August {III} Are You Sure?
Previous: August II
Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Smut
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Kissing, Making Out, Oral Sex, Consensual Safe Sex between 2, 18 Year Olds (it’s very clear), Talking About Sex, Birth Control, Swearing, Losing Virginities (antiquated I know)
Word Count: 6.7K
Summary: Two summers pass and each one gets steamier and steamier.
Notes: ARE WE FINALLY DONE WITH TEENAGE THEM? ALMOST.
Listen: August, Taylor Swift; The Last Great American Dynasty, Taylor Swift; I Think He Knows, Taylor Swift; Cinema, Harry Styles; Crush, Gavin Degraw
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead
Tag List
Master List
7 Summers Ago
You waited in the Adirondack chairs as the sun went down and the stars began to show. Your moms were at some dinner with both Kim’s at Bar Harbor, leaving you, EJ, Taehyung and both his siblings and yours to roam the beach. The younger Kim’s had been tucked in bed at 10PM, but left to play quietly on their ipads until their parents came home. EJ was too busy hooking up with Yoongi, who her parents somehow allowed to stay with them, and unsupervised, because EJ was most definitely not having sex. Which, wasn’t a total lie. She most definitely was having sex with Yoongi, oral sex, digit sex… all the sex that comes as foreplay before penetration. And she most definitely knew what it felt like to climax, a fleeting sensation you hadn’t yet explored.
It wasn’t for lack of trying, but lack of time. Too many activities, too much homework, too much to prepare for senior year. Your preliminary SAT and ACT scores were good, strong but could be better. They needed to be better if you wanted a shot at an Ivy. Extracurriculars and letters of rec would do a lot for you, plus the whole two-moms and being biracial was definitely going to help as well… but that was no guarantee an Ivy would care. You spent the first part of summer organizing the lists of schools to apply to, some state schools and public institutions, then listed the six Ivy’s you wanted to try and get into: Columbia, Brown, Yale, Princeton, Cornell and Dartmouth. And Stanford, the almost Ivy. In total you had twelve schools to apply to, twelve schools to impress, twelve schools to prove your worth.
“Hey,” a voice said behind you, and you knew without looking that Taehyung had finally cleaned up the kitchen from dinner and was coming to join you. “I stole this from my parents stash back home.”
You took the can of beer and stared at it.
“Underage drinking? Taehyung Kim who are you?” You asked.
“I thought it might be fun, drink it together then bury it in the recycling bin before my parents come home.”
“Okay,” you said and cracked the top. The first sip made you wince, why was beer so gross?
“Do you hate it?” He asked as he sipped. In his letters to you, he’d alluded to the fact that he’d gone to a party or two or five where drinking was happening. He made it clear that it was a means to an end, a way to prove he was cool and worthy of being at the party, but he usually filled a solo cup with water and pretended he’d snuck a pour of vodka from the freezer or liquor cabinet or wherever the parents of his peers hid their hard booze.
“Yeah, it’s nasty.” You looked at the label, not recognizing it and handed him the can again. He sipped and winced, too.
“So beer isn’t our drink.”
“It most certainly is not.”
“Good to know now so that next year we’re ready.”
“God, can we not talk about next year for like, ten minutes?” You begged.
“Of course. What are you taking this year?”
“AP Physics, AP Lit, APUSH, AP Studio Art. You?”
“AP Lit, APUSH, AP Chem and AP Calc.”
“Are we going to survive?”
“I doubt it.”
“Hey – you never wrote to me about Junior Prom. Did you ask that girl?”
“Girl?”
“Yeah, in your letters you made comments about having a crush with wide dark eyes and a smile that when it expands, reminds you of wings. You were totally crushing. Did you go to prom with them?”
“I uh – no. I didn’t go to prom with him.”
“Him?”
“Yeah, I think I’m bi, or pansexual… I’m not sure yet.”
“Oh, cool,” you shrugged. This was in fact not totally new information. “That’s why when I talked about how hot Seokjin’s become you agreed, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“He’s gotten hotter. I don’t know how that happened but it’s really fucking getting to me.”
“Whoa – swearing too? Has one sip let you loose?”
“Shut up!” You said swatting his arm.
“He is looking hot, so is Namjoon.”
“Yeah, they’re coming up for a week and bringing Hoseok and Yoongi which, seems unfair.”
“That they have a lot of hot friends?”
“Yeah, but I have you, and you’re like…. Hotter than all of them combined so it’s fine.”
“Shut up,” Taehyung said blushing.
“You’re a model, Kim.”
“So are you, Y/N.”
“Don’t,”
“What?”
“Lie. I’m no you,”
“You don’t have to be,” He said and leaned over the arm of his chair. “You’re perfectly you.”
You turned your head and leaned across to meet his lips. They were soft and patient, reminding you what it was like to kiss him like you had summers before.
“Did your prom date ask you to be his girlfriend?” Taehyung asked as he pulled away.
“No, we’re not a couple. I don’t really want to date him.”
“Why not? I thought he was interesting and considerate?”
“Yeah, he is, but you know,” you shrugged, allowing your sentence to hang. “I did get asked out by the captain of the varsity basketball team.”
“Oh? Did you say yes?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“He’s an idiot and his parents are republicans. You really think my moms would allow that?”
“That’s true. What if you fall in love at college?”
“That wasn’t even ten minutes!”
“Sorry, sorry!”
“It’s a moot point anyway, I’m kind of pining over someone. I guess I like the feeling of unrequited love a little too much to date.”
“You’re wise beyond your years, but don’t let that unrequited love dictate your future.”
“It’s not totally unrequited,” You said, knowing full well he understood you meant him.
“No, it’s not,” he leaned in again, this time kissing you with fervor and heat. “Can we go to yours?”
“Yeah,” you stood and took his hand, walking side by side into your cabin and to your bedroom. You shut the door, grateful that Max was crashing at Taehyung’s house with his siblings.
Taehyung kissed you as you turned around, lips moving in tandem with yours as his hands cupped your cheek. You’d both had practice since last summer, kissing other people. Taehyung had gone out with some girl his parents had set him up with, and you had gone on a few dates with a guy named Mark who was totally fine and it more fizzled than burned out.
“Can I,” Taehyung started, then sat back and looked at you.
“Take my shirt off?” You filled in his unasked question, because you had the same one.
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
It seemed like a natural progression, moving from kissing occasionally the summer before, okay and completely making out on more than one occasion, to this… to topless kissing and hands exploring. It was safe and it was comfortable, he was looking out for you and you were looking out for him. And, of course, it was Taehyung. Taehyung who you’d crushed on since you were fifteen… Your best friend, and you his.
It was all going, rather well, until you heard the front door open and footsteps getting louder and louder as they approached your door.
“Shit,” you muttered as you reached for your shirt and tossed it on. Taehyung did the same and sat on the floor, hoping his swollen lips and mussed hair wouldn’t give anything away.
“Y/N?” Your mama asked as she opened the door, her eyes widening as she saw Taehyung on your rug, legs crossed, and you sitting on your bed. “You know the rules.”
“I’m sorry,” you said quickly.
“I should go,” he said standing quickly. “Have a good night.”
“You too, and you, living room.”
Your mama didn’t need anytime going from cool and collected to angered parent. She did it so quickly it could give someone who was unfamiliar with her reactions whiplash.
“Jackie!” she called.
“Yes? Y/N, why are you up?”
“It’s 10pm, it’s not that late.” You countered.
“Don’t you have work in the morning?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Taehyung was here,” mama said. “In her room, with the door closed.”
“Y/N!” Mom said.
Your hands shot up, defending yourself. “I’m sorry!”
“I thought we had an understanding, no closed doors, no boys in the house when we’re not here,” your mom said.
“I know,” you said.
“Do we need to buy condoms?” She asked.
“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, blushing furiously.
“Well, you’re not on birth control, and you’re having a boy in your room with the door closed. Do we need to buy protection for you?” Mama asked, clearly and with a hint of fear that you, her precious daughter was becoming sexually active.
“I don’t think so.”
“But you might need them this summer?”
“I – I don’t know,” you answered sheepishly.
“We wanted to get you on birth control before college,” Mom said.
“You do?”
“Yes, you never know what could happen. The world isn’t a safe place and it’s better to be protected than to be vulnerable. But we didn’t expect, I guess we should’ve,” mama sat down, exhaling loudly.
“You know the risks, of sex before you’re on the pill or have an IUD?”
You nodded.
“Verbal confirmation please,” Mama requested.
“Yes,” you said clearly.
“Even with condoms, they are not –
“I know.”
“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation,” Mom muttered.
“Yeah, I had health. Remember I got an A?” You replied, regretting the snark you’d chosen for that question. You watched as your mom rolled her eyes and your mama shook her head.
“Of course, you did, but taking a class and having it be your reality are very different things.” Mom said.
“I’m sorry I broke the rules.” You apologized.
“Is EJ having sex?” Mama asked.
“Mama!”
“It’s a valid question, dating that older boy,” Mom said.
“No, she’s really scared that because he’s older, if something happens her parents will like totally wig out.”
“Makes sense.”
“I would be worried.”
“Well luckily Taehyung turns eighteen a few months after I do,” you said. They knew, how could they not? You scrambled from the day your birthday was over all the way until his trying to find the perfect gift and mail it on time. They’d been watching you, and taking you to the post office, for years now.
“Right, but now you’re seventeen, so can you please promise us, you won’t do anything drastic until you’re eighteen?”
You thought about it, what was a few months? But in a few weeks Taehyung would be back in his home and you would be in yours, and you couldn’t… you didn’t want to take that next step with some guy from school. Ew. No, if you were going to do it before college it would have to wait until next summer. Then you’d be protected, right?
“Okay,” You grumbled.
“I would like that in writing,” Mama said.
“Oh Teresa, stop,” mom chuckled. “I’ll draft it in the morning.”
“You know this is how teens end up pregnant, celibacy pacts,” you reminded them.
“We could take her to the urgent care and get it,” Mama offered.
“She could have side effects, what if she starts the wrong one and has a bad reaction? I’d rather take her to her pediatrician and go over options and make an educated decision instead of just shoving the pill on her.”
“Hello?” You asked. “Can I be a part of this conversation?”
“Of course, honey,” mom said.
“I want an IUD. I’ve done the research, and yes they hurt and are more expensive, but they offer the best protection from unwanted pregnancy for the longest time. I want, I want that.”
“She is our daughter after all,” mama commented.
“Okay, when we get back we’ll take you to your doctor,” mom decided. “And you’re grounded for the week, no seeing Taehyung except at work.”
You arrived to the mall and sat at the empty picnic table that awaited weary workers before and after their shifts. But you weren’t alone for long, because EJ, having the day off, came to support you on your first day back.
“Yo,” she said sitting down. “You will not believe what I heard.”
“So, I think I’m going to start birth control,” you whispered, pulling EJ closer to you.
“What?” she yelled, directly into your ear.
“Yeah, my parents walked in on me and Taehyung last night and they wanted me to start before college but they’re gonna start it now.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yeah, I think so? I mean, I only want to have sex with Tae, but we can’t this summer because my moms will ground me every day if I do.”
“Oh my god did they make you sign a virgin pact?”
“Yeah, and they asked if you’re having sex with Yoongi.”
“I’m assuming you lied.”
“Of course.”
“Good, my mom doesn’t need to know anything. So you’re grounded this week?”
“Yeah, because he was in my room with the door shut.”
“Oh my god, ladies!” Clara exclaimed as she came up to the table, smile on her face, new summer clipboard in her hand.
“Hi Clara,” EJ and you grumbled.
“EJ, aren’t you supposed to be at Pirate’s Treasure Chest?”
“I have today off.”
“Oh, well you’ll both be excited to hear that you, Y/N, are officially moved to the candy section and out of ice cream!”
You stared at her, unsure why that was exciting news. Ice cream was difficult, sure, but to deal with all those customers? No thank you.
“Why?”
“It’s because she got hot, isn’t it?” EJ asked Clara.
“Oh my god,” you slapped her arm. The sound echoed in the near empty strip behind the stores. “This isn’t a YA summer romance, I didn’t just get hot over the school year and no one noticed.”
“You sure?” EJ asked. “I know someone who has been thinking about you.”
“Who?” Clara asked, then realized she wasn’t part of the conversation. “Anyway, your shift starts in five. Have you seen your boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend?” You asked in confusion.
“Taehyung, duh,” she said.
“Oh, he’s probably out front, waiting for you to let him in.”
“He wasn’t when I walked in but I’ll go double check. I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you as his work wife again.”
Clara turned and used her key to get into the back room of the candy store, ponytail swaying and bopping as she walked. She clearly hadn’t changed in the year since you saw her.
“She’s gonna be prom queen, isn’t she?”
“Then marry a republican senator and eventually stand by him when his sex scandal breaks.”
“Yikes,” you sighed. “So who has been talking about me?”
“I’m sworn to secrecy,” EJ teased.
“You’re the worst.”
“Hey, EJ!” Taehyung appeared from the door Clara just entered, big smile on his lips.
“Hi,” she said – they had been spending plenty of time together this summer before you arrived. A fact that made you insanely jealous. But you got EJ all school year, and you got Taehyung… well in ways EJ never would.
“Y/N we gotta wash up and then I’m training you on candy,” he informed you.
“Great, you gonna be a drill sergeant?” You asked.
“That’s are you going to be a drill sergeant, sir, to you,” Taehyung winked, waved to EJ and disappeared back into the shop.
“He likes you,” EJ said.
“Considering we were topless making out on my couch, I’d say yes, he does like me.”
“And you like him,”
“He’s fine.”
“Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t pine after him all school year, hoping he’ll make some long distance move and you’ll be together.”
“I like the hope of him, never quite turning into anything real. It’s, fun. It’s breezy.”
“It stops you from going out with other people,” EJ reminded you.
“Who wants to date me back home anyway? No one.”
“That’s not true.”
“Whatever. When do Seokjin and Namjoon get here?”
“Tomorrow night. They said they wanted to give us one night together until they steal you away and ruin your summer.”
“I hate that they enjoy college but not enough to stay there all summer,” you said as you stood and collected your items.
“Same. I don’t miss them at all,” EJ lied. “I’ll come by at one and we’ll bike home?”
“I’m grounded remember?”
“Yeah, from Taehyung, not me.”
She was right, your moms had no problem when you rode up to the house with EJ next to you, or when she came in, gave them a hug and collapsed on the couch, ready to watch TV or play games.
“Go swimming,” Mama said as she came out of the kitchen to stare at you and EJ. “Please, not in the house.”
“Fine,” you groaned and changed quickly into your swimsuit.
EJ was already outside, at the end of the dock, applying sunscreen to her arms and legs. You walked out and let her slather your back in the white concoction before doing the same to hers.
“Are your moms really that mad?”
“I don’t know, but I know they’re going to regret grounding me.”
“Why?”
“I’m so much more annoying when I can’t see Taehyung than when I can.”
“That’s true, I can confirm that,” EJ laughed. She took the first jump, spinning and plummeting into the water. You followed suit, jumping in after her and laughing as you came up for air.
“I think he dates other people during the school year,” you confided, your suspicion more an idea and a thought than an actual reality.
“You do? Wouldn’t he mention it in your letters?”
“I don’t know that he would. It took him until I asked yesterday to find out about prom. He’s allusive.”
“In like, a hot way.”
“Yeah, I mean he’s the hottest man I’ve ever se –
Something wrapped around your ankle and in a swift motion pulled you under. As water filled your nose you began to fling your arms wildly, trying to hit whatever it was that had gotten to you. It’s a lake, there isn’t anything more than fish, ducks and microscopic living organisms. Nothing with a grip that could take you down. You kicked your legs, almost making contact with whatever it was as the grip released you, sending you up to the top of the water gasping for air.
“What the fuck?” You yelled, eyes wild as you tried to land on whoever or whatever it was that had gotten you.
You heard the laughter before you saw the face, popping out a few yards away from you, broad shoulders and symmetrical face, his windshield wiper laugh was like no ones you’d heard, besides coming from him. He was in hysterics, laughing heartily as he watched your panic turn into blind rage. EJ laughed too, because of course she had been in on it.
“She hates you,” another voice came from the dock across from yours, and you glared at Namjoon.
“She’s in shock, leave her alone,” Yoongi, decked out in full sun shirt and leggings, said as he sat down and dipped his pale feet into the cool water.
“I fucking hate you, Seokjin Kim.” You yelled before climbing up the ladder on your dock. “None of you fucking talk to me.”
As you stomped back into your house, you could hear Seokjin calling your name.
“It was a joke! I’m sorry!” Seokjin called.
“I told you it was a dick move,” Namjoon said before he jumped into the water, splashing Yoongi.
“I thought Hoseok was coming with you?” EJ asked them.
“He’s changing still,” Yoongi answered.
“He didn’t want to be a part of this,” Namjoon told his sister.
“Of course not, you guys are assholes.”
“You helped!”
“All I did was get her in the water, I thought you were just going to be floating, not try and drown her.”
“Whatever, it was a great prank,” Seokjin said.
“You are going to really have to apologize to her,” Namjoon told his twin.
“I know,” Seokjin regretted the prank almost immediately after he saw your face. He had expected you to be surprised, but he thought maybe you’d be happy he was there, happy he’d come up a day early to hang out with you and his sister. That he took some time in his busy summer, he’s working as an undergrad researcher at Northwestern all summer, to come up to the lake and be with his family. But no, you’re pissed at him, and he knows you, it’s going to last a while if he doesn’t apologize correctly.
Seokjin hops out of the lake, having used his large wingspan and strength to pull himself up and out of the water. He stalks down your dock before turning on the sand and going to the one person’s house who will know what to do: Taehyung.
“Why did you think that was a good idea?” Taehyung asked, sitting in his living room with a can of sugar free root beer in his hand.
“I thought she’d be more excited to see me than she would be mad.”
“Why would she be excited to see you?”
“I don’t know! I haven’t seen her since Christmas. I didn’t come home for spring break, I thought maybe she’d be –
“Excited,”
“Yeah, to see me.”
“And not Namjoon?”
“Who is excited to see Namjoon except his professors?” Jin asked.
“I’d guess you, I mean he’s in Boston and you’re in Chicago for the year, don’t you miss him?”
“That’s not the point of this. How do I apologize?”
“Write her a letter.”
Seokjin wasn’t convinced. “A letter?”
“A letter. And get her favorite chocolates and candies. Be sincere, but not patronizing.”
“I can do those things.”
“Write it in your best handwriting, she cares about penmanship even though hers looks like she’s nine years old.”
“Okay, anything else?”
“Don’t like to her, or make up something about why you did it. Be honest,” Taehyung said.
“Did EJ say something to you?” He asked.
“Uh, no? Should she have?” It was Taehyung’s turn to be confused about the conversation transpiring between them.
"No, no, she just talks a lot for someone who knows so little. Anyway,” Jin said standing. “Thanks.”
“Why do you care so much?” Yoongi asked that evening over dinner, where Mr. & Mrs. Kim were less than impressed with their eldest son’s prank.
“She’s like my second sister, I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Told you,” Namjoon muttered.
“You shouldn’t have, what if she hurt you? Or you hurt her?”
“She was only under for maybe ten seconds,” Jin said. “I had a loose grip on her and let her go quickly.”
“Ten seconds is still enough to do damage to an unsuspecting person,” Mrs. Kim scolded. “Honestly Jin, you know better.”
“I’m working on my apology!” He said defensively.
“We ought to ground you for your foolery but you’re an adult, and that would be embarrassing for both of us.” Mr. Kim said.
“Sorry for being a disappointment.”
“You are not a disappointment,” Mrs. Kim told him. “You just behaved like you’re fifteen, which frankly is an age we are glad to be past.”
“Nothing was as bad as Namjoon at thirteen,” EJ piped in. “Do you remember?”
“The time he kicked the hole in the wall? How could we forget,” Mr. Kim laughed.
“You did what?” Hoseok asked, turning to stare at his friend.
“It was an accident.”
“An accident was EJ putting stickers on her bedroom door. No, you knew what you were doing,” Mrs. Kim said.
“I hate this family,” Namjoon groaned.
“Honestly, same,” Seokjin said, meeting his twin’s gaze.
He didn’t tell Taehyung that he had missed his brother during their time apart for college. He always missed him when they were apart. They’re twins, it’s part of their dna and make up to be completely locked into the other. It was terrible, freshman year, being separated for the first time, and for a long time. Neither came home for Thanksgiving, but thankfully Namjoon went to Chicago to stay with Jin. They both went home for Christmas and at Spring Break the entire family, even EJ who wasn’t on break yet, went to France. But there were still long and lonely hours. Seokjin didn’t take to making friends quite as easily as his brother, and he missed having a guaranteed companion. Not to mention Yoongi was still in state, and Hoseok was in New York and could see Joon more frequently. Phone calls and texting did little to fill the void, and Jin really regretted, at least the first few months, that he’d turned down the option of going to Northeastern with his brother.
“I think we’re great,” EJ said as she finished the last of her grilled asparagus, and smiled at Yoongi who happily grinned back.
“You have to talk to him,” Mama said the next day as you avoided spending time with EJ or listening to Seokjin.
“I do not. He made a dick move and I don’t have to forgive him yet.”
“Doesn’t she have consequences for swearing?” Max asked as he ate his cereal. Finally old enough to work, he’d scored a job at Gunner’s Golf Pros caddying and working the snack shack.
“She’s already grounded,” mom reminded him.
“Yeah, but she still gets to hang out with EJ and Taehyung at work. How is that even a punishment?”
“Because she really wants to spend time with Taehyung, who she only sees for a month out of the year. Imagine you had a friend like that and mom and I said you couldn’t see them? How would you feel?”
“Max doesn’t have friends,” you commented.
“Why are you so mean to me?”
“I love you, that’s why.”
“Okay, love and being mean do not equal each other,” Mama said.
“We know,” Max and you said in unison.
“Please, Seokjin has been texting for weeks asking when we’re having a family bbq and now you won’t speak to him. Maybe he’s trying to say he’s sorry the only way he knows how.”
“By being obnoxious?” You asked.
“By being genuine and authentic.” Mom said.
You shrugged, staring at the last remaining pieces of your cereal, floating helplessly in the oat milk of your bowl. “I don’t know why he’s being either.”
“He’s a sweet boy, well, young man.” Mama said.
“He’s fine.”
“Have you noticed how handsome he’s gotten?” Mom asked.
“Can we please not discuss Seokjin has attractive?” Max requested.
“Yeah, that’s gross,” you agreed.
A knock hit your front door and Max ran off to get it. You could hear him a little, and recognized the deeper voice speaking to him as Seokjin’s. You rolled your eyes because of course that asshole would show up at your door, unannounced and want to speak with you. Wasn’t he supposed to be sleeping in?
“Here,” Max said, handing you an envelope with your name written in pretty hand lettering, most likely done by EJ.
“What?”
“It’s from Jin. He wants you to read it.”
“Why?” You asked him.
“I don’t know, he just said to give it to you, and this,” Max passed you a large bag of candy, which made no sense, how had he gotten into The Confectioners Corner before it was open? Let alone known to buy your favorites?
“He’s doing this on purpose,” you declared.
“What is he doing, honey?” Mama asked.
“He’s trying to get me to think about him all day. Either I read this letter now and think about it all day, or I don’t read it and think about what it could say until my double shift is over and I can come home and read it.”
“Which one is worse?”
“Not knowing,” you answered quickly.
“So go read it and then get on that bike and go to work,” mom said.
You raced to your bedroom and carefuly opened the letter. Inside was a piece of stationary that was clearly EJ’s.
Dear Y/N,
I’m so sorry I scared you yesterday in the water. I wanted to have a bit of fun with you, remind you of the fun we had before I went to college. I think I was feeling insecure about how you’d feel, seeing Namjoon and me after we’d been away for so long. You’re like another sister to me, and I missed you. God that sounds pathetic, but you’re a family member so it’s true. I’m sorry I scared you… I was feeling nostalgic for the times we used to – well I guess the times Joonie and I would tease you or chase you around probably were hell for you… sorry for those too.
Forgive me? Please?
XX,
Jin
You laughed as you read the letter again and again. What a little dork. You took your cellphone out of your pocket and texted Seokjin.
You: you loser
Jin: did you read it?
You: yeah, I did. Thanks for the candy.
Jin: do you forgive me?
You: I’ll think about it while I’m at work
Jin: that works for me
You: for what it’s worth, I missed you too. but if you tell anyone I said that I will deny it and say Max got to my phone and texted you
Jin: glad to know you only admit you care about me under threat
You: Well you only said you missed me because you embarrassed your parents
Jin: how’d you know?
You: You’re sister has been my best friend since birth, idiot
Jin: why are you so mean to me?
You: I am not
Jin: you’d never call Joon an idiot
You: he’s smarter
Jin: I did better on my SATs
You: whatever
Jin: don’t you have a job to get to?
You: Yeah – I’ll see you later
Jin: and you’ll forgive me, too?
You: we’ll see
6 Summers Ago
“Are you sure?” Taehyung asked the following year on July 31st, as he lay next to you on your bed.
“Yeah, are you?”
“I am if you are…. I wanted it to be with you.”
“Yeah? Me too,” you whispered, then kissed him quickly as your shaking hands moved down to unbutton his shorts. You could feel him against your hand, hardening as your body somehow moved with his.
“Do you have –
“Yeah and I got an IUD so we’re like, super safe.”
The idea of losing your virginities to each other had come from well…. Both of you. In letters traded over the school year, you’d discussed how far you’d gone in your hook ups with each other. The wandering hands, the temptation to go farther, the burning want that took over both your bodies whenever you were together. Taehyung wanted you, all of you, and you wanted him too. But you’d promised you wouldn’t do anything, not just with Taehyung, but with any boy until you were 18. A weird pact your moms wanted you to agree to in case you somehow slipped up last summer. You hadn’t, and during the year your want to explore sex with someone you trusted grew and grew and finally, you mentioned sex to Taehyung. He too was growing in curiosity, but had more access to porn and dirty magazines than you did. He was curious, but only if he could be curious with you.
Your theory of him dating people during the school year was squashed, he wasn’t dating anyone, just quietly pining over someone he couldn’t ever really have… and of course you knew that to be you.
“Can I, can I touch you?” You whispered.
Your moms had let you come up a day early to get ready before starting work, with a double shift, tomorrow, August 1st. Taehyung had been up at Lake Augusta for a while, like always, and waited for you outside your cabin when you drove up.
What started as a hug hello soon became a heavy make out on your bed, which led to shirts (and a bra) being tugged off as his hands, consensually, worked to explore you.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding. You watched him carefully as you slid your hand down his exposed torso, unintentionally teasing him as you caught the bearings of his body. How soft his skin was, how toned his stomach felt and yet still remained soft. You’d seen him shirtless before, but this was totally different. Your hand continued down, dipping into the hem of his shorts and finding purchase on his hardening cock, a sensation you had never experienced before. Slowly, like EJ had taught you, you began to stroke him up and down, eyes not leaving his face as he fluttered his shut. His little moans were encouraging, as was the precum dripping from his tip. You wanted him. Your body was telling you how deeply you wanted him, and his was pleading with you for more. You picked up your speed, and Taehyung thought he could see stars.
“Wait,” He said, taking your hand from him and holding it to his chest.
“What? Did I do something wrong?” You asked.
“No, I just… I think I’m going to come if you keep doing that and I’d really like to you know, come inside you,” he muttered the end of his sentence, embarrassed by his own desire.
“Oh! Okay, I don’t know, I think I’m ready?” You asked, assessing how your body was feeling.
“Lay back,” he said. “Can I take these off?”
Taehyung trailed his fingers across the hem of your underwear, waiting for you to give him permission.
“Yeah,” you said and held your breath. He was the first boy to see you…. naked. And exposed.
His hands were delicate as they pulled the cotton down and tossed them into a pile with your sun dress. He parted your legs with his hands and knelt in front of your cunt. Fingers lithe and gentle, he stroked between your lips, feeling the soft warmness of them, and admiring the liquid wetness that coated his fingers.
“Yeah, but like, I can maybe put a finger in, or two before?” He asked. You nodded, having read about fingering and heard about it from EJ. She was so excited for you to finally have sex, as she and Yoongi had started immediately after she turned 18. Taehyung nodded and using his other hand, held your legs open. He gently eased a finger into you, listening as you gasped and adjusted to it. Slowly pumping in and out, your body adjusted quickly to the sensation.
“More,” you muttered, a moan leaving behind it.
“Okay,” he nodded, eyes fascinated by how your body was moving. He inserted his middle finger too.
“Gentle,” you said, feeling more of a stretch with his two fingers than you had before.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” the firmness of your voice surprised you both, but your eyes told him the truth, you were really enjoying this.
He continued to pump in and out of you until he felt like he might explode from the sounds you were making and the sight of you before him. He carefully pulled his fingers out and did, what you thought could possibly be the most insane act, he licked them.
“Oh my god, why did you do that? We’re on a towel!” You scolded.
“I was curious. You know a lot of people like to eat –
“Don’t say the p- word.”
“Fine, a lot of people do oral sex before they have penetrative sex. We haven’t done that, so I was curious what you tasted like.”
He was so matter of fact about everything.
“What do I taste like?” You asked, dreading the answer.
“I don’t know how to describe it, but you taste like you.”
“Not like pineapple, or sweet or gross?”
“No, just like you. I don’t know how else to describe it. Do you want to –
“No thank you.”
“Condom?” He asked, and watched as you reached into your bag, which had been lugged up because it contained contraband, and pulled out a fresh pack.
“Moms said I’d probably need it this summer so,” you shrugged nervously and watched as Taehyung opened the box, pulled out a foil and tore it open. He stood to take off his pants and while he stood, fully naked and unashamed, slipped the condom over himself.
“How’d you?”
“Health class, lots of cucumbers and bananas, lots of practice.”
“Oh,” you said, shocked a school was that comprehensive. He crawled back over you, and separated your legs to slate between them.
“Are you sure?” He asked again.
“I am. Yes. Are you?”
“Yeah, fuck yeah I am,” he said, blushing at his use of profanity.
“Go slow,” you instructed, and watched as he lined himself up with your entrance. You figured it was probably good he had fingered you, that way he knew where he was meant to be.
It burned, gently, as he slowly inched himself further and further into you. You winced, eyes closed, face screwed up into a pained expression as he fully sheathed himself in you. He didn’t move, he barely breathed, as Taehyung waited for you to say something, anything.
“Move, slowly please,” You said, and he did so, gently pumping himself in and out of you.
“Oh my god,” Taehyung said into your ear. He finally got it, why every guy viewed sex as this godly experience he was just waiting to have. He imagined they felt that way because it was sex, and from the thirty seconds of it he’d had, he was feeling that way too. But maybe all his friends, or people in magazines, had had their first time with someone they deeply loved and cared about, like he was.
“Oh my god,” you muttered as the pain eased and pleasure took over. He felt, good? That’s what sex is supposed to feel, good?
“Yeah?” He asked, unsure what your oh my god meant.
“Yeah, it feels good.”
“I’m not - I’m not going to last much,” he said as his breath became more panicked and sputtered.
“That’s okay,” you said, having done your homework on the male experience.
“Okay, because I’m going to –
Taehyung didn’t have much time to finish his sentence as he gave one final thrust and came. You laid, with him on top of you, for a moment while he collected himself.
“Shit,” he said, and as he pulled out of you, he took off the condom and tied it before dropping it in your garbage can. “Keep your legs open.”
“Why?” You wondered, staring up at his glorious form.
“I’m going to go down on you. Why should I be the only one that comes?”
“Do you feel like, changed?” Taehyung asked as you sat on the Adirondack chairs, sipping a homemade vanilla milkshake.
“Uh, ask me tomorrow when I’ve had time to process,” you said.
“That’s fair.”
“Are you nervous?” You asked, glancing sideways at him.
“For college?”
“Yeah, for USC, big shot.”
“Completely. Are you?” He asked.
“For Columbia? Yeah, New York is scary and big and so far away. Why am I doing this? I ask myself that every day.” You shared.
“You’re going to be incredible,” Taehyung assured.
“I don’t know about that, but I’ll figure it out.”
“You will, I guess I will too?”
“You have to, we both have to. We’re the oldest, we can’t fuck up.” You remind him.
“That’s true.”
“At least we have one thing checked off our lists.”
“Are there more?” He asked.
“Yeah, I think we’ve got a few more to complete before summer ends.”
“More repeats of tonight though, right?” He smirked.
“Oh definitely, we definitely need more practice.” You blushed as you finished your milkshake. “I’m glad it was with you.”
“You’re the only one,” Taehyung said, like above all else, no matter what happened the next year at college, you were bound by bodily fluid and something like love, to this moment, and to each other.
Next: August IV