Sickening Sixteen
Just yesterday I was singing about waiting to be sixteen and what it might be like
Today I reminisce on my younger years like a war from distant history
I fought to get this far, but was it really worth the fight
To wake up in a new era and feel the exact same, always so far from victory?
I’m starting to think the numbers don’t make a difference
One year since you left me, three since she left the earth, six since they split
Though the time has buried some of the scars under the mountain of reverence
Not even carefully learned ignorance can completely conceal how I’ve lost it
I’ve fallen into the trap I told myself I’d never get caught in
Gladly lead into a box of promises, eyes covered by society’s blindfold
When I realized there was no escape, asphyxiation had already set in
Tangled up in the mundane ropes that burn me when I contest their hold
Sometimes my eyes turn green when I think of the people
Who can wake up in the morning and feel alright about their boring life
Why did I have to be born a wanderer, never finding peace in peaceful?
And how did I allow myself to be attracted by the glint of a familiar knife?
I don’t want this life I’ve made for myself
A kindergarten project I crafted all alone out of unwanted objects
So I’ll stick it to the fridge door and grab an empty book from the shelf
Pen in hand, I turn the page and write down my future and all of its prospects
-This is the year I go from damsel to hero
23/12