Motivation 101 - How to lower expectations
So as an artist in the early stages of creating some sort of name for yourself, you end up doing jobs that just don't do it for you. Whether you don't want to sell out or just want to focus on your own projects, we all succumb to doing work we would rather not. For me this has been free work for a company my family knows, a guaranteed way to pile on the pressure. So the work starting out was alright, they were nice enough to pay for my travel expenses (due to me being a poverty stricken student), and I found myself excited at the idea of potentially moving up the ladder into their paid workforce. This hopefulness kept me on schedule and efficient, even when the people I worked for seemingly wanted Spielberg quality when I had the equiptment that was more fitted for Uwe Boll. However, I found ways around various behind the scenes mishaps and overall my employers were pleased. Flash forward a few months from my last bit of work for aforementioned company, I was taking my two weeks holiday away from my studies, back home enjoying quality family time. This was of course a good opportunity to do more free work, so the company inevitably hit me up. I was a little more reluctant as I honestly didn't want to have to travel up to the HQ when I already had other work to do for my course. However, with some slight pressure from my family I decided to just nut up and go. On the day of heading up I was told to bring my camera and additional equipment so that I could film when I got there. Little did they know I had a camera that was on next to no charge and a painful infected finger. Trying my best to do what I could, I went ahead and grabbed the extra battery and charger before catching my train. On arriving, I made sure to set up the charger and battery and get to work. I ended up spending around 2 hours filming both on my dying camera and my IPhone, with the iPhone footage being the only usable one due to the bright yellow overhead lights ruining the white balance. It was honestly a quiet disaster, but being a proud idiot I didn't let on my troubles and headed back home with some footage that I was not too thrilled about editing. Admittedly I sat on my arse for a while, not feeling mentally up to doing much of anything whilst my coursework deadlines were due. However this 'mental health month' turned into the 'mental health saga' as I managed to drag out editing the footage for 4 months. They never set a deadline or expectation for when these had to be submitted but I imagine they likely wanted me to hammer them out. Not good honestly. I just kept demotivating myself by thinking of how I had to pay for my last journey up to film and how despite having a paid social media team with the same equipment as me, they were still using my time for free work. It wasn't a good way to think although I do still semi-agree to some of my feelings on it. I don't want an internship or to be an official employee but if I am doing the jobs your staff should be able to do then its annoying they're still the ones being paid. Today I actually submitted the work I did for the company and have of course been left on the dreaded 'Read'. I got some perhaps deserving flack from my family for not being prompt, and I have learned some important lessons: 1) In the end I never declined their work so I should have still stayed loyal to my usual working habits (work produced in/around 2 weeks max). If I wanted to stop doing it I should have swallowed the awkwardness and just been straightforward. 2) Free work isn't always doing you a favour. If you are capable of getting paid or endorsed work solo then its ok to say to no to the offer of free work. You likely wouldn't serve tables for free with no garuntee of ever getting a paid job, it would just feel like free labour that offers nothing back. 3) Part of becoming a professional is treating every bit of work professionally. It can be hard when studies or mental health gets in the way but even if you're not keen, take this advice: get it done as good as you can and then its over. If you drag it out longer the more likely you dread doing it.
