Lew can only sit on the floor as his limbs and body shake from the pain he is in. In the beginning when this form change happened, things were okay. As the hours past though, the pain he didn’t notice grew. It wasn’t until he was back home and alone, no one to focus on as the deadbeats did their own things, that the full force of pain hit him.
While angry, Lew doesn’t feel any pain while in this controlled form. Now as he is forced to stay in this form for several days, he feels the punishing pain. He thinks maybe, that this might be a sign that it would be better off without the control, but he snaps out of those thoughts pretty quickly. He does not want to hurt anyone he cares about when he gets angry.
The pain is great though. His scars feel new and hurt with even the slightest movement, sending jolts of pain all along his arms and legs. Some areas of his scars are leaking out the black blood that he and his twin alternate both share in common. It hurts to touch anything, it hurts to walk and move. Even his clothing brings pain as they irritate the scars they cover, though he is wearing a short sleeved shirt right now.
The areas of his skin where it’s cracked and peeling, feels like he is being burnt up. Ghost don’t normally feel temperature changes, only just pain from things being too hot or gold, but right now Lew feels the burning heat cracking his skin and turning it to ash. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the areas just kept to his smaller bones along his arms and legs, but the effect is also over his ribs and spine. At least the areas of skin with the discolorations don’t hurt, but that is only a minor relief when such large areas of his body are in constant burning pain.
Lew tears up as another wave of pain rolls through his body. The golden tears running down his discolored face, turning a murky color from the ash. The only part of his body not discolored is his neck, still the color of his regular skin, and the only pain there coming from the crisscrossing scars on the back of it. The ghost gasps out as another jolt of pain comes from his ribs, dark grey smoke leaving his mouth and smelling close to that of a crematorium.
The scent and pain cause Lew to see black spots, but he forces his black eyes to clear and tries to focus on getting through the rest of this without passing out. He thinks, thoughts slightly cloudy, that maybe his insides look the same as he does while in skeleton form. Maybe his bones are really being burnt away inside of himself? Maybe his blood is boiling like that black essence does while he is in skeleton form?
He doesn’t know, and his focus breaks as another waves of pain rocks through him, this time from his spine. The full body shudder this pain causes, makes the rest of him ache and scream in pain. Lew is only left to sit there, foul smelling smoke leaving his mouth in pained gasps and pants as he tries not to fall unconscious.
His glowing black eyes look at his heart, the cause of more pain, if emotional and mental. The red flame on the left side is burning brightly, boiling the area of heart under it. The red cracks shattering the right are glowing as more chips and pieces of his heart float away from the rest. The white center, as Lew looks at it with hazy vision, seems to him the core of his pain. As it seems to pulse with every jolt and wave of pain that runs through him.
Lew sits in the dark room, the only light coming from the white core of his heart and the red streaks of flame that travel up his arms and legs from time to time. The flames bringing back memories of when he was nearly consumed by his own flames, making it all the harder for him to focus on not giving out.
He is strong. He is a healer. His body is not going to give out from this. Lew will make sure of it. He will...
But there is so much pain... So much... Pain...
