(The story on AO3 is here! Please do give some kudos if you liked this~)
"Just one more, pleaseee~" Dipper moaned at Bill, the brunette having slumped onto the demon's lap while drunk. Bill looked down at Dipper's face, which was red as a cherry, with an unimpressed face. He raised a questioning eyebrow at the young adult.
"Pine Tree, even I, a demon, am responsible enough to know that you should not have any more. I suppose you should know better than that as well," the demon tutted at Dipper, who only grinned foolishly in response and tapped his finger lightly on Bill's nose.
"Boop," Dipper giggled like a child when he touched the demon's nose. Said demon only stared down at the brunette with a serious expression. Bill should’ve known that Dipper was a total light weight. The young adult had just only downed a glass of margarita before beginning to hiccup and giggle at nearly everything, even the faint hoot of the owls outside.
While Bill was regretting his decision in letting the Dipper try some alcohol, said brunette had puckered his lips and started making smooching noises at Bill. The blond rolled his eyes and stood up, carrying his intoxicated Pine Tree bridal-style.
Bill gave an exasperated sigh as he started walking across the living room of the Shack, "Kid, we're getting you to bed,"
Dipper, unlike his usual defiant self, absentmindedly agreed and didn't even object to being carried. He giggled some more before reaching up with his hands to caress his partner's face tenderly, earning some annoyed mumbles from the other.
The brunette whispered to Bill in a husky voice before winking flirtatiously, "Are we gonna have some fun?"
"Not while you're so agreeable," The blond proceeded to start up the stairs, the ring of his footsteps combined with Dipper's juvenile giggling echoing throughout the empty Shack. As he treaded up the stairs, Dipper started singing obnoxiously loudly in a creepy tune. As an effect of spending several years dating a demon, the “melody” sounded more like a possessed chant, its purpose to summon the devils from the depths of hell. To anyone else, the tune was enough to send a chill through one’s bones. But obviously, the resonant song intrigued Bill, and as the demon listened closer, he realized that the only lines were, "You are so vulnerably haunting," and, "Your eeriness is terrifyingly irresistible,"
Bill wouldn't lie, he quite enjoyed the disturbing tune of the song, and liked it even more when he knew for certain that this song was about him. Dipper repeated the tune and lyrics again and again as Bill walked up the stairs until they were embedded into the demon's mind.
"Your eeriness is terrifyingly irresistibleee~" Dipper sang with drunken passion, his voice wobbly and loud. With one final unstable note, the brunette closed his eyes abruptly and passed out. Bill chuckled as he pushed open the old, wooden door to the Shack's attic and lightly tossed Dipper down onto their bed.
"Sweet dreams, opera singer," Bill sung in his own unnerving tune, pulling the thick blue blanket over Dipper and patting the brunette's fluffy hair.
Dipper awoke with a groggy feeling in his head, and rubbed away the drunkenness from his eyes with the heels of his hands. His mind was foggy and he struggled to recall what exactly had happened last night. Even though he couldn’t, he definitely knew there was some alcohol involved. Sitting up, Dipper looked to his left and was abruptly greeted by a cheerful face smiling wide at him, startling the young man out of his wits.
“Morning, opera singer!” Bill greeted cheerfully, relishing in the surprised cry that Dipper gave, “Got any more songs for me?”
Dipper stared back at Bill with a confused expression on his face. Still shocked from the excitable greeting, the brunette hesitated a while before asking.
“A.. song?”
“Sure, kid! The one you were singing last night!” Bill replied a little too gleefully, moving closer to Dipper to whisper into his ear with a chuckle, “You said my eeriness was terrifyingly irresistible,”
Dipper racked his brain for a memory of what happened the night before. He still couldn’t call up anything until Bill repeated the melody with the same lyrics. The brunette quickly hid his tomato-red face behind his hands, already remembering the song he sang last night.
“Ugh, Bill!” Dipper exclaimed, cringing at the teasing streak in the demon’s voice.
“Aw Pine Tree, don’t be shy!” Bill cooed jokingly, ruffling the brunette’s hair with a wide grin, “C’mon kid, sing for me!”
“Nooo,” Dipper wailed pitifully as he pulled the covers over his head. The young man’s face felt like it was burning, and it was as red as a tomato.
“I’ll make you,”
Although Dipper couldn’t see Bill, he could practically hear the smirk in said demon’s bantering tone. With a huff, the brunette threw the covers off of himself and scowled at his lover. The expressions between the two contrasted greatly, one a menacing glower and the other radiant with playfulness.
“You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”
Dipper didn’t come out of his room for a week after that. He stayed right there, spending the day just looking at the mirror; his tears had long dried, and now, he just had a dead and defeated expression on his face. He tiredly laid his head on his working desk, staring at the mirror shard. “Bill… Please talk to me…” He whispered hoarsly, tracing the edge of the mirror lovingly. He felt his eyes well up again. He thought he had run out of tears. Apparently, he had not.
A small tear rolled down his face and fell on the smooth surface of the glass. “Bill… Come back to me… Where are you? What happened?” He asked, choking back a sob as it was violently ripped from his throat. “B-Bill… Why don’t you say anything? Speak up…” He said as he began to cry. Gosh, he felt pathetic. Weak and pathetic. His body was lacking in the nutrition and sleep that it needed… But Dipper couldn’t sleep… He didn’t want to have nightmares of Bill being dead or leaving his side… He couldn’t even eat without throwing up…
Dipper’s tears continued to flow; each clear droplet dribbled down his cheek and fell. He felt miserable. He needed Bill. Now. He needed him badly… “B-Bill… I-If you don’t… If you don’t com-come back… R-Right now… I will… I will hurt myself… I will hurt myself…” He said, his voice choking up just a bit as he held the mirror shard on his wrist. Dipper cut his palm and watched as the blood stained the edge of the mirror. “I-I said… C-Come back right now… B-Bill… Stop me… Please… Stop me from doing this… Bill... you care… Bill, please come and stop me…”
Dipper called Bill’s name. His hands got shaky. His heart felt like it was being squeezed, and everything hurt so badly that the pain on his palm didn’t even register in his mind. He just wanted his lover to appear again. He was going to stupid lengths to get him to notice Dipper… If Bill still cared, then he would have stopped Dipper… If he still cared, then he would show up and scold Dipper for being stupid…
If he still cared…
If he was still alive…
The door of his room got unlocked and Dipper vaguely heard the sound of something shattering on the floor. He turned around weakly. “Mabel…?” He whispered, his eyes took a good look at his twin sister before he turned back. “Go away…” He said, not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. He didn’t even want to crawl out of the misery hole that he was in.
Mabel scowled angrily and stepped toward Dipper, taking his hand. “Oh my God, Dipper! Why did you hurt yourself?!” She exclaimed, a mixture of anger and sadness. Dipper snatched his hand back and cradled it close to his chest. “I don’t want to talk about it…” He said moodily, wiping his tears away hastily.
Mabel looked at him with an unreadable look for a moment before she sighed and sat down on a nearby chair. “It’s about that mirror, isn’t it?” She asked, frowning. Dipper was way too obsessed with it. And whoever that he claimed was on the other side of the mirror… She sighed. “Alright, fine, listen to me.” She said, taking Dipper’s hand gently and pointed toward the cut.
“If… If there was such a guy named Bill who lives on the other side of the mirror-“
“There is though! He-“
“Don’t interrupt me, Dipper. If there were a guy like that, and if he... loved you that much, do you think he would want you to die? Do you think he would want you to harm yourself or wallow in self-pity? Stand up, Dipper. Look at the outside world. Look at what you are missing. Be strong! Be the person that he would be proud of! Make theories. Be you again! Did he fall in love with a depressed boy? Or did he fall in love with the one that makes him smile?” she asked as she stared at Dipper hard and smacked his head upside down. “I’m going out to get you a new tray of food. And some bandages, too. Think about what I said.” She said. Oh. She had been trying to feed him for the last few days now… Dipper watched as Mabel left and stared at his hands. Was he really that bad? It hurt too much to move on, though. He didn’t want to move on… He wanted to keep Bill’s memories… He didn’t want to believe that Bill was dead…
Maybe Bill wasn’t even dead…
Dipper closed his eyes. Mabel was right, though. Bill wouldn’t want him to be like this… Bill would want him to be happy. Dipper wasn’t going to let go of Bill’s memories, but... he wasn’t going to be sad all the time… He couldn’t… He wanted to live for Bill, too. Dipper covered his face with his hands. “Oh Bill…” Dipper whispered...
This wouldn’t be an easy thing to heal from… Dipper wasn’t going to suddenly get better after Mabel’s talk… But it was a start. Bill might still be alive somewhere. Dipper just had to wait for him. One day, the mirror would shine again. And his lover would talk to him again.
It took Dipper about another two weeks until he seemed to be himself again. But even then, Dipper still had these nostalgic looks on his face at odd times, and he still held onto the mirror shard everywhere he went. Dipper stopped researching and making theories. That raised a red flag in everyone’s mind. Dipper still picked up the pen though… But it was for a totally different reason. He became a writer. He took his literature seriously. Everyone questioned him and why he would choose it. Dipper never answered. He didn’t need to explain what he was doing to anyone.
The first book that he published was a story book. It was called The Other Side of the Universe. It gained popularity quickly. It was a story about a faraway universe, with a boy who had adventures every day. It was a beautiful universe with steam machines, with smoke, oil, and shadows. It was a story about a universe where everything was dull and boring... everything but the boy. Dipper became famous with his story. He got interviews. People asked him questions. Why would he write such a story? Where did his inspiration come from?
Dipper always smiled gently and answered, “Oh, it came from someone I used to know.”
That was the exact answer he gave every time someone asked him. People made the assumption that Dipper was talking about a lover, but there was no lover when he dug up his history. Then people assumed Dipper was asexual, which was probably logical when one thought about it.
Dipper just laughed whenever he read an article about it. Strange enough, Dipper only went "gay" for Bill. He still found females attractive. He didn’t like males, though. No one interested him like his lover. He did try dating once or twice during college, with both genders, just to test and see if he could ever forget Bill. He couldn’t do it. Bill’s face always appeared in his mind. His quirks. His smiles. His eye. His warmth. No one could compare to Bill in Dipper’s mind.
Gradually, Dipper’s parents stopped pressuring him into finding a lover, because all their efforts were in vain. Dipper stayed single like that, until he reached 24, where he decided to adopt a child; a boy. He was named Dexter. A few years later, Dipper adopted another child, a girl this time. He named her Katrina. They were a family. Dipper was merely a single parent, but he did his job well. When looking at Dipper, no one could tell that he was unhappy. He seemed to have the perfect life.
But buried beneath it all lay an aching pain. A pain that no one but Dipper knew…
‘Bill… When would you come back? I have created our family… Only you are missing from the picture…’
Dipper often took his little children out to the park on sunny Sunday, letting them enjoy the fresh air and making new friends. His children were sweethearts, and Dipper loved them so very much. They brought joy to his world.
“Daddy?” Little Katrina called and Dipper turned toward her, patting her head gently. “What is it, dear?” He asked, taking out a tissue and wiped Dexter’s lips from the smear of ice cream, making his son’s face scrunch up in annoyance. He didn’t like being fussed over.
“Daddy, can you tell me about Papa? Why don’t we have a Mommy? Everyone at school has a Mommy…” Katrina said, pouting cutely, her lips puckered out as she tried to show how much she didn’t like the situation. Who was Papa? Why was he never here? Why didn’t he take care of Daddy when he cried?
“Daddy… Tell us a story about Papa…” Dexter spoke up, tugging on Dipper’s red flannel shirt. Dipper looked at his children; both of them were wearing identical, expectant looks. Dipper laughed. “Alright, alright, I suppose I can tell you a story about Papa,” he said, and pulled little Katrina onto his lap, gently running a hand through her hair.
“Papa’s name is Bill. He lives in a beautiful world beyond the mirror. His world is very strange and beautiful. It has machines that run on steam. Monsters this big.” He raised his hands to show how big the monster was, earning a squeal from his girl. Dipper chuckled. “But the monsters are kinda friendly. It has pretty flowers, too. There’s this mushroom that can glow in the dark. And there’s this flower called Snow Flower.” He continued to say, slipping into the memory of his lover. The story had happened much too long ago, but it had never been forgotten.
“He lived in a very big castle. When he was young, like you two, he was very mischievous, too. He would try to find a way to sneak out of the gate and pass all the guards to go play. There was this one time he discovered an injured bird. And he rescued it! Then you know what happened next?” Dipper asked, using his talent as a storyteller to tell the story to his kids. They both got excited as they leaned closer so they could listen to the story better.
Dipper told them about one of Bill’s adventures. In the children’s minds, Papa definitely existed. He just went somewhere far away and Daddy was waiting for him to come back to them. There had never been any doubts about Papa’s existence. After the story, Dexter punched both arms up the air. “WOAHHHH!!! Daddy! Daddy! Papa is so cool!” He said, admiring his Papa. He was so awesome!
Dipper chuckled and kissed Dexter’s forehead. “Oh yes he is. He is the coolest person that I know.” He said. He entertained his children a little bit more before he let them go play with the other children. He was happy. Dipper took out the mirror shard; the sharp edges had dulled over the years from how much Dipper had held it.
“Bill… Are you proud of our children?” He asked, gently stroking the mirror gently. Dipper still talked to Bill every day. He didn’t receive any replies, the cool mirror only stared back at him with harsh reality. Dipper never gave up though. He talked to Bill every day. He told him the story of his children. Of their children. He told them the day Dexter spoke his first word and the day that Katrina walked her first step.
“Dexter is going to grow up to be a mini you, you know. He likes adventures so much.” Dipper laughed softly. “He thinks of you like a big idol. If only he knew what a dork you are.” He said with a smile. “Katrina might be a little Mabel, though. She is too young.” He said. “I don’t know what you think, but I encourage our children to be who they are.” He said. A moment of silence passed and Dipper whispered, his voice dropped so low even if someone sat next to him they would have troubles making out the word.
“Bill… Talk to me… Please…” He said, his lips trembling for a moment. As usual, the only thing that heard his words was the mirror. No one replied. There was no light shining through the mirror.
A chill went down Dipper’s spine and he turned around to look. There was no one there. He covered his eyes when a gush of wind blew the leaves toward him.
“Bill?” He whispered, catching a leaf as it flew by, smiling gently. Definitely Bill. He was so playful all the time. Dipper laughed softly when the wind died down. Of course Bill would watch over their family. He was so silly to think that Bill would forget about them.
“I love you. Forever and always.”
I love you, too.
Dipper also told his children bedtime stories. “Once upon a time, in a strange world of steam machines and odd creatures, of things from nightmares, lived a man. He owned a special mirror. This mirror connected two universes together. They were as old as the universes themselves.” Dipper said. Katrina beamed. “Ooh, we're gonna hear another story about Papa, right?!” She cheered, looking all excited.
Dipper chuckled. Not quite. This was the story that he wished would happened… But it never did. “One day, the man touched the mirror and Bam, his hand went through it. Curious, the man decided to step through the mirror. He arrived to a strange world that he had never seen before.” He told his daughter. “There, he met another man. And they became friends.” He said, gently petting Katrina’s hair. His daughter pouted for a moment before she spoke up.
“Daddy? Can I see Papa’s mirror?” She asked. Dipper froze briefly at the request before he nodded and took out the shard. “Be careful, dear. It can be quite sharp.” He explained, reluctant to let go of the precious thing. Katrina’s hands gripped the mirror shard firmly.
“Papa! Come home soon! Daddy misses you a lot and I don’t like seeing him cry!” She said loudly and Dipper’s heart was flooded with an emotion he couldn’t quite identify. “And Katrina misses you, too! And Dexter misses you, too! So come back with us! Stop going on adventures!” She said and Dipper’s voice was clogged up. He couldn’t speak for a full minute. He gently took the mirror shard away.
“Shh, that’s quite enough.” He said, finishing the bedtime story before he pressed a kiss to his daughter’s cheek. “Good night, sweetheart. Daddy will see you tomorrow.” He said, and waved to his daughter before walking out of the room. He ran a hand through his hair, looking distressed. He was still hurting each time Katrina called out for Bill.
“Did you tell them a story about Bill again?” A voice asked and Dipper turned around. Oh, right. Mabel. She came by for a visit. “Yeah, I did.” He said softly. “Did you overhear it?” He asked, sitting down. He needed booze.
“Nope. But your face is all the answer I need.” His twin said. “Be brave, bro bro. He wouldn’t want to make you sad.” She said and Dipper gave her a look.
“Since when do you talk about Bill so freely? Don’t you think it’s a fragment of my demented mind?” He asked, a tad harsher than he should have. And he regretted it. But Mabel merely pressed on.
“No. I know he’s real.” The answer shocked Dipper greatly and he forgot the need for wine for a moment.
“What changed your mind?” He asked.
“You.” She answered simply, shrugging. “I have seen the way you talk about him. I've watched you for a long while now. Your eyes are always filled with love, and they always shine. Plus, I see the way you hold onto that mirror shard. I doubt it’s a fragment of your imagination. It wouldn’t be able to produce that kind of strong emotion from you.” She said. “I may not see him. Or talk to him. But I believe he’s real.” She said, gently.
A genuine smile appeared on Dipper’s lips. “Thank you.” He said, sincerely, and gave his twin a brief hug. He slipped a hand in his pocket and gave the mirror a squeeze.
"See, Bill? Another person believed that you exist. You are real."
Dipper talked with Mabel for a while before he bid her good night. He went upstairs and to the big but lonely bedroom. It was a king size bed. The size was always too big for Dipper, but Dipper never bothered to change it. He wanted to reserve a place for Bill. Everything he owned was in pair. He had a pair of coffee mugs, a pair of wedding rings, a pair of everything. He just put them there so when Bill came, he would have something to use. Dipper even filled up his wardrobe with clothes that Bill would enjoy. The fancy suits, The bow ties, etc
“Well, tonight has been tiring.” Dipper said to the mirror shard. “If you hear Katrina, don’t mind her. She’s just a child. She is impatient. I can wait.” He said, planting a kiss to the mirror. “I love you very much, Bill. Don’t worry about me. I will wait for you.” He said, placing the shard on the nightstand next to him. Dipper went to sleep, and imagined Bill sleeping next to him.
The years of childhood passed in peace, and the kids began to grow. That meant they began to have more questions… Questions that Dipper would rather not answer. “Dad… Papa doesn’t exist, does he?” Dexter asked one day as he dropped his schoolbag on the empty chair that was supposed to be Bill’s place. Dipper frowned.
“What are you talking about, Dex? He’s very much real.” Dipper said and Dexter frowned angrily, looking betrayed.
“You lied to us! He doesn’t exist! I looked it up! I looked up your story. You were never married and you didn’t know any Bill Cipher!” He said, pointing to Dipper’s face. “You were just lying to us so that we believe we have two parents. Guess what, I'm grown-up now! I know the truth! You didn’t ever marry! You big liar!” Dexter said angrily, all the hurt from the lies exploded. The teenager growled and ran upstairs. “I’m not eating dinner with a liar!"
Dipper froze with shock. His daughter just stared at him. “Dad… Is what Dexter said... true?” she asked softly; her voice was calm, but there was undeniable hurt there. Dipper felt his chest squeeze. So this was when they started not to believe in his words anymore.
The silence confirmed what Katrina needed to know and she stood up silently. “I don’t feel too hungry either… I think I will go up to my room now…” She said, and left. Dipper watched as his child’s back was turned against him. His eyes stung with tears.
“Bill…” Dipper whispered. “I don’t… I don’t know what to do.” He said softly, gripping the mirror shard in his hand. “B-Bill… Show up… Show up so that they can see you…” He said, his shoulders trembling. Bill was real… He was… How could their own children not believe that? How? He held the mirror shard to his chest, his heart aching badly. “Bill, give me strength…” He whispered, swallowing thickly. He wanted to believe that this was just a phase… But he knew better than that… Dipper looked at the mirror. “What would you do if you were me, Bill? Would you… Would you convince that I’m real? Or would you let them grow up not believing in me?” He asked. A tear fell on the mirror shard.
“Help me, Bill… I’m so... lonely.” He whispered.
He wanted Bill here so badly…
The children grew up, and they grew distanced from Dipper. They moved away. Dipper lived alone in a big house, with only a mirror to talk to. Mabel dropped by from time to time, but she had her own family to take care of. He was alone most of the time, and that was a horrible feeling.
Dipper was currently sitting on the couch, rubbing his knees. He was growing older… His knees hurt. His back hurt. He wished his children were here so that he could have someone to talk to. Talking to a mirror could only get him so far. Dipper gently rearranged the vase of Forget-Me-Not flowers, smiling gently as his hand brushed across a flower. True love. Memories. Faithfulness. This was the flower that described their love story.
“Hey, Bill… Our children are all grown-up now… I miss them a lot. Maybe I can visit them tomorrow. They won’t want me there a lot though… ‘cause I bring you with me everywhere, I guess. But I’m not about to leave you home alone.” He said, looking across the empty seat. He gently stroked the smooth surface of the cool mirror. “I wonder what you would do if you were here. Would you make breakfast and coffee for me?” He asked. “And rub my knees when they hurt?” He said.
Dipper laughed. “You would be an old man by now, I guess. Maybe I would be the one who had to do all this for your old ass.” He said, ending the laugh with a soft cough. “Our children are all grown up now. No need for two old men anymore, hmm..?” He asked. “You know, I would love to have you here so we can read newspapers together. I always imagine you wearing glasses when you get older.” He said, sighing softly.
He looked at the cold mirror. “Talk to me, Bill. You used to be so talkative. If you were more active, I probably wouldn’t have to visit my children’s homes out of loneliness. Maybe we could even have gross old man sex.” He smiled sadly. “Do you find me sad?” He asked. “Talking to a mirror and imagining that I’m talking to you?” He whispered. “Talk to me, Bill. If you talk to me, then I will stay home. Our children probably don’t want to be bothered by this old wrinkle anyway.” He said.
The mirror shard remained cruelly cold.
Dipper was on his dead bed. He let out weak puffs of air, knowing that his time had come. He was leaving this world… Oh, well; at least his children and their children were here. Mabel... wasn’t here any more, but he would meet her soon. He gently cupped his son’s cheek, seeking a bit of warmth. “Dexter, my son, I have told you many times before… When I die, I want to be buried with my mirror…” He said, earning a choked sob from Katrina and a scowl from Dexter. “You aren’t dying. And I’m not going to bury you with your damn mirror, so live, dammit.” He said. Dipper smiled.
Oh, he was so much like Bill, always trying to hide his emotions. Dipper’s hand dropped, and he turned to his crying daughter. “Katrina… I know you will be an amazing mother.” He said, placing a hand on her stomach. “You already are an amazing mother.” He smiled, sending a look to his small grandchildren. “Children, please don’t be too sad… I have lived a fulfilling life… I couldn’t meet your father in the end, but... I have you here by my side.” He said, his eyes closing briefly before they opened again.
“If your father ever comes here, tell him I’m sorry, but I can’t wait for him any longer.” He said, his hand dropped to his side. Dexter had to suppress a frown. Even when he was dying, his father still remembered his damned imaginary other father. “Jeez. Alright, alright.” Dexter said. “Rest, old man. But don’t you dare die.” He said.
Dipper just smiled. “Yeah, I think I will take a nap now… I’m really tired…” He said. He vaguely heard Katrina’s cry of "No, Dad, don’t leave me, I don’t know what to do without you!" but his eyes were already nearly shut.
“Hey.”
He heard an unfamiliar voice, and Dipper looked at the figure standing near the entrance door. Oh. Bill was here to take him already. Dipper smiled. Bill still looked the same. Like he hadn’t aged a day. Still young. Still beautiful. Still the charming soul that made Dipper’s heart flutter with love. “Are you here to take me away?” Dipper found himself asking.
Bill smiled. “Yes.” He said and Dipper believed him.
Dipper’s eyes snapped shut, and he took his last breath. His soul left his body, leaving behind a saddened family and a full life.
He walked toward Bill; with each step, his soul took a younger and younger form until he was the youthful teenager he had once been. Bill smiled at him. “I see that you have taken care of our family really well.” He said. Dipper blushed.
“Ha, well someone has to do that, since you wouldn’t.” He said.
Bill extended his hand.
“Will you be my friend?”
Dipper wasn’t hesitant to answer. “Yes.”
“Will you be my lover?”
“Yes.”
“Will you take my hand?”
A pause. Dipper turned around to look at his sobbing children as they tried to wake him up. He turned back to look at Bill, and reached out to take his hand.
“Yes.”
Together, the pair walked toward the beautiful blinding light, ending a beautiful, eternal love.
Death made them part before. May it never do them part again.
