chili cheese fries and sex | gojo satoru 𑣲⋆。˚
lots of stupid sex talk and dumb jokes at a diner between early 20 something year old friends, mentions of virginity. au. no smut in dis. implied tho.
when you needed to vent, you called satoru gojo. he talked…a lot. but surprisingly, he made a great listener for all of your silly escapades. he was the only one you knew that would listen—poke fun—but wouldn’t judge or hold it against you.
you both sat in the diner, facing one another, stuffing your faces with chili cheese fries and shirley temples. the chili cheese fries they served could serve a family of eight, so of course you guys never bought the fries individually, but just shared it amongst each other.
“so,” gojo began, cocking his head back and dropping the fries in his mouth. “what’s got you all hung up this time?”
you sat back in the booth, sigh escaping your mouth with an accompanying eye roll. gojo remained looking at you, hint of a smile on his face while he scarfed down the fries.
“it’s actually quite stupid, to be honest,” you admitted, propping your face up with your hand.
“well, i’m sure it can’t be dumber than your last reason,” gojo teased, mouth still full of fries. “you’re very impressive with upping your score each time.”
you audibly smacked your teeth and flipped him off.
“maybe i should start keeping a scoreboard every time you call me to chat.”
“are you done?” you asked nonchalantly, face still propped by your hand.
pointing his finger in the air, “or maybe you should bring one.”
his hand trailed towards the tray of fries beneath him until you yanked it away, leaving his fingers grasping at air.
“listen!” you yelled, forcing a fry in your mouth.
gojo’s shoulders dropped. he lifted his hands in defeat, motioning for you to continue with your story.
“i went on a date with this guy last night, right?” you began, looking and grabbing fries as you continued. “great date, nothing crazy. but once we reached my door…he just kissed me on the forehead and told me goodnight.”
you stared down at the fries a little longer, anticipating a response from gojo. but when you looked up, he was blinking slowly, eyes then moving to the left and right.
“and the problem is?” he questioned, curiosity in his voice.
you groaned and dropped your face into both hands, pulling your skin downwards as you looked back at gojo’s eyebrow raising.
“there’s not a problem—like at all,” you explained, taking a gulp from your untouched shirley temple “but i was expecting you know…” your shoulders began to move in an exaggerated rhythm. “a little wine and dine in my living room, and then maybe you know a little…” you cleared your throat and dropped your voice an octave. ‘this pussy is mine’ in the bedroom.”
your hands trailed towards the tray of fries beneath him until you slowly saw it being dragged away, lifting your head to see gojo pulling it with his eyes wide.
“are you sure you didn’t just scare him off?” he teased, instinctively smiling when the taste of a fry touched his tastebuds
“goj!” you dropped your face back into your hands.
he simply snickered at your shame. “or maybe he didn’t want to just be like every guy.”
you raised your head, meeting his gaze—his gaze still on fries. “well, not every guy wants sex,” you began, taking a sip from your shirley temple again. “i mean a lot do, but i’ve already told you about the guys i went on dates with, and all we did was hang out.”
“or argue,” gojo shrugged.
you flipped him off again, meeting a flip off from him back. he dipped his head back and dropped the last of fries into his mouth.
“i just really wanted this one specifically to want sex.”
“no! not really,” you admitted, shrugging and leaning back against the booth. “he’s okay…a little bit too fascinated with blood but…it left me anticipating something kinky.”
gojo, sure he listened, was too busy trying to get the attention of a waiter for more fries to respond. everytime he tried to yell, he was just left sticking his finger in the air. you rolled your eyes and carried on with your complaint anyway.
“can’t a girl just want some sex? just a few strokes and nothing more?”
“why don’t you just call toji?” gojo asked, still not looking at you, hands getting more frantic trying to wave down a waiter.
you furrowed your brow and hit the table, immediately getting gojo’s attention again. he sat back in the booth like a puppy who didn’t get his treat.
“i don’t need sex that bad,” you pointed at him, voice a little raised. you placed your finger down and sighed. “and besides, as much as he’s good in bed, i’m not trying to deal with any of his stupid baby mama drama…or his smart ass mouth.”
“fair enough,” gojo shrugged. “he does have a smart ass mouth.”
you continued drinking your shirley temple, watching gojo still fail to get a waiter. you scoffed at him.
“sir!” you screamed, grabbing the attention of a few patrons and finally: a waiter.
“can we get another order of the supreme chili cheese fries? ranch on the side, please?” you smiled, giving the waiter a thumbs up as he nodded.
you met gojo’s gaze, eyes wide and hands pressed to the table.
“i could’ve just did that,” he said blankly.” i didn’t want to be rude though…” he trailed off.
you completely dickmatized: “okay maybe i’ll just call toji.”
“no, no you’re not gonna be that desperate now, are you?” gojo asked in protest, scrunching his face and raising his arms. “aren’t there other guys in your phone you could call?”
he lifted his finger like a lit lightbulb was over his head, remembering a suitor.
“ooo, what about that guy, kento?”
you groaned, dropping your shoulders, ashamed thinking of the one that got away. “don’t remind me of him,” you stuck your lip out in a pout. “i saw him and his wife’s new wedding photos and it made me drive 43 miles from where i was to toji’s.”
“oh girl,” gojo teased, shaking his head slowly and smacking his teeth.
“plus i’m tired of the same guys. i need something new and exciting,” you took a big gulp of your drink. “and maybe heavy…and a bit girthy.”
“not long?” gojo snickered.
“not right now, goj,” you said, no giggle escaping.
“you’re no fun,” gojo moaned. “and where are my fries?” he looked out into the busy diner.
“i just wish sex wasn’t this big thing everyone makes it out to be. i would love to just call kento and be like ‘saw the wedding photos!’ celebratory sex for the one time?’”
gojo, too busy, continued looking out into the noisy diner, head moving back and forth just in hopes of a waiter carrying the fries.
“sometimes i wish i was a virgin still,” you admitted, almost in a whisper. “then maybe i wouldn’t be so hung up on dick all the time…or maybe i would,” you thought aloud, raising your brow. you shook your head from the thought and continued drinking your shirley temple.
but gojo’s head turned back to you—almost immediately.
“trust me: you wouldn’t want that.”
you scrunched up your face, biting your bottom lip briefly. “i mean why not? you’re telling me you’re not hung up on pussy?” you leaned back, folding your arms and nodding away. “i’m impressed”
“no no, it’s not that,” gojo responded. “i am, it’s just-” he stopped mid sentence, brow raising, eyes widening, and finger tapping the table, trying everything and failing to concoct words.
the always talking gojo, ever so speechless now.
he shrugged in defeat. “i don’t know. i just know you wouldn’t want to be a virgin still.”
“are you talking in general or are you just talking ‘me’ specifically?” you sipped, eyes still on him. your brows heavily furrowed, awaiting him to unwrap this messy conversation.
you could swear you saw his cheeks redden. “where are these damn fries!” he banged the table with his fist, making you jump a bit. hair not in his face at all, his hand kept trying to bring it back anyway.
“or are you just talking you?”
he paused. sinking in his seat.
“one supreme chili cheese fries,” the waiter announced, dropping the food off. the fries lays waiting in the middle of the table, but yet, the one who wanted them so bad laid staring at you.
“me?” he scoffed, pointing to himself. “a virgin?”
“it’s literally fine if you are, go-”
his erupt laughter cut you off. he continue banging the table, leaning forward and shaking his head. you could tell you caught the eyes of more patrons.
you had seen him laugh so much that the way his eyes moved left and right as his neck strained, forcing a chuckle out of his lips—you could tell this one was farce.
“gojo, answer me honestly,” you interjected, reaching your hands out to him.
he stopped, still bent over with his eyes looking up at you.
“are you a virgin?” you asked in a whisper, offering a sympathetic smile.
gojo dug his face into his hands, pieces of chili from his messy fingers gelling to his white hair.
“dude there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin,” you reassured, still reaching for his hands, but his hands dove straight in the tray of fries, causing bits of chili to land on the table.
he forcibly stuffed it into his mouth. “yeah, when you want to be one,” he responded pitifully, mouth full of fries.
your mouth wanted to twitch into a smile, but you bit your lip and fought against it. you leaned back trying to come up with the right words—something to express it wasn’t really a big deal…or at least something to flip the topic back to you, but you came up with:
“i mean at least you’re not like me, just wanting some damn genital all the time.”
you pressed your fingernails into your head, wanting to take back the words your dumb brain could come up with.
“but i do want some genital all the time!” he retorted…loudly.
your eyes met the person behind gojo glaring at you. you mouthed ‘sorry’ and bent down.
“gojo, keep your fucking voice down,” you whispered, “you’re gonna get us kicked out.”
he slowly placed a fry in his mouth. one by one, he continued feasting, not meeting your gaze once.
you rolled your eyes and snapped your fingers at him, finally getting him to look at you.
“what?” mouth full and open for everyone to see the mashed fries.
you reached over and lifted his chin up, forcing him to close his mouth. he just stared blankly at you, cheeks full now.
“why do you think you’re still a virgin? only answer if you absolutely don’t mind me asking.”
he took an audible gulp and began tracing the table with the chili. “i don’t know. i think i just scare women off.”
“you?” a snicker breaking its way out of your mouth. you tried holding the sarcasm. “no way, not you.”
“i’m fucking doomed, aren’t i?”
“i mean,” you began, shrugging. “you’re a little loud, obnoxious, and out there sometimes, and what’s the word? expressive?” you teased. “did i say loud?”
“just put me out of my misery,” he said, voice low and pitiful.
you sighed, no longer wanting to see him suffer.
“okay goj, in all seriousness, it’s not that serious. it’s completely fine.”
“haven’t you embarrassed me enough?” he barked. hey everybody! big virg-“ you reached over and clasped his mouth shut with your hands. but everybody was already looking.
inches away from each other, your eyes met. his blues were definitely even more striking from this close. you were in a far awkward position, but having your hand around his mouth was quite…satisfying.
although wide, his gaze softened under your touch and you could see his shoulders drop.
remembering the many eyes on you, you regained composure, refusing to let up.
you leaned back in your booth, your eyes remaining on him as you sat. he continued following your eyes, a soft smile appearing on his face.
“i’m acting crazy, aren’t i?” he asked, genuinely. he dropped another fry in his mouth. he gulped and stared at the tray. “i think it’s the fries.”
“goj, it’s really not a big deal, though. let’s change the topic, okay?”
“it’s fine! just don’t tell my friends, please. i need them to think i’m a hoe.”
i don’t even like your friends, is what you wanted to say, but you stuck your pinky out instead.
with a toothy grin, his pinky interlocked with yours. you both stayed like that, just above the chili cheese fries. your fingers felt warm all of a sudden. the fries were on the table for a while, so you knew it wasn’t the heat. you then felt your cheeks warm up.
you pulled back immediately and rubbed your hand under the table.
“goj,” you began slowly, voice in a soft whisper. “answer me honestly one last time.”
“you and this honesty thing,” he pointed a fry at you. “it’s getting me into a world of trouble,
you snickered at his response, and took a deep breath. “don’t get too excited…but would you maybe want to have sex with me?”
your eyes trailed as a bit of chili fell from his hair and onto the table.
he raised his glass of shirley temple—his first time touching it all night—and took three large gulps.
he met your gaze again. you sat there, leaning back waiting for answer, gripping the seat with your nails.
“i-i mean, what about our friendship?” he questioned, hand scratching the back of his head.
“i could just call toji,” you moved as if you were about to grab your phone.
he reached over against the table, and grabbed your arm. your gaze dropped to his white shirt, snickering as it was ruined by the chili all over it. but he didn’t seem to mind—just staring and smiling at you like a lost kid who found his mom in the mall.
“yes! i’m down,” he squealed. he quickly shook his head and leaned back, back resting against the booth and arms folded. he audibly cleared his throat.
“where should we meet, then?” he asked in a faux deep voice.
“well if you can get the waiter for the check, as soon as we leave—”
“sir!” gojo yelled from across the diner with both hands around his mouth.
an | i had too much fun writing this. i could see a part two in the future…
in all seriousness though, being a virgin is not at all a big deal. this is just a story.