#fluffy unicorns

[regrets-decison]

*cringes*

[lavalavalaura]

How my mind works:

me: hmm, I have too many gray shirts. Better brighten my wardrobe.

me: oooooh such a pretty shirt!......does it come in gray? 

It's like there's two of me and the absent minded side is running wild while the mature, supposedly rational side is like "I give up, do what you want."

[lavalavalaura]

Situational Musings (#1)

Sometimes I pretend I'm speaking with our dear fluffy unicorn, and I get in a writer's mood, so to speak (because I don't know what the actual phrasing or wording is.) and I get these random ideas for dialogues or happenings. Figure I'd jot them down and maybe someone can make some use of it somewhere in their fiction. Just be sure to tag me later!

[OFC] was sitting on a bench, enjoying the early morning when the park wasn't so busy and boisterous. She smiled at the birds chirping away, singing songs of love. She watched the squirrels bury their little acorns or chase each other up and down the big oak trees. The leaves were starting to drop and they left a delicious smell of autumn in the moist air. [OFC] pulled her sweater tighter around her, shutting out the cool breeze that tried to blow through her. She sat back against the bench, pulled out her favorite book [whatever you want it to be], and began again from where she left off last night. She didn't notice she wasn't alone anymore.

He saw her. Sitting on a bench alone on a peaceful, early fall morning. She seemed engrossed in the book she held in her hands, oblivious to the world around her. While normally he didn't  approach folks like that, there was something interesting about her. He approached the bench, sitting down gently so as not to startle the girl. When she didn't immediately look up, he cleared his throat to catch her attention. 

[ok, truth be told, I made all that shit up on the spot just now, I don't have any starting dialogue, so you guys are going to have to come up with that part, however, I do have this little nugget:]

"You still haven't asked me for my name," he mused. She closed her book and finally looked him in the face.

"You seem to be enjoying this conversation, and yet you don't give up your own name. Do you wish to relish in the satisfaction of me inquiring your name? Or are you gauging the level of interest I have for this conversation, and by my not asking for you name, I'm not interested?"

He chuckled. "What if it was a bit of both?" 

"Would you say that satisfaction is in your nature, dear, Hiddleston?" She asked, brow raised. There was a devilish grin on her face.

~FIN~

Soo yah. That's all I've gotten thus far. If you'd like to build a story around any of that, please let me know! I'd honestly hate to not be credited.

Toodles for now!

~L

[lavalavalaura]

"Unforgettable..."

Unless you're me. Seriously though, I don't seem to make any lasting impression on people. Which is mostly my fault, people aren't exactly my favorite. I have some favorite peoples, but humanity in general is such a drag. I engage in small talk, but it's usually forced to be sure I don't look like a raging twat. Just don't expect me to Facebook you later. 

I can muster up the nerve (and courage) to introduce myself to unfamiliars (as much as I disagree with myself; it's a constant battle of wills in here), smile, and be polite, and let people walk away thinking I'm super pleasant. But holy balls can no one remember my damn name. And it's not like the normal "Ah I'm just really bad with names", because aren't we all to some extent? If I make eye contact, I'm so focused on maintaining that, I don't even hear what the person is actually saying I'm like "remember to smile, nod, and look them in the face. You gotta look at them in the face, L, or they think you aren't paying attention". If (and when) I forget a person's name, I'll simply ask for it again, or look for a name tag somewhere on their person and ask for a business card. But time and time again, I'll introduce myself while wearing a nametag to reiterate what I just told them. And they still manage to call me something else. I find that a bit disrespectful. Because it says,"you told me your name, but I kind of forgot it, some I'm just going to throw something out there and hope I got it right." My boss hates that shit, too, so I'm know I'm not the only cunt here. 

Imagine going to an interview (and something similar actually happened this weekend) to a job in which you previously met the manager. You walk in, shake hands, and thank them for considering you for the position. But instead of saying their name, you blurt out something similar, but still not your name. "Morning, Tim! Thanks for seeing me on such short notice!" "Actually, it's Tom." He says, kind of disappointed you didn't remember his name, even though it was you who contacted  him. 

Imagine going on a wonderful date. You had a great time, s/he had a great time. You agree to see each other again. He walks you to your door, or you walk her to hers, or his (I don't fucking care, just go with me here), and you say "Oh I had lovely time with you tonight. Call me tomorrow?" "Sure thing. Have a nice night, Brenna." But her name is really Brenda. 

What I'm getting at is there is no excuse for blurting out the wrong name. It makes me feel like I don't really matter. I'm shaking hands with you because it's polite but I won't remember your name. I'll just call you sweetheart or darling or whatever pet name that's not 'sugar tits'. I believe that asking my name before and after a meeting signifies your attention to detail, and that you care about making connections. 

That's it. I'm done. I can't find anything else to add without constantly repeating myself. Not mad at folks not remembering my name, mad they make up shit to appease them. 

Toodles for now, my fluffy unicorns. Have a nice night!

~L

[lavalavalaura]

Fishing for (Quality) Compliments

Men are the best at giving compliments. They know just what to say to make you feel special and like a piece of shit in the same breath. Sometimes it is what you say that matters.

Take for example a very (seemingly) nice man that purchased gas yesterday afternoon. He was very friendly, a real people-person. Nice change from the ones who blatantly stare and drool. At least until he opened his mouth. 

I smiled as I told the man his change and handed it to him. It was the fake, customer service smile I had perfected after two long years of being in this place. It was a smile that fooled everyone if they didn’t look too closely.

"You have a beautiful smile," the customer said, beamng ear to ear. I smiled wider and thanked him, secretly wishing he would gather his merchandise faster and depart so I could continue putting away the day’s deliveries. Suddenly our store doorbell rang out, alerting me to the presence of yet another customer. I inwardly groaned. My fake smile was starting to strain my face.

The first customer looked over at the newcomer. He said,”She’s got a beautiful smile!” as he pointed at me. The new customer, another male, looked over at me and nodded in agreement.

"That could make someone’s day," he said slowly. I forced myself to smile harder as it was I who nodded in agreement this time.

"Such a gorgeous smile…could make a great wife someday!" said the first male. 

I stopped listening. Make a great wife? Is that all we are born for? To be some “lucky man’s wife”?! They continued to laugh and check if my hand held a stupid waste of metal and carbon. Upon finding out that I was not a wife, they exclaimed in unison “Not yet!” but I didn’t join in their conversation. My mind was already dulled, ignoring their quips, taking the second male’s money for gas while the first one left. I was quite offended.

It’s nearly 2015 and men still see women as things instead of people. We are scrutinized for our outward appearance if it does/does not stack up to a porn star or Victoria’s Secret model, we’re mocked if we choose not to give birth to demon spawn that is partly our future, and made to feel incompetent and inadequate when we want to take charge in a more powerful position. We’re reduced to just reproductive organs and usefulness to man. Shit has to stop.

I am more than a baby factory. I am more than the pair of tits that I carry on my chest. I am more than some man’s trophy to parade around with. I am more than the emotions I supposedly let rule my actions. I am a human being with goals, expectations, aspirations, and dreams. I am notjust a woman.

Times are changing. Young people want more out of life than family dynamics. I am one of those people. Children are not for everyone. Marriage isn’t for everyone. It’s not a typical thing anymore; there are more options, more choices to make. Don’t limit me based on why my body can provide. I have a mind, too. I have hopes just like any man does. The lack of a penis shouldn’t make us any different in that aspect. Respect me for what I am inside; look past my curves, my eyeliner, my naked fingers. I am a person. I am your equal. 

Well, hopefully that empowered someone somewhere. You are more than your gender. Don’t you forget that. Don’t let your gender define you. While it’s part of what and who you are, it’s not the basis of that. 

Toodles for now, Happy Hump Day.

~L

[awkward-artttt]

fluffy unicorns

[counselor-piper-mclean]

Is this even normal? *Runs towards the cabin door* MOM WHY?! 

[mellisblog]

Back again!

Here I am once again...*singing* I wasn't active for a long time. There were many things I had to cope with...and let's be honest: When you have to concentrate on the real life there is no space for Tumblr. But I missed it soooo damn much :/ Really have to get rid off my Tumblrdiction.