lost Mack, and Trip… He shook the thought out of his head. He couldn’t think about it. If he did, he’d be admitting it was real and Fitz wasn’t ready for that. He’d hated the man at first out of jealousy, but Trip had stuck by him when Simmons had left and didn’t take sides when she had returned.

All that brought him to the Playground kitchen. He took a deep breath, willing his hands to stop twitching. He’d have to be quick in case Simmons wasn’t far behind.

He entered and there, sitting on the counter was his mug filled with tea. He scanned the room and found the outline of someone slouched in a chair.

There had been very few instances in which Simmons had gotten to the kitchen first. Usually it was Fitz who caved first to the stress of the day. He quietly approached the cup of tea. It was cold. She’d apparently caved a good while ago.

Simmons must’ve been very tired or she would’ve noticed him by now. He hadn’t seen her since they’d been told the news. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.

He picked up the cup of tea despite being cold. The scrape of the cup against the counter made a sound that startled Simmons. She practically jumped.

“Fitz?” Her voice cracked and his heart broke. She stood up and took a few steps closer.

“Hey.” He avoided her eyes.

“I’m sorry your tea is cold.” He could tell that wasn’t really what she wanted to say. “It seems I don’t know how to make just one cup of tea anymore.”

In truth, he didn’t either. He still made a cup for both of them, every single bloody time.

“It’s alright. I—I don’t mind,” he cursed his stutter.

She bit her lip, as she so often did. “I respect your decision.”

Fitz frowned. “What?”

“To—to move to the garage with Mack, if that’s what you—what you really want.” She looked away. “I just wanted you to know that.”

Fitz was thankful she didn’t want to talk about Trip, but this wasn’t exactly the conversation he’d want to have either. He hadn’t wanted a conversation at all, but he was too tired to argue and Simmons had still made his tea just right even if it was cold. He wasn’t sure if the normalcy hurt or not, but it made his chest ache and his throat close up.

Fitz realized he hadn’t heard her voice much lately. It shouldn’t surprise him, since he’d been avoiding her so much, but he also hadn’t really let her talk. He didn’t want to have this conversation, but maybe it still needed to happen.

“What, um, what were you going to—going to say?” He mumbled.

“Say when?”

“Before I—before I said I was going to, uh, leave the lab.”

She didn’t say anything for awhile and Fitz wondered if he shouldn’t have brought it up at all.

“I don’t want us to be broken, Fitz.” She forced herself to look at him. “You’re the most important person in the world to me. I—I don’t know in what way I love you, but…” She took a shaky breath. “You’ve said before that I’m all you’ve got. You’re all I’ve got too, Fitz.” She paused. “I still need time to process everything—you didn’t exactly let me do that in the medpod—.”

“There wasn’t exactly time in the medpod.” He scowled.

“And I wish you hadn’t waited until you thought you’d die—.”

“I was afraid I’d lose you if I said anything and I was right.”

“You never lost me, Fitz. I just screwed everything up.” She brought her arms to her chest, hands fidgeting. “It’s my fault we’re broken.” The space between them suddenly seemed larger, like they were standing on different continents.

“What in the bloody hell are you talking about?”

“I should’ve stopped you or swam faster and I shouldn’t have lied to you and I and I—.”

“Stop,” he interrupted. “What happened in the medpod was—was my choice. This,” he held up his hands, twitching sporadically, “Isn’t your fault.” He paused. “I never thought you’d ever be able to, uh, to, uh, lie to me. It ended up not being a very good one, though.”

“I know.” They just stood there for a few moments. “I thought you’d be better without me here.”

His brow furrowed. “Are you bloody mad, woman? Why—why would I get—get better?”

“I was right though. You’re so much better now. Well enough to even go out in the field.” She choked out a sob and Fitz found it hard to breathe. “You’re better off without me, but I can’t let go, Fitz.”

It was as if he was on autopilot when he rushed over to hold her. It hurt enough to see her expression when he’d told her he was leaving the lab, but he could never leave her like this. Even if it hurt, he loved her too much. Despite everything, he still loved her and he wasn’t sure that would ever change as much as he wished he could take it all back.

She cried in his arms and he let it happen. Jemma always felt things more than him and everything that has happened must have just become too much and Fitz let a few tears go himself. When she quieted down, he pulled back just enough to face her.

“I’m not better off without you. I—I was, I am a mess. I’m not—I can’t keep up with you anymore. I don’t deserve you, Jemma.” It hurt to say it out loud. “How can we be—be equals if I can’t even, um, string a—string a, uh, sentence together.”

“Fitz, I’m not friends with you for your intelligence. It brought us together, sure, but that’s not why we stayed together.” She seemed to search his face. “It’s because you make stupid jokes and have an unhealthy obsession with monkeys and because you like Doctor Who and you make the best pancakes and burn everything else and because you always know what to do when I’m upset and you know how I always like my tea.” She looked straight at him, “It’s because we’re two of a kind, not because you’re brilliant and yes, you’re still bloody brilliant even if it’s a bit harder to show it. It’s,” she hiccuped, “It’s because you’re my hero, Fitz. Always.”

Fitz’s heart swelled and god her words were beautiful and exactly what he wanted to hear. He wanted to believe her so badly, but he couldn’t. Not while his throat felt so narrow and his guilt felt like it would spill over. Maybe one day, maybe one day soon, but not tonight.

“You’re the hero this time, Jemma.” He brought his hand up and ghosted it over her face. She leaned into it. “It won’t—it might not be permanent.”

“What?”

“Me at the—at the garage. Maybe I’ll go—go back to the lab, eventually.” He knew it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but it was all he could really give her. They both needed time and they couldn’t have that if they had to be around each other all day in the lab.

“Okay,” she nodded. “But can we still…”

“Yeah. We can—we can still work on it.”

For the first time in months, Fitz saw Jemma smile and he fell in love all over again. He remembered how it felt to have that smile directed at him, for it to be because of him. For the first time in months, he smiled too. Right now they were broken and they’d both changed, but in that moment Fitz was sure that if nothing else, they’d be okay.

She tucked her head against his chest and he held her a little closer. They stayed like that for so long that the whole pot of tea went cold. Not that it mattered too much to them that it did. It wasn’t the first time and for the first time in a long time they knew it wouldn’t be the last.