Four Downs to the Ten-Yard Line
Track 4
Brom:
What do you mean, you don’t get how it’s played? I mean, just ‘cause you’re a homo doesn’t mean you can’t watch football. I mean, you’re still a dude, right?
Ichabod:
I guess
Brom:
I mean, who ever said football is for beer-guzzling troglodytes in trailer parks? We scholars of the academe can enjoy it on a whole other level. Look-
First, you’ve got your two teams
Titans bursting the seams of their uniform’s design
Coin toss to begin it, each one wants to win it
Each one thinking this is mine
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Based on his own charter, coaches signs a starter
Wound up like a tense turbine
Kickoff, then we’re going
Cheers and whistles blowing
Four down to the ten-yard line
You follow?
Ichabod:
Um…
Brom:
Guards and wide receivers
Touchdowns who’s achievers thank their maker most divine
Corner-backs appearance
No catch interference
See that perseverance shine
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Every quarter’s kick mate
And to date a sick play
Run by a tight end survive
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Huddle at the scrimmage
Patriotic image
Four downs to the ten-yard line
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As the football flies through the midday skies
Cue the crowds who rise with a roar
And it’s no surprise
When you realize you’ll idealize ever more
Score!
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There go the offensive line men
Their extensive masses black as iodine
Giants making tackles
Always make my hackles bristle like a porcupine
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Fans who fill the bleachers
Contumacious creatures worship at their chosen shrine
I could spend my life here
TV, game, my wife, beer
Four downs to the ten-yard line
Commercial break- you following?
Ichabod:
It’s great. Lot of fun.
Katrina:
You boys doing ok?
Ichabod, you need anything? Wine?
Ichabod:
No, fine, thank you
Katrina:
Brom, can you help me-
Brom:
Not now, hon, the game’s on
Watch now, see them crumble
Ref calls it a fumble
So cue the new coaches whine
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Holy shit! He missed it
Kicker barely kissed it
And yet you just sit benign
You might think it’s corny
But this makes me horny
I could rub one out just fine
Once more in slow motion
Jesus! Grab the lotion
Four down to the ten-yard line
Ichabod:
Who’s this guy?
What’s his deal?
What’s this awkwardness that I feel?
When he’s near
When he’s close
There’s a flutter of fear that I can’t diagnose
Brom:
See the football flying, the defense trying
The losers crying, the shame
Then the band starts playing, the crowd is fraying
The game’s over, change the channel to sports entertainment and we can do the commentary
Ichabod, you're missing everything
Ichabod:
I’m intrigued
What’s his aim?
I ignite when he says my name
Brom is straight
That’s just great
Why am I always into guys who aren’t available and even if they were, would never go for me
Brom:
Watch the game!
Ichabod:
Right. Focus on the fine men
Brom:
The offensive line men
Ichabod:
Check out number 49
Makes a big impression
Brom:
Football’s my obsession
You pick out your valentine
Ichabod:
Look, I’m a musician
When’s the intermission?
Brom:
Oh, what, you need a glass of wine?
Ichabod:
Well-
Brom:
Ichabod, you kill me
God, this game can thrill me
Kicker’s in the high behind
Ichabod:
Geschichte feile or a heismann?
Brom:
What?
Ichabod:
Nothing
Both:
Four downs to the ten-yard line!
Katrina:
Dinner’s ready!
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Brom introduces Ichabod to football before dinner, and explains the basics to him while they watch a game together. Ichabod realizes his feelings for Brom during this, but comes to terms with his chances with him.
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