I LOVEEEE thinking abt fools haruan theyre so. haruka resenting an since being an idol was her passion while an sort of abandoned hers they still meet up on weekends when an isnt busy they have matching bracelets they never wear they have 97 mental illnesses & should never be left in the same room they even kiss
an scolds herself for dreaming of haruka saving the both of them but haruka thought of herself, her survival -- and an enjoys it and she scolds herself for wanting to leave too , for thinking 'i wouldve left if she asked me to . i wouldve followed her anywhere' .. haruka was her best friend and she left without a word leaving an to take the fall and the press conferences and the media coverage and an almost wants to leave (so she does . it does not bring haruka any closer) an knows there were reasons but they did everything together. they made each other the bracelets that sat unworn on their vanities and they swung their feet and laughed at weekend garage and they dyed their hair that pretty well-known blue together and she thinks couldnt i have loved her in a way that didnt ruin us? but she cant and an is so so so sick of it -- she knew her world, herself, in the context of haruka .. there is nothing that exists for an without her traces and its miserable. because the threads are severed and an isnt sure what shes doing anymore.