15 Things You Can Do Right Now to Recover from a Setback
by Stephanie Fjetland M.S.S.W, F.D.S.
I came up with over two hundred mental health related topics before remembering that part of making a legitimate business is gaining traffic from people who are searching for answers or readers who return to content on purpose. Since I am broke, as proven, at that point it became important to understand what kind of mental health information people were searching for. I was self assured I would probably know some type of an answer for everyone. I'm a leo, my ego is bigger than I am at times. My first ten or so article topics came from reading Google's list of most Googled mental health questions. I found it comforting and serendipitous. At the top of the list were questions like, "How to recover from an episode," "How to be resilient."...and " How to make a comeback." and more. Those are the things that I don't only have the credentialing to discuss, but those are also the things I have already done. That is what matters to the people asking those questions. I know truth and experience go much further than empirical data with real live people living real lives. Considering the questions, "How to Recover From an Episode or Set Back." seemed the best place to start my mission to educate from my experience and reality. Do I need to tell the world where I was this time last year in order to be perceived as valid? Only time and discretion will tell. This topic seemed like a critical entry point in introducing the type of content I want to provide. I feel it sets a foundation for future entries. I decided it was best not to interpret the questions in abstract ways but to answer the one question with the most basic, proven, tangible, and literal strategies I know. People that are in dark and desperate places asking dark and desperate questions don't want my human interest story. They want help. They need specific, tangible, and free resources or direction. With an overwhelming amount of ideas, I decided my first entry needed to be in list format. I'd highlight ten things that almost anyone can do without cost or offense that will benefit them towards the better self and mind. It would also be credible and scientific. The results of my suggestions might not be instantaneous psychologically. Still the action behind the results can be instantaneous physiologically. The results we are seeking to feel validated by, when trying to regenerate ourselves, are almost never immediate. It is the exposure to the benefits of a practice, the implementation of ideas, or the modification of a behavior that science has proven to be able to creep up on us towards our benefit. There are things that are good for us on a physiological and psychological level that the majority of us can’t really begin to understand the intricacies of. These are coping skills and behaviors that literally make us heal and feel better no matter how down and out or self sabotaging we are. It's too our default that we might now be able to feel it or believe it at that moment in time. Positive change feeds and breeds positive change. A stable baseline is the goal for building the foundation we grow and change from as humans. Before you can 'bounce back' or “make a comeback,” you have to be able to get up and move. You need to be able to think clearly and rationally. You need your basic needs met. You need time to recognize the process of change. There are a lot of ways you can change your physical state of mind and body for the better while going through something difficult or traumatic. These suggestions also work while you are working to build yourself back from an episode, loss, trauma, or setback. I thought it was most important to start there. These are things scientifically proven to enhance your mental health that can be done for free and on your demand with appropriate placement and discretion. I went over ten items, I apologize, I am working on that. 15 Things You Can Do Right Now to Recover from a Setback 1. Sleep. Your brain needs recovery time. Science can't stop telling us how important sleep is. It is the time your brain shuts your body down physically to process and consolidate information and regenerate your psyche. Regular solid sleep hygiene is the number one thing doctors, clinicians, and scientists recommend for supporting and stabilizing a mental baseline.
Without sleep your mind and body cannot function homeostatically. This ultimately ends up affecting things like mental agility, perceptions, and mood. Even if you don’t like to sleep or feel alert and don’t want to sleep, doing it anyway is critical to creating and maintaining. A stable sleep cycle is the best thing you can do for yourself in order to thrive. 2. Go outside. You’re a human being. You need sunlight and fresh air. Ten years ago that would sound almost condescending but having survived the Covid-19 Pandemic globally, we all have a new understanding of what isolation can do to our minds. Anxiety, social anxiety, and depression grow as the walls close in if we don’t go outside and expose ourselves to the elements of nature that were meant to enhance our lives as creatures of the Earth.
We need vitamins from sunlight and oxygen from plants and trees. If you find yourself stuck in your own world without leaving over time you will lose the motivation to leave and decompensate mentally and physically. Even if you don’t want to do it. Go outside. Take a walk. Breathe in new and open air. You need it. 3. Talk to someone. Keeping the need for outside exposure in mind, we as people, don’t just need air and sunlight. We need social engagement to prevent getting stuck in our own narrowing worlds. I am not saying go to therapy or tell someone your darkest secrets. I am saying to have human interaction in society regularly. Texting and phone calls limit our exposure to the reality of our society and humanism. Even if the only thing you do is interact with a cashier at the gas station, say hello to a stranger at the park, or go to work, those things keep you and your mind engaged socially. Talk to someone everyday. I cannot express this enough. 4. Take a Shower and Other Basic Hygiene. These things aren't just healthy for you and make you feel better. They establish a healthy preventative maintenance routine, boost immunity, enhance mood, and help avoid social awkwardness and stigma. They are also the first habits that tend to start slipping when someone falls into a depression or starts losing insight and judgment to psychosis. I don't know how many patients I have seen wander hospitals responding to internal stimuli or sunken with suicidality and depression go without bathing for weeks. Then, after a few days of medical monitoring and setting goals to shower and change their clothing, they wake up and decide to do it. Then they do it. The change in their progress and mood is indescribable. It is almost instantaneous. Once the desire to take care of themselves returns and they see a path of action that is achievable, they achieve. I always tell the people in my life to watch their daily habits. Especially if prone to mental illness. If they can notice a change in routine maintenance and hygiene they can choose to act on these things preventatively and possibly avoid or lessen an oncoming episode. 5. Exercise- It may sound condescending in a time of need but we all know by now that physical exercise is good for us in so many ways that we have been indoctrinated into a world that pretty much tells us that we have to do it to live. As a human being, so far, I have found this to be true. The other side of this is that not only does it improve our biological functioning and boost our confidence, it enhances mood. If you’re stuck in a bad episode of dissonance or depression, a good workout will change your mood and your physiological processing. It may be hard to talk yourself into starting if depressed or sedentary but if you do it anyway, science says that you will change the way you feel and have a better life longevity. 6. Masturbate- I’m sure this one will catch attention but it is just as reasonable and scientific as the topics above and below it. When you orgasim, you relieve tension and release powerful endorphins.
Those are the chemicals that make our brains perceive feelings emotionally and physically. As long as you use discretion in choosing time and location, masturbating is a quick way to get in touch with yourself and reset how you feel psychologically and physically. It exerts excess energies and chemically changes the way we feel inside our bodies and minds. It is an excellent, on the spot, coping strategy when executed responsibly. 7. Eat and Hydrate- Not to sound like the cocky sidekick of “exercise” eating and hydrating is something we forget to take in mind when we are living in society. We get busy and forget to eat, eat unhealthily, and at odd times. We diet and binge. We swear off food categories and we lose portion control. It takes mindfulness to maintain a healthy diet. I’m not saying you need to commit to a program in a time of crisis. I’m saying, do you know when the last time you ate or drank water and had some electrolytes was? Do you know if your body has the fuel it needs biologically? Do you know if your blood sugar or dehydration level has started to have physical effects on your body or your brain?
If you find yourself angry and tired without reason, see what happens if you stop and eat something and drink some water. You might not even remember how bad you felt before and be able to think more clearly. 8. Set Goals- Goal setting is something I have come to find myself doing daily to navigate myself through difficult times towards a positive and progressive present. Writing something down and putting the parameters of time on it not only helps you psychologically affirm the desire to achieve something but it leaves you proof of the accomplishment after the fact. That will set the deck against negative self talk and stagnation. You know you want or need to complete a task in order to reach whatever outcome you desire. Your mind solidifies it into a motivated memory point for the inspiration of behavioral change. It reminds you that you want something. It shows you that you believe it can be achieved.
Achievement and change shape our self confidence and build our physical and material reality. Sometimes my goals are as simple as trying something new or learning something new within the year. I create a list every year of things I want to do or experience and hang it on the wall. One year that was how I learned to make cheesecake. One year it was why I made time to go to my favorite place, the beach to make memories. Goal setting has allowed me to see some cool concerts, get certified in cool skills professionally, make some of the money I needed, and psychologically process. It allowed me to navigate my reality with an action plan while I ran out a few statute of limitations. This year my goals are daily and simple. I can’t think as abstractly or complexly as I used to. I have to chronically reinforce my belief in myself in basic and tangible ways to stay sane. Sometimes my goals are just to get through the day at work and go to the grocery store. Sometimes they are to write something. Sometimes they are to let go of something subconsciously. My record for follow through is far better when I sit down and write it out and put a time limit on it. Whatever you are trying to live through, motivate, change, or create for yourself, the act of writing it down begins the brainstorming of logical action planning and success. You deserve that. You deserve to see that you believe you can do it. 9. Self Check and Introspection. Be honest with yourself. I don’t lie to myself as a practice. I can hold myself accountable to myself. When I take the time to introspect. It’s easy to get caught up living by the rules of survival and fall into the consequences of human behavior in complicated social dynamics. We start thinking or behaving in ways that affect us negatively in body, mind, and spirit. I know myself pretty well. I have some default tendencies and maladaptive coping strategies that have run up and punched me in the face with self sabotage. My brain and body have experienced some major traumas. I understand that is going to have its deficits. In my meditation planning I have a bullshit checkpoint. I make it a point to stop and get grounded. Then I think about things in my life literally, logically, and objectively. I have to be my own devil’s advocate. I can’t just get back on my bullshit and stay there. It wouldn’t be my bullshit if it was a state for progress.
I know myself. I know that I have an inclination towards impulsivity. I prefer to think irrationally. I am ignorant to so many things that it is a scary disadvantage. I'm also over-educated. I take time to ask myself if what I am doing and what I am thinking or feeling is logical. Is it true to myself? I regularly ask myself, “Am I being delusional or deceiving myself by thinking or acting however I may be?” Am I being honest with myself about myself? Thinking patterns and behaviors at home, at work, and in relationships are crucial areas to be willing to explore and call yourself out on. Taking care of the part of yourself that wants to make sure you always want the best for yourself means taking the time to be objective. Don’t be avoidant of asking yourself questions. Telling yourself the truth is the best gift you can give yourself sometimes. 10. Keep Trying to Persevere. You’re going to keep living. You're better off if you keep trying to strive for whatever it is that drives you forward. I tend to think my brain anchors this philosophy somewhere between radical acceptance and hope. No matter what is going on or how I feel, life and time are constantly going forward. I am alive. I have no desire or intention to harm myself. I am going to stay alive in my environment until time says otherwise.
My environment is going to continue to change with time. I will never have control over life and how life happens externally. I can only do my best to try my best to be safe and content or create change towards the better at any given moment. Don’t stop trying to motivate yourself forward if you are unstable or want to give up on yourself. When you are running against the limits of time and change it's easy to feel overwhelmed and out of control of circumstances. It is also easy to miss opportunities to recognize success. It’s already hard enough to fall and get back up. So get up before you can't anymore. Then every step is motivated by resilience and that energy breeds progress. Please choose to live while you are alive. 11. Grieve- It's going to happen anyway. If you have experienced a traumatic loss or circumstance then you honestly have no idea where your mind is at or how you will mentally and physically react to recover. The psychological and biological effects of loss or bereavement are complicated while your guard is already down and your heart literally feels broken. I’m not talking about the first couple months right now. The first couple months no one can tell you what or how to feel. We just react and survive until the desire to live and thrive begins to return with demand for adaptation. We often don’t remember the first weeks or months after a loss clearly. We make irrational decisions or avoid action at all cost. Some Days it’s agonizing enough to keep breathing. We block it out in self preservation and denial or shock.
After time passes other days start to feel normal until a moment triggers and memory. If we don’t take time to process our grief it just thickens and becomes detrimental to our physical health and wellbeing. Allow yourself to process whatever it is you need to for as long as you need to. If nothing has changed in six to twelve months you might need to seek support for a better chance at thriving in the long term. Be kind to yourself when the holidays, birthdays, or Tuesday afternoons come around and kick you in the ass. It’s a shitty part of being human. If you're agitated and don't know why. Be kind to yourself. If you need to cry for a day, allow it. You’re human. 12. Breathe and Meditate- If you are alive, you’re breathing. You can meditate, I can’t begin to confidently explain all the benefits of meditation and breathing exercises. There are so many ways and styles of practice that I would do it an injustice so I'm keeping it basic. Science keeps telling us more and more ways it benefits us for the better. No matter how we feel or rhino we feel. And the effects are instantaneous. Don't get hung up on perfectionism. Fact is fact. The practice, not the mastry, of breathing exercises and meditation will enhance your state of body and mind.
As a former practitioner I was always nervous to teach meditation. Other clinicians seemed more educated or low key in temperament. I have a hard time holding a count to ten. I have a hard time remembering a count after four or five repetitions. I expect precision in everything I do. There is no stillness there. I have had ultimate control of self and presence in some devastating moments. I have also had panic attacks I thought would kill me while sitting in traffic. My psyche has been time tested. It shows me how little control and how willful I can be with such inconsistency that it is maddening on the harder days. Meditation has never done less than make me feel better. If you’re stuck in a moment try something as simple as inhaling by counts of 4. Inhale through your nose for 4 counts. Read the full article