"Hi, hello there. So glad you could all come to this meeting I put together. There's a lot to talk about so lets start with-" Abel was cut off by loud laughter.
"Unholy shit, I thought Belphegor was joking when she said YOU put together. What? You gonna offer marshmallows and talk about feelings with pillows?" Satan asked while laughing uncontrollably.
"Well, no, I wanted to talk about-"
"Mate, shut up. I'm trying to focus here," Mammon said attempting to use his fingers to do a kickflip on the toy skateboard. "Bloody Hell, this is bullshit."
"This is kinda important so it'd be nice if I could ha-"
"Hey, let's decide what to eat after this meeting. I'm thinking some tacos would be cool. What about you Gloom?"
"For once I'm in agreement with you Pep. Though I'm getting fish on my. Maybe extra spicy."
"I'll look up some Mexican restaurants close by. Unless you all want to take a trip into the human world. I'm sure we can swing that as long as we're quick about it. Though maybe we should wait until Beezlebub gets here. She's normally late to these things."
"Lucifer's Hell, he's under the fucking table! What a little fucking bitch," Satan said, laughing even hard while hitting the table. "Best meeting ever!"
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"Stupid, fucking, bullshit surprise meeting. I was in the middle of a bitching party and it was getting to the best fucking part," Beelzebub said walking past and open door before stopping and looking inside. "Luci? You in here?"
"...No? This is a dream. You're dreaming right now. I'm dream Lucifer." Surly this would work this time, right?
"...Bitch, you're lucky we're such good friends or I'd gut check you right now. Where the fuck have you been Luci?"
"Oh you know, doing important Hell things and what not. Spending time with my daughter too, getting caught up with her life. W-w-w-what about you? Still partying it up and living the life?"
"Uh, no, no I haven't been. At least not like I used to. Shit's kinda been crappy since you left. Satan's went full control mode and put a bunch of bullshit rules in place. Not to mention running around saying he's ruled before you fell which the rest of us know is bullshit. Not to mention Adam being more of a pain in the ass since Lilith disappeared and you locked yourself away. His son Abel called a meeting. Adam must want to be even more of an asshole."
"I'm going to have to say no on that since Adam is dead after being stabbed. Like, he was stabbed a LOT by this tiny small sinner. Kinda funny to watch actually. So now Abel's in charge. Real great kid, try to work with him, kay?" Lucifer then reached to grab something.
Beelzebub just stared at Lucifer for a moment, as if waiting for him to say he was joking or something. "Unholy Hell you're serious? Adam is fucking dead? Bitch, what the fuck has been going on up there? Satan banned any of us Sins from going up to your ring, or from really traveling to each other's rings without his permission."
"He did WHAT?! That red dragon looking motherfucker! He KNOWS I always wanted all of us to freely travel to each other's rings!" Lucifer stormed over to a desk and pulled out a paper. Then he began writing rather aggressively on it.
"Luci, focus here. What the fuck has been going on? Adam was fucking killed? What does that mean? Is Heaven attacking? Do we need to defend Hell?"
"Hm? Oh, no, everything is all chill now. I mean, it was a bit touch and go for a bit, though what with a Sinner being redeemed, getting into Heaven, and Emily saving a large chunk of my ring all the Sinners and Overlords have calmed down," Lucifer said then began digging through the drawers.
"...What the fuck has been going on up there?" Beelzebub would have to ask Charlie or something. "And what the fuck are you looking for that has so much of your attention?"
"It's uh, something Lilith made to keep some of the more, intense Sinner Overlords in line. Causes them a lot of pain. My uh, secret of not being able to hurt Sinner's kinda sorta got discovered. Though I can't find it anywhere."
"Luci, you're a fucking mess," Beelzebub said walking over. "Come on, I know you're the Sin of Pride, though at least let us help. We may not all get along, especially you and Satan, though we all respect each other. Mammon said he even set you a bribe. You know how stingy that fucker is with his money."
Lucifer sigh's, then writes a bit more on the paper. "You're right, though I'm still trying to figure shit out. Just, give everyone this. Has my official sigil and everything."
"Alright, I got you," Beelzebub said taking the paper and rolling it up. "It's nice to see you outside your room at least, and that you've been talking to Little Apple Pie. We've missed you, ya know?"
"It's good to see you too Beelzebub. You've always been easy to talk to. I will try to start being around more when I feel ready, I mean it. Good luck," Lucifer said disappearing in flames.
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"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I was in the middle of a bitching party and-" Beelzebub came in to seeing Satan still laughing uncontrollably, Mammon being Mammon, Levithan and Asmodeus talking lunch, and Belphegor sleeping. "Yeah, yeah this seems about right," Beelzebub said before flying over to Satan and handing him the rolled up paper.
"Okay okay, I'm good," Satan said catching his breath and taking the paper. "Way too much fun making fun of Abel." The Sin then unrolls it and reads it. "What in Lucifer's Hell?! When did Lucifer come here?!" He asked finally earning everyone's attention.
"I found him sneaking around in Lilith's office. He was looking for something. Didn't find it, though I fill him in on a couple of things," Beelzebub said flying into her seat while Satan glares at her. "Yeah, be pissed off, but fuck you. Restricting us has always been bullshit. Now, where's Abel? Luci said to be cool, so let's be cool."
"Right here," Abel said raising his hand from underneath the table before slowly coming out. "Can I speak now?"
Belphegor finally woke up, sitting up as best she could. "Yes, I believe everyone is now focused on the meeting," the Sin said with a yawn. "Go ahead young Abel."
"Y-Yes, of course," Abel said clearing his throat. "Well, I wanted to hold this meeting to let everyone know that there will be no more Extermination's. We're going in a different direction for redeeming Sinner's and not killing them."
"I'm sorry, did this little fucker just say redeem?" Mammon asked scratching his chin. "That's a fucking joke, right?"
"Nope, Luci confirmed it himself when I talked to him. I guess Little Apple Pie has been busy these past years. Something we'd know about if SOMEONE didn't ban us from freely going to other's rings," Beelzebub said looking at Satan how puffed out some smoke. "By the way, Luci's secret about not being able to hurt Sinner's got blown, so he asked us to help out with that." All the Sin's would look at Satan for conformation.
Satan burns the paper in his hand in anger. "Yes, that is true, and he also ordered to lift the restrictions of travel between rings for us. And, I fucking hate Lucifer for this. I'm a Master Bitch of Bitchness," he said making all the other Sin's stifle a laugh except for Belphegor. "Whatever, let's focus on this fucking meeting."
"Alright, cool. Because I have a lot to talk about," Abel said summoning a large amount of paperwork making everyone groan.