So my Grandma asked someone to make this cross stitch for her. It is 200000% Not My Thing, but she’s my grandma and I will cross-stitch whatever she asks for.
But this pattern. Is doing. My. Head. In.
It’s lazily made and so many elements MAKE NO SENSE.
WHY ARE ALL THE WINDOWS OPEN? (New England windows have sash bars the whole length, not just the top half, therefore, these windows are open).
IT IS DAYTIME WHY IS EVERY SINGLE LIGHT ON???
Furthermore:
WHY? WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS SALLY? WHY IS THE POST SUPPORTING RHE VERANDA ROOF HANGING OFF THE FUCKING DECK? DO YOU WANT THIS ROOF TO COLLAPSE, SALLY? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL THIS FAMILY?
The fuck happened to the pattern on the wood panelling here? It’s like this both in the picture and on the pattern itself. Did no one wonder about that? Seriously?
Nearly every time a tree branch is in front of the roof they just… ? Decide? No? Outline? Needed?? Except once! Once on the bottom left the outline is still there. Am I supposed to believe that on all the other branches, the snow is piled so high as to totally obscure the house? And if so, y’know what that would be? Bad. Fucking. Design. Because it just looks like someone forgot the outline.
What the fuck? West, South, East, and Zorth?
The correct perspective on these letters is literally just as easy to sew as whatever the fuck this is supposed to be. Maybe if this family didn’t spend the entire fucking day with every light on in the house and heating the fucking outside in the middle of winter they’d be able to afford a better fucking weather vane what is this shit.
And what is THIS shit? I’ve asked so many people. We have no idea. A giant candle stuck to the wall? But if that, why not use yellow stitches for the ‘flame’?
A stocking? With extra random lines? Wind-chimes someone mysteriously attached to a wall rather than a ceiling?
A Halloween decoration someone forgot to take down?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
Also, SALLY HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A DOOR BEFORE THAT’S NOT WHERE DOORKNOBS GO.
The fuck is going on here? Someone suggested it’s supposed to be shading, but… you can’t just use the exact same green for shading as is actually part of the paintwork?
I’d also point out that two different shades of white and one insanely pale and barely distinguishable blue for the snow ON A WHITE CANVAS is boring as fuck to stitch and just kind of a waste.
You want the lights on? MAKE IT NIGHTTIME, SALLY.
Also whoever lives here apparently hangs their curtains the wrong way round but whatever.
Like the design of the windows and having all the lights on and the curtains the wrong way around I *get* that they’ve probably done it because it’s more aesthetic but there are literally ways to incorporate these elements or work around them in ways that don’t make everything absurd.
I’ve changed/am changing most of this stuff as I go along. I’ve left off whatever that thing is to the right of the door and replaced the flowers in the plant pot with a small tree that occupies the same space. I put the missing stitches back in behind the railing. I added another column of stitches so the post isn’t hanging off the edge of the damn veranda. Changed the door to give it an actual handle, etc.
But I’m just irritated that like… someone made a pattern that is being sold and it’s so badly designed. *I* could do better. If I’d actually paid money for this pattern I would absolutely be writing a bad review rather than just moaning about it on tunglr. It’s fucking shoddy.