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massively underrated part of The Count of Monte Cristo is when the count serves a little concoction to his guest and the guy is like “what is this?” and then the count is like “the ambrosia of the gods” and the guys like yeah sure but What Is It? and the count spends like a page extolling the virtues of the concoction that will make you King of the World in your mind and the guys like that’s great man. What’s it called? and the count is like “are you familiar with this story where the king gave his men this concoction and they all got so high they’d do anything to get that high again?” and he’s like “oh so it’s weed.” and the count is like “yah lol.”

#tbf its hashish so like Special Weed Concentrate #but it is infinitely funnier the third read around when i know what hashish is #the count of monte cristo #flints stuff #also massively underrated is when the guy is like ‘this kinda tastes like shit’#and the count in true stoner fashion goes ‘that’s because you haven’t had it enough for your palette to truly appreciate the delicacy’#he’s just like me fr

stupid dumb little idiot cone for stupid dumb little idiots

#stupid dumb little idiots #who don’t even have the impulse control not to repeatedly lick the very bad tasting medicine #on a part of his body he shouldn’t even be able to reach #flints stuff

i think the funniest thing ever is when staff changes anything on this site even slightly. like this is the gay autism website what made u think a design change that offers no increase in functionality would appeal to this demographic

#abt the notes bubble obvs #i have no idea how much of this site actually has autism and how much is that i cultivate my space #but regardless #i think it’s so funny to watch the blog color change or the icon or the notes bubble #and everyone immediately hate it #me too tho #flints stuff

hyperspecific poll time but it’s shit that’s happened to me

has 9 siblings

moved 10+ times (at least to another towns)

has driven cross country (coast 2 coast or border 2 border)

had to quit a job bc u discovered they were committing fraud

pussy (or whatever else u got going on) so good it gave ur parter a nosebleed

real life “there was only one bed” experience

caught smoking weed at a public venue + convinced security to smoke w u instead

hit on by a guy, got his moms number instead

break up w ur s/o but they stay in love w u for years after (> once)

spends more time talking to someone in another country than anyone in ur house