my dick prefers you!!! @foxglowe
[ ♂ ] — Haydn, he was the kind of guy who’d never lie. Conditions applied-- dick size ( a hardened dick was always a little bigger than its turned off counterpart, so technically he could have the biggest one without ever knowing, because no girl turned him on enough, elementary science!! ), money-wise ( it was all relative ), and when it came to protecting someone. This time? Boy was protecting his dad from the painful truth of knowing that his son was taking his car to sharpen his voyeurism skills at the mall ( cue Haydn trying to convince everyone that high school girls with their short skirts were obviously just asking for it ).
Tutoring children in piano-playing in exchange of great amounts of cash was good enough to seal the deal.
His driving skills weren’t too drastic; there was the usual dry brake at either the stop signs or the red lights because his eyes were to focused on some woman’s ass wobbling into his rear-view mirror. Or the typical slowing down technique so he could yell out a few slurs compliments directed at a girl’s chest. But overall? A great citizen.
So great he even picked up girls for other reasons than to get the soul sucked out of him for the sake of a few bucks-- he was a good guy, y’know. So maybe the car-rental wasn’t exactly to check out students in skirts, but it was part of the path. Because going to pick up a university student ( ew, they were always just too.. philosophical. ‘Suck my dick’ wasn’t an allegory of how life ends when pleasure starts-- or something ) whose body defied her words ( because dicks cannot grasp mixed signals!!! ) wasn’t as entertaining as he thought it would be. So maybe he stopped for a few minutes, close to an hour, at the mall, whistling and winking away his male dominance.
( He’d rather lose it there than with the “ university student ”. )
( Though the opposite could be said of his virginity, if he still had it. )
But it was the waiting that ticked him. Should he, again, try another move on her when she would get in the car? Asking sounded really fucking dumb, though she did kind of look that easy, y’know. Unless he’d purposely never mention anything about dick-pleasing-- that would automatically turn her into a puddle of sexual desire, that’s for fuckin’ sure!!
❝ Y’know, if you trained your pussy muscles half as much as ya’ did for your brain, you’d be twice as attractive. That’s maths for you! Some women, they shove in jade eggs ‘cause they don’t got any dicks that want to help ‘em flex. You wouldn’t wanna become a jade egg lady now, would you? ❞
So much for following the plan!