I've broken so many times before, but this one feels real. I am completely empty. I have failed, and I am broken. I am a shell covered with scars and imperfections, and I was cracking little by little until finally I couldn't put myself back together. I spilled out everywhere, and poisoned everything around me. Unfortunately, I didn't know everything was falling apart until it fell apart. I knew things weren't good, but I never imagined they could be this bad. I became so centered around trying to "recover" and "better myself" that I stopped trying at everything else. I failed out of school, I ruined or ended almost all of my friendships, I became so highly addicted to anything I could get my hands on. I don't really know where to go from here, or who to go to from here. Because comfort from the ones closest to me means everything and absolutely nothing. I need you, and you aren't there, and I can't reach out, and I can't ask for your help, because I burnt that bridge, and there is no turning back. I am not alone, but I feel no comfort in that. I have a wonderful support system, but I don't need support. I need a beverage, or a razor, or a substance, or maybe a nap.
