- ̗̀ META TOPICS. / @floredia & @waeslie for the kicks / always accepting !
Quinn’s worst habit is, and forever will be, bottling up her emotions. Listen, if she wants to make something known, she will kick up a fuss and scream about it to the world. She will let you know and she will be LOUD about it.
Generally speaking, it is in her nature to be PRIVATE. She’s a rather secretive individual by choice. Even if she wants to talk about it, she very rarely seeks out the right ears to listen to her thoughts and feelings ( … no pun intended ? ). She wasn’t taught to talk about things and that’s how she was brought up. You’re more than welcome to blame her family ( ‘ welcome to the Fabray residence. Please take off your coats and leave your bad feelings and negative energy at the door ! ’ ), but it’s not entirely their fault either and she understands that. She let herself get that way, and it’s hard to shake a habit once it’s embedded within you.
More to the point, however, she doesn’t take Fred’s death well at all, and there are so many layers to her grief. Sadness is really the emotion that affects her the most because she understands it so well. They’ve met many times before. They are old and begrudging friends. It’s the one emotion she controls the BEST, but also the one she finds most difficult to overcome and acknowledge. Close friends will notice that she doesn’t cry for at least a month and refuses to say his name for even longer. She becomes rather STOIC, in a sense, as if she deceive herself into thinking she is okay by not letting anything show, because at the end of the day, she truly believes that it’s not her pain to feel. Despite him being her friend and having considered Fred to be like a brother to her, she almost doesn’t feel like she’s earned the right to grieve, so she tends to direct the COMPASSION she receives to the people she feels n e e d s it the most.
Everyone else comes first. It’s time she put herself second.
It doesn’t necessarily need to be said, but Quinn’s really not that great at facing things head on. There are several examples of her actively choosing to be in denial in canon. She c l i n g s onto the Cheerios in season one and ignores her growing respect for the New Directions because she believes the Cheerios ( and by extension, the school ) will still accept her despite being pregnant and knowing deep down that they won’t. She makes excuses for Biff’s shitty attitude when the glee club notices he wasn’t paying attention to her performance in season five. She pretends she’s okay with Finn still liking Rachel because she believes they can get past it even though it grates on her nerves and makes her immensely jealous and therefore possessive.
There’s a large part of me that believes her natural state is denial, and even though she accepted Fred’s death as fact —– because there’s no point denying its permanence when she knows they’ll never get him back —– she doesn’t let herself properly process it. She can’t. It hurts too much, and because it hurts, she deliberately pushes that pain to the side. Even in canon, her overall arc is about learning how to move on from the past and the grief and trauma and look towards the future, and while she is rather exceptional at being realistic and understanding the difficult truth, there is always a part of her that keeps hold of it just a bit longer than she knows she should. I don’t think she’ll ever be ready to let go, and in a way, it’s okay. It’s also a little understandable because there was no closure and she’s probably never going to get any closure. It’s like having someone SEVER you from your oxygen tank in the middle of the deep ocean and leaving you to struggle for air. That’s what it feels like to her at times ————– suffocating, overwhelming.
Also, I think her rage deserves an honourable mention because it intertwines with her sadness and the slight twinge of g u i l t she feels after a while. The anger that she felt when she didn’t get to say goodbye, her FURY at the aforementioned sympathy she gets from ex - classmates, friends and peers. If sadness is her old pal, then anger must be her best friend. After a while, even condolences get tedious and she becomes impatient. Every piteous look and empty word of support sent her way brings her no comfort. It feels patronising and forced and she grows to despise it because most of the people offering it her way usually didn’t know him personally and she sees that in their eyes. They look at her differently than the people who did know him. They talk about him differently, too, and she always, always notices that. She knows a lot of them only associate her with Fred because they realise she’s in a relationship with George and therefore it’s probably only right for them to approach her, too. They mean well, but it gets on her last nerves. Again, it is not her pain to feel. For the love of Merlin, just leave her alone.
𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 & 𝐆𝐎, 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄. for of all those that had left him of either their own accord or death, bran had been by his side the longest. bran, whom was the one to hold rickon’s hand when he was afraid and cold beneath wind swept branches, who in the dark tower where they had said their goodbyes held him tightly; almost afraid to let go... was all rickon remembered of that life, that he had lived where happiness had grown like the flourish of flowers & thorns between each and every one of his ribs. the petals now, known as sorrow. the stems, rage. and the thorns? nostolgia, pain digging in and hooking deep into his flesh.
letters are strewn upon the desk, copies upon copies upon copies of carefully typed versions of jonathan’s letters & notes. presently, she’s pouring over his diary, one hand carefully following along line-by-line, the other resting on the typewriter, READY TO GET TO WORK. her long-forgotten tea sits abandoned in its saucer just next to the diary, its contents long gone cold. transcribing is a difficult job, but one which she does with pride ----- it’s important work, even if it is difficult. MINA STARTLES, a sound behind her pulling her abruptly from the writing. ❛ jonathan ! ❜ she admonishes, heart pounding hard within her chest. ❛ you frightened me. ❜
❛ star. ❜ name is drawn out, tone seemingly light, & yet dripping with a myriad of meaning. gaze is ice-water, juxtaposing the SLIGHT SMILE tugging at the corners of his lips. ❛ where have you been ? ❜
❛❛ Please, for the love of ALL that is good and holy, can you stop bringing attention to us when George and I get into a spat on the Quidditch pitch ? ❜❜ Oh, my, is that a p l e a d i n g tone we detect ? Legs walk at double the pace in order to catch up with Lee, her arms wrapped tightly around her Charms book. Despite her attempt to APPEAL with him, a soft expression warms her face. Cheeks are dashed with the slightest shade of pink and she breaches her next subject. ❛❛ The looks people have been giving us whenever we walk past them . . . you’d think we were s e e i n g each other or something. ❜❜
“ i wish i knew how to talk about it. ” –––– 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚢𝚕.
The lives they had from before shouldn’t matter, not when the world that they knew had come to an end. The traumas they’d faced shouldn’t continue to loom over them, plaguing them with triggers and uneasiness. There were bigger worries and their goals had shifted to move simply surviving up to the top of the list. But no matter the changes, no matter the time that had past --- Abi knew how it felt to have demons lurking in the shadows of the mind.
She doesn’t bother to look in his direction; he’d opened up enough for her to know how vulnerable he’d allowed himself to be and she didn’t want her gaze to push him back. Shoulders lift and fall with the heavy breath she draws slowly into her lungs as she shifts in her seat, arms folding tightly in front of her chest. ❛ 𝐈 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆, ❜ Tongue brushes up between closed lips as fingertips tap nervously up against her skin before she finally brings herself to steal a glance in his direction. ❛ You don’t have to talk about it though, we can just sit here. I’m not expecting anything and maybe those wounds can go untouched for a little while longer. ❜
There was not a single dull moment in Karen's life once she outed Wilson Fisk for his crimes, then learning her once lawyer, turned employer and ex-boyfriend Matt Murdock was the Devil in Hell's Kitchen. Before all of this, her life was not prefect anyways. She knew that would not change any time soon, especially with the things she had done, like helping Frank Castle escape law enforcement twice and her own crimes. For now, she can enjoy the silence that lingered around her and work at the Bulletin. Like she was doing right now. She was staying there late in the night to try and get this report done since it was almost due to be reviewed by her boss. She was about the only one probably there since it was quite late. She nearly reached for her pistol when she caught sight of a shadowy figure standing close to where she was sitting. “You scared me!” She stated to the other with a sigh of relief. Her focus went on to the person inside of the room since it was only proper manners to do so. // @floredia liked this for a starter
❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐖 '𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐖𝐄 𝐆𝐎 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊? ❜ A smile pulls at the corner of her lips while she looks towards her, frame leaning up against the wall. ❛ I think we could both use some fresh air. ❜
