To the relatives of Foster Parents
This post will be everyone who is related to someone who is, or will be a foster parent. We are VERY blessed to have very supportive family members who help us along the journey of being foster parents. They are always there for emotional support, and physical support. So this is my way of letting you know how to help be there for your family member who will be on this journey.
First thing, be an emotional supporter. Be a shoulder they can cry on, someone who they can vent to, give advice and just listen. There are times I am so emotionally worn out that I just need to get it all out so I can get past it. There are other times that the best way you can be emotionally supporting is to give me a break, take the kids for a couple hours so I can just get a grip on everything again...or take a nap. We went from no kids and no experience besides nieces and nephews. Levi was not an easy kid, he was so hurt and mad, it was physically exhausting to take care of him those first 6 months. I remember asking my sister if he could spend the night with her just so I could sleep in the next day. SO, ask question, offer your help and listen..they may not ask for help but if you pay close enough attention, you'll know when they need it the most.
Ok, so physical support, your family members will have A LOT of things going on with their kiddos so sometimes a dinner is a big help! There will be doctors visits, worker visits, family visits, sibling visits, CASA visits, Attorney visits, etc. If they have full time jobs on top of these responsibilities then they will be extremely tired and not having to come home and cook on top of that is a BIG stress relief. You can also offer to go over and help clean up. Having new little ones in the house takes some adjusting, for instance I know its no use to try and clean right now while the kids are awake, but that takes some getting used too. Offer to help organize the new kids room so that everything has its place.
What I think is most important, make them feel like family. Don't treat them as temporary foster grandkids, or nieces and nephews. Treat them with the same love you treat the other kids in your life. I don't want my kids to feel any different then my nieces and nephews. So throw them birthday parties, celebrate all their "wins", do the little things that are important to kids, but whatever you do DO NOT introduce them or label them as Foster Kids, one its not allowed and two you don't want them to label themselves that. Every kids that lives with me is my kid, no matter how long they stay. I know foster parents who calls them their guest, do whatever works for you. Also, remember that, who ever it is that is fostering the kids (your child, sister, brother, cousin etc) they did this to be parents to those kids, so treating the kids like they were you bio family, makes the parents feel appreciated as well.
Until next time