🖤🩸
✮ i have been trying so badly to fix my sleeping schedule. the past two days i’m doing better in that regard, than i have in a VERY long time.
✮ i wrote out a 4 weekly, daily schedule and filled out everything to the minute.
✮ i’ve been following the schedule to the best of my ability.
✮ i have been exercising and trying my best to eat better.
✮ i have barely any money, but i have managed to budget and feed myself and my cat, pay rent and afford other essentials.
✮ i cleaned my house from a disgusting, depressed sh*tshow into something that is more manageable and hygienic again.
i did, and am doing, all of this by myself in one of the worst mental health situations i have been in in my life. my medical referrals are taking the longest time, mental health related ones are still not here. but i have been trying to take healing into my own hands while i await the more official things.
more abuse from my narc today. a lot of really horrible things said and threatened that i won’t get into. but they turned the little bit of colour i added to my day into a thick, grey, suffocating smoke again.
i need to get out of here. but i don’t have the money or resources right now to do that safely.
i do not deserve to be treated like this.
i fight every day. i fight hard. and even though my life looks pathetic to a lot of people, i try my god damned best.