I can’t even quite put into words how excited I am to be sharing this with you.
This story has been a while in the making, but really took off a couple of months ago, and has consumed me. I only hope I've done it justice.
There are so many people I have to thank. My writing group chat has been so supportive, screaming with me (and occasionally at me) as I churned this thing out, and it made all the difference. I have to thank a few people in particular: my darling @littlebabyruth for her ongoing support and enthusiasm, not to mention her psych-picking; my wonderful @annie-pie for her med picking and support and encouragement; the always-lovely @nottooldforthisship for her enthusiasm and the amazing edit she made. And the biggest most amazing thanks go to my sweetie @realitybetterthanfiction for her beta work and support. This also brought me a new friend, daysundercover and I am so thankful to have gotten to know her better, not to mention I’m so grateful for her impromptu beta work!!
And without further ado:
The last thing Harry Styles expects when he's hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that's exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn't heard one word from Louis, and he's moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he's a chef, isn't easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he'd left turn out to be not so easily forgotten.
This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.
Explicit - 60K
Read it here on AO3! (And please, check the tags carefully!)
So @fruxoo and @fullonlarrie tagged me to talk about a favorite fic I’ve written, and to share my favorite chapter and scene.
And - wow. This is really hard to do. I kind of have a bit of a love-hate relationship with everything I’ve written (well, pretty much everything I do honestly). While I’ve written for a long time, it’s really in the last year that I feel like I’ve committed more to it as a process. Obviously I enjoy some of the shorter, silly things I’ve done (mainly because they make me laugh a whole bunch, they can be found here ha ha). But at this point, I’d say Feels Like Coming Home is probably highest in my heart.
One of my challenges as a writer, which is, of course, parallels my challenges in the rest of my life, is that I love to start things, but I don’t always have great stamina and staying power, so finishing things, especially longer things, can be tough - I get distracted or lose interest. FLCH is the longest thing I’ve written, and I worked hard on it. So much of it just seemed to flow out of me.
My goal was to write a story of how love can heal from being fractured and broken, and how love can heal us, but also how to work on healing yourself. It’s not an easy journey for these two, and my hope was to show a different side to a mature relationship - what it it takes to keep love going through hard times.
I’m having trouble picking something because of spoilers. I’ve already posted from the very beginning of the fic, so here’s something from a bit further one, when they’re reconnecting, looking at rekindling their romance. This is from Chapter 2:
Harry, lost in thought, watching Louis chat with a couple of guys at the other end of the bar, frowns as he catches Louis doing his trademarked glance-down-glance-up-big-smile move and says distractedly, “Yeah, he really is. Excuse me, Allen, I’ve got to…”
He’s not entirely sure what it is he has to do as he swallows the rest of his drink and pushes away from the bar and Allen, to move down to the other end of the room. He shoves his way in none-too-gently next to the guy currently flirting with Louis. Louis turns to look at him with a smug smile.
“Well, hello, Harry.”
“It’s almost midnight,” Harry says, glancing at the clock on the wall.
Louis nods, pours two wines and a beer, hands them off to Jesy. “Yeah. You making any resolutions?”
Harry shrugs as Louis mixes another martini and slides it across the bar to him. “Nah, I don’t usually. I mean, I try to, like, set my intentions for the year or whatever, but I don’t do resolutions. You?”
Louis smiles, nods to a customer who shouts a thanks for the champagne he just poured her. “Same resolution I make every day, I guess.”
Harry is curious but wonders if it’s too personal to ask.
Louis leans across the bar, coming in close to Harry. “You can ask,” is all he says, and waits.
Harry can hear the patrons around them getting excited as on the screen above the ball starts to drop. “What is your resolution, Louis?”
Louis smiles and says, “I wake up every day and say ‘try not to fuck it up today, Tommo.’”
Harry gives a soft, almost sad laugh, achingly aware of how close to him Louis is. He could turn his head, just a bit, and kiss him.
He looks down at his drink and says quietly, “My grandmother always said you should spend New Year’s Day the way you want to spend the year, doing the things that bring you the most joy, with the people who bring you the most happiness.”
The bar is getting louder now, the countdown chant increasing in intensity as Louis' lips brush Harry’s cheek. “And what will you be doing tomorrow then, Harold?”
Finally Harry turns and looks at Louis. He’s right there, so close, far too close for social norms, and he’s smiling as he watches Harry decide. “I don’t know, Lou, but...I hope I’ll be doing it with you.” As the clock winds down to the new year, all Harry has to do to bridge the gap between them is lean slightly, and then his lips are on Louis’ in a soft whisper of a kiss. It’s not passionate, it’s not heavy, it’s almost nothing at all.
It was nice of Reese to throw Hugh a welcome home party, it was even nicer for the woman to invite her. She had lots of fun and she was so excited that he was home. Crystal couldn’t deny that her feelings for the man went beyond just being friends, but she knew it was silly. There was no way he would return them. He was currently walking home with him, which was nice. She didn’t want to take too much of his time at the party giving that he was the guest of honour. “Man, Reese sure throws a good party, huh?” Crystal chuckled.
