#for lover

[anywherejustnothome]

I haven’t felt this way about a love song since thinking out loud came out and honestly I think the world will agree

[champagneproblxms]

instead of “saying im on medication for anxiety” i said “im on medication for lover” and I DIDNT LIE OKAY

[misguidedmoonshine]

Why does it feel like

Rejection

When I never wanted more;

Why does it feel like

Heartbreak

When I didn’t love you so;

Why does it feel like a

Breakup

When you were never really mine;

And why does it feel like

Loss

Like I’ve somehow let you win.

[misguidedmoonshine]

Dearest Love

Make me still when I see you

I know I haven’t the right

To claim what is yours

But I feel like

Once upon a time

You should have been mine

And I ache

For whatever you see

When you look at me so terribly

I’m awful

I know

Quite horrible

To the bone

I’m everything

Neither one of us needs

But I felt you against me

And wanted so bad

That it hurt when

You would not kiss me

Even when you held me so close

I could cry;

I think you’re awful too

For devastating me like this

You can’t tell me you loved me

Once

And not expect me to crumble so.

Definitive

In the fact

That we meet far too soon

And I loved you

In all the wrong ways.

[misguidedmoonshine]

Have you ever felt anxiety

in your bones?

A restless hum

Ringing in your ears

Holding your breath captive

At gun point

You gasp for breath

you scarcely know

And somehow convince yourself

this is enough.

That is existence with you;

A half taken breath

Gasping sea foam

Choking on pearls-

I am the compressed sand

Caught between your teeth-

Having the audacity

To feel shame for my own capture.

Nails press into my core

Coaxing blood;

Feigning pleasure

Forgetting love

Where flowers no longer bloom.

I harvest anger in the brightness of spring

And sadness in the dust of fall,

Bottling them in tiny liquors bottles

To save for rainy days

when I have forgotten how to feel.

You’ve perfected the art

of teaching inadequacy

in the wake of my sorrow;

Feeding off the last of my good will-

And watching me wilt in the afternoon sun.

[misguidedmoonshine]

Seldom speak

Words so sweet

I wander my way to you.

Barely hopeful

Your pain is vocal

I long to see you soon.

Careful coping

Unfathomable choking

You never believed my truth.

Lonely, dour

The haunting hour

I hope you think of me too.

[misguidedmoonshine]

I feel summer on my skin,

Like open mouthed kisses

Peppering my shoulders gently,

And wonder if this is love;

I’m searching for completion

In the way the heavy wind blows

Lay my body to rest

In arid twilight

Kissing the sunset

With ruby red lips-

You hold my hand

in calloused palms

And beg me to return.

The world of the living

Haunts me

Like the heavy footsteps of my grandfather

I see shapes in the corners on my eyes

And for once forget

My waning vision

In hopes of seeing the fading of the light

The falling of the night

The crickets sing me to sleep

And I can almost taste Eden

On the tip of my tongue

Giving way

To all the things I could do

A reminder

To all the things we could see

What ever will be will be,

But for now

I am enough.