#for context lol

[freesiadotcom]

RIP the apostle paul you would have loved semicolons

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

When I was a kid I couldn't figure out which part of the cheese cake could possibly be the cheese, so I decided it was the biscuit layer.

[divorcedwife]

it’s oriane’s first birthday next month… i have to draw something special for it. december 14!!

[1eos]

ok! the exo impersonators are finally starting to impersonate correctly!!!!!!!

[keplercryptids]

Istor: “I told your friends you wouldn't want them to kill me, but honestly, I wasn't sure about that.”

Z’ress: “That's because you're a moron. I'm not here to kill you, Istor.”

Istor: “Why not?”

Z’ress: “Because I'm better than you. Always have been.”

Istor: [chuckles] “Well, I've always known that. So why are you here?”

Z’ress: “To give you my condolences. I'm sorry you lost your brother. It doesn’t feel real right now. Later, for a long time, it’ll feel impossible. You will carry him with you for the rest of your life. One day, you'll realize he's been gone longer than you knew him. It's horrible, terrible, tiring work. It's duty. It's love. None of it will ever be right. [pause] Ildan deserved to die. But nobody deserves what you’re going through. So. My condolences.

Istor: “Th-thank you.”

[sunflower-dori]

My childhood best friend might be pregnant and idk if i should respond with "oh no" or "congrats"

[spacelabrathor]

What are other forms of sex? You mean like oral, foreplay and stuff or an i just too much of a Virgin?

yeah just hand hand stuff and mouth stuff and butt stuff and toy stuff and all sorts of other stuff

[lionfloss]

What's the weirdest thing a stranger has said to you/have overheard a stranger say? When I was in Vancouver, WA a guy said to me "Man you have no idea about charcoal. You can wash it off, put it on your pocket and it's a whole new idea."