Elizabeth had never hosted a party. She had been the guest of honor at a few parties her father had thrown for her birthday, and that when she was younger - when she was old enough to host her own parties, her friends had largely moved or married out of Port Royal society. Too proud to ask either James or Giselle for advice this time on how to adapt Port Royal party customs to a quartet of cool pirates, she decided on several basic necessities: food; drink, both alcoholic and otherwise; some kind of rag in case there was a spill; the potential props in order to play games, but kept out of the way so that no one felt obligated; company (so adieu, Captain Norrington, girls only); and, naturally, rules. She was explaining that to the first arrivals on the scene.
Elizabeth (to whom it may concern): Teasing is tolerated, bullying is not. If you want to behave like one of the men you can go sit with them if you like. I will be very clear on this point: if anyone wakes in the morning with something written on her head, so help me God, we will find the culprit and we will dunk her." [mood shifting out of Pirate King mode] ...But I think that covers it.[Giselle puts her hand up]
Giselle: Can we write elsewhere?
Angelica: Can we write on the guys if/when they fall asleep?
Ana: I was gonna suggest no writing on people without permission but I’m in if we are writing on the guys.
Elizabeth: [pointing at Giselle] Excellent question! No. [pointing at Angelica, then Ana] Hang on a minute. What guys are going to be here?
Angelica: Not here, on the rest of the ship. We can sneak out when it gets dark
Elizabeth: I dunno if that's really covered by the all-girl-party rules. I was just sort of thinking of establishing ground rules - ground here being my cabin. Outside of it you can do what you like, can't you?
Angelica: That sounds fair
Angelica: Also I brought wine, if anyone's interested
[Giselle gives a thumbs up, already getting into the snacks]
Ana: Works for me! And I’ll take a glass.
Angelica, pouring wine for Ana: So what do you usually do on a girl's night?
Giselle, mouth stuffed full: Not have sex with men.
Elizabeth: [poker face]
Ana: It was rare we’d ever have one, but I grew up with four older sisters. We would talk shit about the boys around town, do each other’s hair sometimes, drink.
Angelica: That sounds lovely
Angelica: and not having sex with men can definitely be accomplished
Elizabeth: ...yeah, mostly gossip and drink. Discuss - [cough] - discuss anything you're not supposed to be discussing in mixed company.
Angelica: it's okay you can say sex life
Angelica: how's the former navy man?
[Giselle manifests popcorn]
[Anamaria chokes on her drink trying not to laugh]
[Angelica sips wine]
Elizabeth: [turning red] ..... as he is your captain, I don't know if it would be, hm, civil to discuss it-
Angelica: how about we all tell each other a secret, to make things fair for poor lizzie?
Giselle: Well it's not like we can't hear it
Elizabeth: [loudly whispering] GISELLE
Ana: Can’t say I’m not disappointed to not hear that gossip, but we don’t all have to talk about anything we’re not comfortable with. This is supposed to be a fun night, no stress.
Ana: Or men. Which is like the same thing.
Angelica: cheers to that
Elizabeth: [takes a big swallow of wine and elects to stay silent]
Giselle: Well, in terms of secrets, I'm willing to share some
Angelica: Oh?
Giselle: [takes a delicate sip of wine] i was once part a group of ladies brought in to entertain some fancy pirate lords
Elizabeth: [leaning in from where she's decided to sit] Anyone i know?
Ana: [gets comfortable, grinning] Oh God here we go!
Angelica: I fear the worst
Giselle: i think i'm the only one what can claim to have undone both jack sparrow AND his father
Elizabeth:
Angelica: That might be the worst sentence I've ever heard, are you okay sweetie?
Giselle: a bit itchy sometimes but overall alright
Angelica: I can imagine
Ana: I have no words. I kind of want to high five you and also forget I ever heard that.
Angelica: I second that
Ana: Does Jack know??
Giselle: don't think they talk much
Giselle: kinda want to see his face when he finds out
Ana: That’s exactly what I was thinking
Angelica: I brought him up once and jack straight up left
Angelica: just walked out
Ana: Oh. I’ve only ever heard stories about his father, but never from him...
Elizabeth: If it's not too forward - how do you know Jack?
Angelica: Let's just say it's his fault that I'm not a nun anymore
Ana: He DIDN’T. Of course he did.
Elizabeth: [unintentionally melodramatic hand-pressed-to-heart reaction]
Angelica: I learned the hard way that Spanish monasteries take chastity very seriously
Elizabeth: ... I am so sorry.
Ana: I swear to God he ruins everything he comes across. [rolls eyes and takes a drink]
Elizabeth: I don't have anything even comparable to that, but he did try to trade my hus- [winces, collects herself] He tried to trade my ex-husband to Davy Jones to free his own soul. And lied to me about it the whole time, letting me think he was doing everything in his power to save the man i loved, who had been cruelly forced into service by Jones. He was just using all of us to get to the heart of Davy Jones, and he didn't care what became of us along the way.
Ana: I...I’m so sorry you were treated that way. He can be a complete bastard. Sometimes he even takes pride in it...but I can’t imagine he’s proud of all that. That doesn’t make what he did any better though.
Giselle: ………we should leave him to rot
Ana: I sometimes wonder why we don’t. He owes me a debt, at least, is what I say my reason is for going after him.
Elizabeth: ...Beckett's got warrants for our - I mean mine, Will's and James' - executions... all because we helped Jack out of his own.
Elizabeth: I don't know, I guess if he just dies somewhere it's like it was all for nothing.
Angelica: And I thought he fucked my life up
Angelica: Are you guys okay?
Elizabeth: I'm the Pirate King. I'm fine. [hesitates and chews on her lower lip] ... I don't know about James so much.
Angelica: Well he's got the bastard himself pursuing him despite everything
Angelica: Can't be much fun
Angelica: why are we even talking about him, I thought this was girl's night?Angelica: Can't we shift the conversation to something more uplifting
Elizabeth: I mean, it's certainly an icebreaker - he's the one thing we all have in common.
Ana: Can you imagine how terrified he’s going to be when he comes back to find we’re all friends?
Angelica: God you're right about that
Angelica: Must be his worst nightmare
Ana: We have to scare the SHIT out of him!
Angelica: Honestly the only thing that he'd find worse than this would be if we were dating or something
Angelica: So I think we're good to go
Ana: [winks] Line up, I’ve got two secret admirers already.
Elizabeth: [turns extremely red at that one and crams pretzels into her mouth]
Angelica: That you do, any updates on that by the way?
Ana: No. One’s a naval officer but it’s not James obviously so who even knows. And the other one’s part of the crew, but God knows who it is.
Angelica: Yeah I have no clue to be honest
Angelica: What do the rest of you think?
Elizabeth: [shrugs broadly] As you put it, Anamaria, I've never had a secret admirer, and I don't know the first thing about them.
Ana: Alright. But you or James probably know the crew better than I do, so if you ever have a theory let me know.
Angelica: This is like a mystery novel
Elizabeth: The real mystery is how any of these men learned how to write poetically.
Angelica: How do we know if it's a man?
Angelica: I mean the naval officer, obviously
Giselle: [defensively] nehemiah's a poet! what with his hashtags and quips
Elizabeth: [patting her on the arm] Yes, but he's not writing Anamaria, because he's taken.
Giselle: [glances between anamaria and angelica, stuffing popcorn in her mouth - SHE HAS THEORIES]
Angelica: [sips wine] I'm just saying
Ana: I mean it’s either a guy or one of us, if they’re on the crew. Or they could be lying.
Angelica: If it's jack I'm going to throw myself in the sea
Ana: Pfffft he would have his work cut out for him if he tried. And it doesn’t seem to be his ghost messages so I think I’m in the clear
Angelica: Oh that's right he does That
Giselle: you should look for hidden messages
Giselle: like them emoji
Elizabeth: Like, the emojis being clues to the identity of the sender?
Giselle: yes! we're all pirates, we're supposed to do hidden clues and such
Angelica: idk guys this doesn't look like it could lead to anything
Angelica: pretty normal looking if you ask me
Giselle: it's a star
Giselle: stars shine bright in the night
Giselle: so do…… lighthouses!! it's a lighthouse keeper!!!
Elizabeth: [wanting to preserve Giselle's feelings but not on board with this] I think it might just be an emoji they think is very nice.
Elizabeth: Maybe you should ask Nehemiah! He knows, I'm sure, lots about emojis.
Angelica: do we know any lighthouse keepers?
Angelica: It sounds like a Solid theory to me
Ana: I’m gonna agree with Elizabeth on this one
Elizabeth: If they haven't conveyed their identity yet, I'm sure they have a good reason.
Angelica: They might be scared or something idk
Elizabeth: When my - it took Will a long time to tell me he loved me. He had to be sure how I felt about him. There was... It doesn't matter anymore. Nevermind.
Angelica: Aw hun, you don't have to think about that
Angelica: Do you want some wine?
Elizabeth: Thanks, but I should probably watch how much I drink.
Angelica: Fair enough, that means it's more for me
Elizabeth: ...anyway. They'll tell you when they're ready, I know it.
Angelica: Let's hope they do
Elizabeth: They just want to be sure she'll accept them for who they are.
Angelica: Oh yes I'm sure
Angelica: If you got to choose, who would you want them to be, ana?
Ana: I wouldn’t even know, I was always working with family, or just working so much I hardly cared. Never really thought about love.
Ana: My dad left my mom when I was really young so I guess I just never thought it was worth enough to go looking for love. I haven’t been unhappy without romance. [shrugs]
Angelica: I understand that, though in my experience that's just something that men do
Elizabeth: [chatting w giselle about james' clothes lol]
Angelica: No offense to you two, liz, Giselle
Angelica: I'm sure your boys are fine
Elizabeth: ...yeah, I'm usually the guilty party.
Angelica: Oh really?
Elizabeth: .... Exited an engagement to get engaged to someone else. Annulled that marriage to get with someone else again. [beat] ...Kissed Jack during the second engagement. But it was to kill him, so, you know.[avoiding everyone's eyes] And.... even in a good place, I still think about other people. It's. [huff] It's confusing.
Angelica: Maybe you're just not meant for monogamy? I've met plenty of people who made alternatives work
Elizabeth: [mumbling] I don't think that's it.
Giselle: i feel like it's okay to kiss someone outside your engagement if it means jack sparrow dies
Angelica: Oh I'm totally with you on that one
Giselle: but aside from that, i'm happy with how slow things are going with nehemiah - ain't never met anyone what didn't want to get my knickers off as quick as they could
Angelica: But from what I can tell, that's not always the case is it?
Ana: One of my older sisters used to say she was “window shopping”—she didn’t feel bad about looking at attractive men as long as she didn’t “make a purchase” while she was with another.
Angelica: That's quite the philosophy, and completely understandable
Elizabeth: .....Or attractive women.
Angelica: Oh cheers to that
Angelica: Being attracted to women is 90% of my life honestly
Elizabeth: [peeping up at her in relief, and also... more relief] So that's - that's completely normal?
Angelica: I mean if you ask me, it totally is
Angelica: Maybe you should ask your man if he's up for a threesome? That way you could get in touch with some ladies
Elizabeth: [COLORING] That's not really- nevermind.
Angelica: It’s not for everyone, I get that
Ana: [lets out a breath] I hadn’t even noticed that I found women attractive until someone thought to ask. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Giselle: i mean, threesomes are alright, i ain't never had a problem being with the ladies, but you had to share the money after…
Angelica: Thought threesomes would cost extra?
Giselle: they do
Giselle: they do
Giselle: i just don't like sharing my money
Angelica: fair enough
Elizabeth: [laughs out loud]
Ana: [chuckling] I mean, you earned it, I get that.
Angelica: [nodding in agreement] You worked hard
Elizabeth: ...Giselle, have you ever been in love? Before Nehemiah, I mean.
Giselle: love's a bit of a fool's game in my old line of work, y'know? they start askin for free what you can charge ten shillins for
Elizabeth: What'd you charge Jack?
Angelica: I could have charged him??
Giselle: [huffs quite loudly and mutters into her wine] not enough considerin
Ana: If I’d charged him he probably would’ve stolen it back anyway.
Angelica: That's true
Angelica: He's tricky like that
Angelica: did he leave anything behind when he passed away btw?
Anamaria: Whatever, I was using him for sex right back, would’ve evened out if he didn’t take my boat
Elizabeth: I don't know how, but I heard Tia Dalma has what's left of him.
Ana: Did someone loot the body?
Angelica: Isn't she the swamp witch? Feels a little weird to leave a dead body with her
Elizabeth: .... was it. Was it any good?
Ana: ...I don’t like to talk about it because I hate admitting that it was. He doesn’t need to know that.
Elizabeth: [presses her hands over her mouth and lets out a little squeal] I want to know about it though!
Elizabeth: I'm the only woman here who hasn't- you know.
Angelica: [nodding] I'm not saying it was worth it but all I'm saying is that his mouth is good for more than talking
Angelica: The mustache does tickle tho
Elizabeth: [is gonna die]
Ana: ...yeah I’m gonna pass that question off to Angelica and Giselle. I only ever did it the once anyway.
Angelica: For the record I'd like to inform you all that I'm better than him
Elizabeth: [moves her hands from covering her mouth to just burying her entire face in her palms]
Angelica: I do hope your little navy man takes good care of you sweetheart
Angelica: I always say that if he won't go down on you he's not worth your time
Elizabeth: [muffled groan]
Angelica: [sips wine]
Ana: We could be your wingmen if you need it? I can’t tell if you’re embarrassed or upset because your face is covered.
Angelica: I can make a powerpoint if you want
Angelica: to show james
Ana: He seems in love enough he’d probably do whatever to please you.
Elizabeth: [pulling her hands down, composing herself immediately, after a moment to sniff as though she was on the verge of crying] I'm good. It's - we're good. Thank you.
Elizabeth: [glances at Anamaria with a particularly fond smile at her statement that James looooves her] [because aww]
Angelica: Eating ya girl out is part of being in love, everyone knows this
Angelica: Just fyi if anyone here is thinking of dating me
Elizabeth: [lifts just one hand to hier brow to make it out like she's scratching her temple but is really just momentarily avoiding Angelica's eyes]
Angelica: [sips wine]
Ana: Maybe if I did date someone the secret admirers would finally speak up about who they were..
Angelica: That might be uh, that could work maybe possibly
Ana: I wouldn’t want to use someone like that, though. I dunno, stupid idea.
Elizabeth: [hands end up clasped over her mouth again, but she doesn't say anything much]
Angelica: I mean I could help you, if you want
Angelica: That's what friends are for, right?
Ana: What, like, fake date? You’d be okay with that?
Angelica: Yeah, totally! :) If it helps us find the admirer then any tactic is good
Angelica: plus it might scare jack
Ana: That WOULD be hilarious. I mean, if you’re sure you’re okay with it, it’s worth a shot?
Angelica: I don't see why not :)))) as long as you're comfortable with it
Ana: Alright. I’m sorry I’ll probably be pretty awkward, I haven’t been in a relationship in ages
Angelica: Oh no I'm sure you'll do great
️Angelica: So uh
Angelica: Do we announce it?
Ana: I guess so...? Elizabeth what did you do when you and James started seeing each other?
Elizabeth: I... don't know that there's anything to compare to this.
Angelica: If we want the admirer to see it we can't be discreet, right?
Ana: I guess not, I just don’t really know what to post. It’s not like tumblr has a relationship status thing
Elizabeth: Oh, hell. [laughs, albeit a little tensely]
Elizabeth: Actually. I think that's nearly the same as this.
Ana: [concerned] Elizabeth, are you alright?
Elizabeth: I'm fine. There's just a whole lot of irony going around.
Angelica: If you talk about it, maybe you'll feel better?
Elizabeth: What's any of you know about James and I?
Angelica: Not much, but if we knew more then we might be able to help you
Angelica: We just want what's best for you darling
Ana: I know you two are very close, he cares about you a lot. That’s about it.
Elizabeth: Uh. Well.
Elizabeth: James proposed to me in Port Royal the day I was first abducted by pirates. I accepted him after he rescued me later, but I was in love with somebody else and he let me go.
Elizabeth: I didn't mean to end my entire marriage for him. I wish I could say I did. But it just sort of happened when Will and I met up and I told him how I was feeling.
Elizabeth: Then, you know, James showed up in Tortuga and they tried to lynch him. I put a stop to that, and - more or less, people thought I was getting some... Use out of him. So yeah.
Elizabeth: [back to business] Same as you, pretty much. We faked it really. I was only keeping him in my room since I thought somebody might try to finish hanging him if they got him alone.
Angelica: So it was a bit of a coincidence, is what you're saying?
Elizabeth: A huge one! Imagine if he'd showed up just a little earlier than I did. I'd have been too late.
Angelica: Oh yeah he'd be dead af
Ana: So are you saying it’s still kinda fake now?
Elizabeth: It's pretty real now. I just don't know where it's going.
Angelica: Well are you happy? Do you love him?
Elizabeth: I'm. I'm not sure.
Elizabeth: I'm not sure if I've ever really been in love.
Elizabeth: [covers her eyes again as though she's getting a headache] Let's not talk about me.
Angelica: No but sweetie, we need to solve this
Angelica: You look like it's really eating you up [she puts her arms around liz]
Elizabeth: [groans, inwardly, outwardly, globally, spiritually, on the astral plane, etc]
Elizabeth: I've said I love him, but I don't know what I feel. Except guilt! I feel so much guilt!
Angelica: I'm sorry to be the one to say this, but you might need some time to work on yourself darling
Angelica: I'm not necessarily saying you should call things quits completely, but it sounds like this could end up being bad for both you and James
Elizabeth: I can't do that to him. I was just talking to him about us.
Angelica: Listen, you can't move things too fast if you're not sure about this. Whatever you decide to do, that's one point I cannot stress enough
Ana: Sorting through your emotions on your own time, either by yourself or with people you’re comfortable with, doesn’t mean you have to leave James behind, or even go on a break.
Elizabeth: Angelica, if i took that advice, I would be on an island in the Caribbean somewhere, starving. With Jack Sparrow.
Elizabeth: I've spent the last three years of my life moving too fast.
Angelica: Then maybe it's time to calm down a little. Focus on your career or something
Elizabeth: But I do care about him.
Elizabeth: And it's not Jack that ruined his life, it's me. I did that.
Elizabeth: He let Jack go because I stepped in and asked him.
Elizabeth: Hell. If I had married him, he might not have chased Jack into a hurricane, either.
Elizabeth: I owe him a lot. And he needs my protection - he worked for Beckett for a year and no one trusts him.
Angelica: Sweetie, you can't be in a relationship just because you feel like you owe the guy something. That's not healthy and certainly not fair to him
Angelica: With your position I'm sure you can grant him some form of protection, as for what you owe him there are other ways to pay that debt off
Elizabeth: [a little stubbornly] It's not the only reason. It's part of the reason.
Angelica: A reason still, you should never feel like you owe a significant other anything
Angelica: How would you feel if it were the other way around?
Elizabeth: If James felt that he owed me?
Angelica: exactly
Elizabeth: I think he does feel that he owes me.
Angelica: Then that's no good either
Elizabeth: [desperately] Do we really have to talk about this?
Angelica: If it's making you uncomfortable then we don't have to, but I do think you should talk to someone about this
Elizabeth: There's nothing to talk about.
Angelica: [shrugging] if you say so...
Elizabeth: [crossing her arms, but thankfully not evoking either pirate king or captain status to get her way, just sulking] I do.
Angelica: Yeah I can tell :)
Ana: Well I might be shit at relationship advice but I’m fantastic at changing the subject. We ranted about Jack already but we haven’t dragged Beckett?
Angelica: The only thing I know about him is that he's short and a Bitch
Giselle: short and obsessed with himself - we all, 'cept cap'n swann, ree-gret-ah-blee have a kom-man-al-ihtee with him
Angelica: Oh really?
And with that, Girls’ Night amiably returned to slumber-party standards: subjects were changed, wine was had by all, and eventually men’s faces were defaced with mysterious sigils such as approximations of the eggplant emoji and the exotic incantation only known as DEEZ NUTS... and what horrors it summons, none yet live who can speak of it.
