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taste of home

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Malavai Quinn tried to avoid the officers’ mess hall when he could. Even though there were only about half a dozen officers that shared the space he preferred to eat in solitude back in his office. But every so often, he needed to restock his ration stash. And of course, there were those rare days when fresh supplies were imported to Balmorra directly from the Empire’s core. Those days he’d let himself indulge a bit and grab some fresh fruit or even stay in the mess’ kitchen long enough to cook something resembling a proper meal.

He made his way to the officers’ mess and sifted through the various flavor and texture options when Major Bessiker called out to him.

“Ah, Lieutenant!”

Quinn pulled his hand back before he got anything. “Major,” he replied with a curt nod.

“Stocking up again?”

“Naturally.”

“You should join us more often.”

Major Pirrell walked in with a miserable look on his face. “Oh don’t bother, Bessiker. You know how he is. Always too busy.”

Maintaining a neutral expression Quinn simply looked at Bessiker. “Apologies, but Major Pirrell is correct. I have much to do for the war effort here, and I can improve my productivity by—”

“Don’t be such a shut in, Quinn!” Bessiker said with a warm smile.

Pirrell merely scoffed while grabbing a cup of caf for the morning.

“Besides,” Bessiker continued, “A crate of fresh food coming in today, straight from Dromund Kaas!”

“Really?” Quinn and Pirrell asked in unison.

Quinn thought for a moment. “But there isn’t a delivery scheduled for another—”

“It’s for a special occasion!” Bessiker practically radiated with joy. Which, given the damn planet they were all stuck on, was quite odd.

Drawing in a deep breath Quinn turned back to the assortment of rations. “Thank you for the offer but—”

“No, no! I insist,” Bessiker pressed on.

Pirrell took a sip from his caf. “Take a hint. The man’s not interested.”

“Oh but he will be. And so will you! In fact, I’m inviting all the officers in Sobrik for this occasion!” Bessiker smiled and laughed, “Don’t make me turn this into an order, Lieutenant.”

Quinn groaned inwardly but held his head high with respect. “Of course. If you insist, sir.”

“Wait.” Pirrell paused for a moment, no doubt waiting for the effects of the caf to kick in. “All of the officers? Does that include—”

“Colonel Sartius? Yes.”

Pirrell groaned loudly, rolling his eyes. “Well now I’m not—”

“For the love of the Emperor, you can handle one eve—”

Quinn cleared his throat. “If you’ll excuse me, Majors.” With his rations in hand Quinn left the two to continue with their bickering.

It was nearly 34:00, local time, when Quinn returned to the officers’ mess. It seemed that he was the first to arrive aside from Major Bessiker who was pulling foodstuffs out of a delivery crate.

Quinn gave a quiet cough. “I assume the others will be joining us soon?”

“Lieutenant!” Bessiker motioned Quinn toward the crate. “Give me a hand won’t you?”

“Of course.” Quinn began rummaging through the various items: fresh zinjer, coolumbers, a jar of cranonut oil, a package of two-striped skal fish, napani leaves, cerulean river blossoms, totomo fronds, churtuma powder, and a 10kg bag of Kaasi rice just to name a few. Each item he held with a sort of reverence, looking over the packaging and reading the labels. Sure enough, everything in the crate came from high end food companies on Dromund Kaas, the kinds that would often supply restaurants with Sith clientele.

Quinn eventually pulled out a stack of thin boxes wrapped in light, ornate cloth. “What are these?”

“Those are mirbans, for dessert. There should be more than enough for everyone to take a box.”

“Mirbans? But Bloom Feast isn’t until much later in the Kaasi year.”

Bessiker waved him off. “Yes, yes. That’s true, but that particular steamery is one of a handful that makes mirbans all year round. And trust me lieutenant, I had some the last time I was on leave and it was simply divine.”

“I see…” Quinn placed the various chilis, fresh and dried, on the nearby counter. “If I may ask, what is the occasion for celebration?”

“My son!” Bessiker exclaimed, “He just got accepted to the Sith Academy on Korriban!”

Quinn paused for a moment before hauling out the heavy bag of rice. “That’s quite an accomplishment. My cong—”

Pirrell burst into the mess with Captains Ilun and Rollo flanking him. “So what are we here for? What’s all this? And—wait…” Pirrell pointed at the full counter. “Are those bottles of—?”

“Kaasake?” Bessiker answered with a smile. “Yes they are. Top quality too. These were not cheap.”

“Hmm. Those might make this evening with Colonel Sartius bearable…”

Rollo and Ilun remained poised and professional, but at another glance Quinn could tell that they were trying not to laugh, as if they were in a joke no one else in the room knew.

“I told the Colonels to arrive a bit later than the rest of you,” Bessiker said motioning to the fresh imports from Dromund Kaas. “So that we may prepare the meal prior to their arrival.”

Pirrell rolled his eyes and gave an exaggerated sigh while Rollo and Ilun simply went into the kitchen.

“What are we cooking anyway, Major?” Rollo asked.

“I’m surprised Ilun hasn’t told you, considering how close the two of you are.”

There was a slight blush on the Captains’ cheeks before Ilun cleared his throat. “R-right. It, uh, it’s a simple variation of river rice. I’ll pull up the recipe from grand-chef Iorra.”

“Simple? With chef Iorra? Pah!” Pirrell exclaimed. “Is that what all this is for? What, instant rice and a meat paste not good enough for you, Bessiker?”

Quinn frowned at the abominable description Pirrell gave for river rice and shook his head.

Despite Pirrell’s tiresome mood, Bessiker remained positively chipper. “Not for tonight! You see, my son, my dear Hiran, got accepted into the Sith Academy on Korriban! Therefore, we shall celebrate and feast in his honor! Yes, even here on Balmorra.”

Ilun gave a quiet applause at Bessiker’s declaration while Pirrell just shrugged.

“Now I assume all of you have passed the basic competency portion of food preparation and safety during your academy days. So here’s what everyone will be in charge of.”

The Colonels, Eben and Sartius, arrived just as the meal was finished and plated. And the river rice, simply put, was exquisite to behold. A generous scoop of light blue rice surrounded by the fish, fried nuts mixed with ashobies, coolumer slices, half an egg, and flavorful chili paste all sitting on top of a totomo frond on the plate.

Quinn’s stomach grumbled as Bessiker greeted with a deep bow. “Ah, Colonels. I’m so grateful the two of you could make it.”

Eben and Sartius sat down without a word. Quinn and the other officers shuffled around to set the table with the food, silverware, and cups. The Majors took their seats, followed by the Captains, and finally Quinn sat down as well.

Bessiker engaged in polite conversation with the Colonels as Quinn automatically filled everyone’s small, ceramic cups full of warm kaasake in hierarchical order. Once the kaasake was distributed Major Bessiker stood to give a toast.

“I must thank you all for joining me in this wondrous occasion. As you all know by now, my son has been accepted into the Korriban Sith Academy. May he rise above their ranks and serve our Empire well!” Bessiker raised his cup high, prompting the others to do the same. “For the Empire!”

“For the Empire!” they all repeated and drank the warm wine.

Bessiker sat back down and the meal officially started when the Colonels took their bites. As the Colonels congratulated Bessiker for his son’s accomplishments and the Majors started eating as well. Then the Captains ate which meant that Quinn was now free to enjoy the food.

Quinn took slow bites, enjoying the harmony of flavors of the spices and the textures of the fish, rice, and nuts. As he ate the other officers would absentmindedly hold out their empty cups to him from time to time, an automatic and unspoken cue for him to refill their kaasake. To which Quinn obliged readily as per custom since they all out ranked him.

Everyone, even Colonel Sartius and Major Pirrell, seemed to be having a decent time. Afterall, it wasn’t common to have food this fresh and exquisite on Balmorra. Rollo and Ilun mostly kept to themselves, their hands occasionally intertwining as they’d whisper and laugh to themselves.

“So tell me, Captain,” Eben said to Rollo, “how long has it been since you arrived here?”

Rollo looked up, seemingly caught a bit off guard. “It’s been a fortnight, sir. Er… in local time.”

Eben nodded and then everyone began conversing about their time on Balmorra. Quinn sank into his seat, putting more fish and rice into his mouth. Listening to his peers he realized that they all arrived on Balmorra after him, by years in most cases. All of a sudden, the fish became too mushy, the rice’s hue looked sickly, and the fragrant chili paste became too pungent. Not wanting to rudely waste such a splendid meal, he made an effort to finish his plate so he could return to his quarters.

“You know, Bessiker,” Pirrell said while finishing another cup of kaasake, clearly drunk and bored. “I had a Sith for a lover.”

“Pfft, yeah right,” Rollo laughed under his breath with Ilun.

Pirrell stared down at the Captains and continued, “It’s true!”

“Oh? What was their name?” asked Sartius with a smirk.

“Her name was Nalatea. A beautiful red Sith and a proper Lord.” Pirrell swung his cup at Quinn, obtaining a refill. “Have any of you met a red Sith in person?”

Bessiker shook his head. “Can’t say I have.”

“Me neither,” Ilun added.

“You see them all the time on the holos but…” Eben said. “In person? No.”

A wide, slimy grin plastered itself on Pirrell’s face. “Well let me tell you all. They really are… beautifully exotic.”

Quinn’e eye twitched. He wasn’t sure why but Pirrell’s comment made him uncomfortable.

“Is it true then?” Sartius asked.

“Is what true?” Pirrell replied.

“You know,” Sartius continued, making vague hand gestures. “In the bedroom…”

“Oh, ha, well…” Pirrell quickly drank the remainder of his cup. “I’d assume so… The thing is—”

Bessiker chuckled, “I knew it. This was just a Lord you had an infatuation over. There was no way a Sith would even consider—”

Pirrell slammed the cup down with enough force that would’ve sprayed the kaasake if he hadn’t emptied it just beforehand. “I’ll have you all know that there were plenty of moments where we could’ve—”

“So then why didn’t you?” Sartius asked.

“It was her damned beasts!” Pirrell sighed. “She had wrats. About fifty—”

“She had fifty wrats?!” Rollo exclaimed.

“No! Worse. She had fifty-seven… or was it fifty-eight?”

Quinn paused at the absolute absurd amount of rodents this Sith owned, not to mention the logistic nightmare of caring for all of them.

“And I’m convinced that each and every one of her precious pets hated me,” Pirrell spat with venom.

“I… can’t imagine why,” Quinn said dryly, recalling an old Sith belief that wrats could judge a person’s character.

Bessiker cleared his throat. “Yes, well. We all live and serve at their expense.” The group mumbled in agreement before he continued. “What about the rest of you? Any interesting interactions with a Sith, not necessarily sexual or… almost sexual in Pirrell’s case.”

The Captains openly laughed with Ilun leaning into Rollo as Pirrell just frowned and ate more food.

“What about you, Lieutenant?” Bessiker asked. “You’ve been awfully quiet this evening.”

Everyone turned to look at him and he opened his mouth to answer. “I—”

“I’m pretty sure he’s always like this,” Pirrell commented.

Quinn sank back in his seat. His mind wandered to that fateful meeting with Darth Baras all those years ago. Looking around he knew that they would all be promoted and reassigned to more favorable stations. Which, the thought of officers like Pirrell succeeding where he could not made his heart sink with dread and envy.

“If I may, sirs,” Quinn sighed, “I… have much to do for Sobrik’s aerial defense inspection in the morning.” He rose and gave a deep bow. “Thank you for a pleasant evening and my congratulations to your son, Major.”

The other officers looked at him a bit oddly, but didn’t seem to care that he was departing.

As he was about to leave Bessiker called out, “Oh don’t forget your box of mirbans! And feel free to take one of the extra kaasake bottles as well!”

Quinn made it back to his quarters. Sitting on his bed he placed the bottle on the nightstand next to him and smoothed over the decorated, flimsi-thin cloth that wrapped the box. He unwrapped and slowly opened the box. There were twelve mirbans, expertly handcrafted by the look of their floral design coming in a range of soft colors.

He picked up one of the mirbans looking it over. All of a sudden, he was a child again, back with his parents and sister helping to make the different colored mirban dough in their kitchen that was far too small for the four of them.

“No sisi! I wanna do it!” Malavai would cry out as a young child.

“I’m the oldest!” his sister, Primella, would declare, “I get to mix it first!”

Their parents would give a light-hearted laugh as they managed to produce uneven, lumpy mirbans. But it didn’t matter. It always tasted good.

With a deep sigh Quinn placed the mirban back in the box, nearly putting it away. But something brewed in the pit of his stomach as he recalled the last interaction with his sister.

Balmorra. That’s where Baras was sending him. Quite frankly, it sounded awful, but it was better than death. He would need to leave in approximately fifteen minutes if he was going to catch his ship at the spaceport.

Someone knocked on his door. He opened it to find Primella staring him down with crossed arms.

“S-sisi? What—?”

She shoved past him and closed the door. “How could you do this?!”

“Do what?” “Don’t play dumb with me you little shit,” she huffed. “Did you know that mom left in the middle of your court martial trial?”

Quinn frowned. “Yes… I noticed.”

“Ok, well did you also know that she’s moving to Ziost?” “What?”

“Yeah. Word about your insubordination and mutiny got out and—”

“It was not—”

“Will you shut up and listen!” She was trembling and Quinn remained quiet as she continued. “All of mom’s friends and coworkers found out. She was practically ostracized for having a traitorous son! So now she has to move to Ziost and hope that the people there don’t know about your fuck up.”

Quinn clenched his fists as his nostrils flared. “Prim, I am not a—”

“No! Traitor or no, I am still you sisi! And you—!” she sighed. Her shoulders sagged and she tried to discreetly wipe away a stray tear.

“…Sisi,” Quinn began quietly, “what I did, I did it for the good of the Empire. And quite frankly, I’d do it all over again.”

She scoffed.

“It’s like father used to tell us—”

“Father’s dead, Malavai. He died a war hero. You were supposed to carry on that legacy! We both were…”

“I’m sorry?”

“Reon called off the wedding.” She smiled bitterly at him. “Thanks for that too, kimu.”

Quinn swallowed, his mouth dry and unable to form words.

“Do you even care? About us? Me and mom?” Her voice began to rise with each and every word. “Did you, for once, think about what this would mean for our family?!”

“Of course I—” His eyes fought back tears as he took several deep breaths. “Look, what’s done is done. Nothing I say or do will change anything now… so if you’re done yelling at me, I have a ship to catch.”

Primella glared at him and remained completely still for a minute. He could practically hear the gears whirring in her head when she finally spoke. “Fine. I need to go anyway.”

With that his sister walked out of his room and out of his life.

Quinn tossed the box lid aside and unceremoniously grabbed the mirbans, shoving them all into his mouth one after another. He forced them down despite the lump in his throat with the bottle of kaasake. Tears began to sting his eyes as he finished off the box and bottle.

The simple truth was, he’d never be able to go back home.

Quinn was going to die on this miserable planet. He tossed away the empty box and bottle into the appropriate trash containers and collapsed into bed. He didn’t want any more reminders taunting him of a time that was and a home he’d never see again.

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glossary(?) in order of appearance:

zinjer - ginger

coolumber - cucumber

cranonut - coconut

skal fish - scad fish

napani - pandan

cerulean river blossom - butterfly pea flower

totomo - banana

churtuma - turmuric

mirban - songpyeon

steamery - think, bakery is for baked foods. steamery is for steamed foods! :D

kaasake - sake

river rice - nasi lemak

ashobies - anchovies

sisi - imperial term for Older Sister

kimu - imperial term for Younger Brother

AN in tags of OP

#swtor #malavai quinn #i'm sorry this sucks #:'D #i just wanted to do a little bit of worldbuilding tbh lol #so yea #quinn pov #a lot about the unspoken rules and customs regarding hierarchy #food!!#kinship terms #etc...#file this under: why i don't write :')#long post #also NO BETA #it just my lame duck ass!#so i apologize if it's extra cringe bad writing