#franciscorps

[livingthepurelife]

I’m in the United States again!

Pura Vida!

It had been 285 days without being in the U.S. Especially for me, at least a slight culture shock is inevitable. I’d say it’s definitely not as drastic as the culture shock going down to Costa Rica since I grew up in the U.S. but it’s amazing how quickly one can adjust to a pretty different lifestyle. We flew back July 9th and will be here just for the weekend. On Monday we’ll be headed to the Genesee Trappist Monastery to have our transition retreat (originally it was scheduled to be in Canada, but it was too much travelling and no time for touristy things, so we changed). I’m super excited because I’ve always wanted to go to this monastery when I was at school in Rochester, but I never had an opportunity to go. (It was also one of the favorite place in the world of my former campus minister at Rochester, and I think he’s pretty cool, so of course I want to see it). 

Okay, so culture shocks: how big the buildings are, how new/fancy the cars look, food, seeing a lot of white people, hearing English all the time, throwing used toilet paper in the toilet bowl, speaking English in public with strangers (like excuse me, thank you, hello, etc.), style and dress, going out and seeing white people dancing (and not specific latino partner dancing), using texting and calls on my smartphone, sooo many less bugs, more comfortable temperatures in the house, streets being wider and I’m sure there’s more. It’s just some things that I’m like “oh yeah, I forgot about this.” Not that I forgot, but I’d say a part of cultural assimilation is being present to what is instead of focusing on how it’s different, especially when it’s negative. Undoubtedly, there are things I will miss about the Costa Rican culture. There’s a warmth and friendliness and laidback style of the people. Going downtown, the setup of the shops and places is kinda of tight, but open to outside, so there are always people interacting with each other, and it feels like a huge community. Not everyone talks to each other, but there’s such an inviting presence, which for sure is definitely intimidating for me as a first-time foreigner at the beginning of my time in Costa Rica. I must confess though, that my lens of Costa Rica and my lens of the U.S. may also be skewed due to spending time with different kinds of populations. I have been kind of a typical middle-class white girl in the States, getting education and following a pretty good path, and in doing those things I surrounded myself with people of similar status with similar goals. In Costa Rica, I spent a lot of time with people who are poor and with people who are in religious life (and I lived in a friary, haha). The majority of workers at Manos make somewhere around minimum wage, and by taking the bus all the time, we were with people who couldn’t afford cars. By being in a Franciscan program and living in a friary, I had a different focus for my daily living. However, regardless of these differences, there is still an essence of culture and people that one can pick up. (and even then, culturally, the U.S. is so different because it’s such a big country).

So I’ll probably post a few more times, but right now I don’t really have any particular feelings about anything. The experience is wanting to sink in, but it will have to in its own time. I am currently unable to process things, but that’s not new. I have small moments where it beings to hit me, and then it disappears, so we’ll see when and how it hits me and hope that this transition retreat will be just what I need to carry my FrancisCorps experience with me while continuing on. As always thanks for your support!

Peace and all good

Paz y bien

[livingthepurelife]

10 more days at Manos Abiertas

Holy smokes! I really only have 10 work days left! I have a few days between work and going back to Syracuse to clean and essentially get myself together. I am so so enjoying life and squeezing the joy out of every moment. Something that keeps popping into my head is how I can't wait to meet these chiquillos in heaven where'll they'll be in their complete and pure form without suffering. I will miss them dearly and will always have them in my heart, but I know there's an eternity with my chiquillos ahead of me. For now all I can do is love with all I've got. I've come to a sense of peace and love with my year, including the fact I'm leaving so soon. People are great and the ordinary is what makes being alive such a gift. Hugs and thanks to you for your support and love! Peace and all good Paz y bien

[livingthepurelife]

Pura Vida! I made this blog to share the happenings of my experience here, and I feel that I almost don’t have anything more to share, but at the same time there is so much to share. Of course there are the small things, like when my mom and I waited for a long time to exchange dollars for Costa Rican currency and then we weren’t able to but a really nice stranger took us to a neighboring place and waited and used her ID to change the money for us. Or like when we went to Nicaragua, I got a full manicure for less than $3. Or how one of my best friend’s from college is visiting Costa Rica with some other friends and is spending the afternoon and evening with me before he flies back. Or how we have a new coffee maker in the men’s house so we don’t have to use a broken filter and a dish since we had no carafe. Or getting to go to Volcan Poas with Casie, Bob and Margarita (Bob is the American physician who spends his retirement volunteering at Manos). Bob and Margarita shared their story with us, and they are such an awesome couple. I actually got to spend a night in Poas for a friend’s birthday (Ricarda volunteers at Justin’s, Erin’s, and Bianca’s places and is a dear friend of the community) and got to enjoy and experience what life is like outside the city. Or I could share how the summer retreat gave me time to think about what I want to carry with me as I begin to think about leaving Costa Rica. I could also talk about how Lauren came and I got to spend a week on vacations with my sister. It was so fun and I’m so blessed. Being able to share with Grace and Casie helped me to understand that when you’ve done FrancisCorps, it’s like being part of a bigger family with so much support and understanding and love. I think about my own community and how much I love them. We truly shared ourselves with each other in a deep and open way. We are a group of 4 extremely incompatible strangers who met on the 16th of August who came together, not knowing what was in store, and now we share a bond that is unique in a life-changing experience. These three people are the ones who know most about my experience because they’re on the inside with me going through it too. I think about the Germans, especially Simon. I found an incredible friendship with someone from the other side of the world. I had no idea I’d be friends with Germans. I’ve always loved Spanish and Latino culture, but it feels like it’s become more of a part of my blood. And my flight leaves exactly a month from today on July 9th. I feel that I’ve squeezed every last drop out this year that I could and that I’ve learned what God has wanted to teach me here. I feel ready to go but I don’t want to leave at the same time. A huge chunk of my heart is here and always will be. So I think that means I’m doing some things right. It’s really hard for me to not think about the impending departure, so I must try extra hard to be present and to love with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and all my mind. Because in loving those around me, I am loving God. Peace and all good

Paz y bien

[livingthepurelife]

Moms are the best!

Pura vida! By the way, I thought I had uploaded the previous post a week ago, so we have two posts close ti each other. There is nothing better in the world than a mother's love. I'd imagine it's the closest depiction of God's love in "human form". My mom has been here since last week, and boy, do I love my momma. Her reassuring, gentle yet firm, and kinda presence has been absolutely wonderful, not to mention her amazing-ness at Manos with me. All the men I work with are already in love with her and want to be her best friend. She's got a gift with people (must be where I get it from, haha) and I'm thrilled to have had the opportunity to truly share with her the place that has captured my heart and changed my life. An awesome bonus too was an opportunity to cook meals for the community with her. Nothing like mom's home cooking. So yeah, what a blessing of a week! Getting to go to the beach together via boat, fly in a little plane over the country, going on a coffee tour of one of the world's best coffees, being able to see a lot of vegetation and tropical animals, meeting the friars (so great), and getting to serve those in need. And the added bonus of fresh mangoes and limes and staying in a friary with some gorgeous landscape and a lovely peacefulness. I'd say it was a good trip, and since she's a pretty honest person, I bet she'd tell me if she didn't like it. Anyway, this past week confirmed I still have the best mom in the world and I'm beyond happy and thrilled and ecstatic to have shared my journey and Costa Rica with her. Until then, peace and all good! Paz y bien

[livingthepurelife]

Pura Vida!!! Alrighty! So I really am trying to post more often and share more of my day to day experiences (if you haven't noticed.) So last time I talked about life, parents and family were visiting. At the same time, Simon's mom and sister were visiting and ended up staying a night with us in the covento. Simon is an absolutely wonderful friend, maybe because he's so good at tolerating my quirks. Haha. But it was awesome to meet his family as well as to go on a little paseo to La Catarata de La Paz (waterfall gardens) which is like a wildlife refuge for animals that were previously in bad conditions due to maltreatment or whatever. It was great to see all kinds of Costa Rican animals up close, as well as to see beautiful waterfalls. I love nature, and Costa Rica has some amazing national parks! I also discovered a frozen yogurt place with Nicole, my dear JuFra friend, and a mutual friend I had actually met through Anna the Swedish physical therapist volunteer. Little adventures are fun! This past week we also had three friars come over to teach us how to make arepas, which is a traditional Venezuelan food. Talk about delicious!!! The company was great too. These friars are some of my favorite people I've met. Woo! So my last update is we went to Volcan Irazu. Supposedly when it's clear you can see both the Caribbean sea and the Pacific Ocean; however, let's just say we were lucky it cleared up enough for us to even see the main crater attraction. Thank goodness we paid the resident's price of $2 instead of the foreigner's price of $15. It was fun, and naturally we made an American friend who is studying abroad this semester in Costa Rica (he had to pay $15, hehe). It was a great day trip, and now I've been to a volcano! My community is pretty close now and I'd say we all appreciate each other more. It's very special to go on trips together and to spend time together. Too bad we only have 2.5 months left. I'm really never going to be ready to leave. I'm so in love. But I guess that means I'm doing it right. So, until next time! Paz y bien P.S. my mom is visiting in ~1 week... way so overly excited to share my Costa Rica world with her!!!!

[livingthepurelife]

A poem to share

Hola Pura Vida! A kiddo died at Manos on Good Friday after much suffering from a rare disease. May he rest in peace. I wanted to share this poem to allow me to share the experience. Thanks for reading! You are all blessings in my life! Paz y bien Death's call The line goes flat and beeps resound The room switches from serenity to stress From quietness to clutter And from neatness to mess The mess is not the items in the room But rather the disturbance that lies within Knowing death is pounding on the door Just asking for the body to give in The situation is all too familiar And he has suffered more than he should Will he make it this time like he always has Or will death take him for good Death indeed took him this day But darkness is not present at all Because he is finally free from pain And accepted death's relentless call In this new life he lives He rejoices endlessly In beautiful ineffable paradise Where he's loved tremendously As I sit on the brink of two worlds From the earthly glimpsing into the celestial I know something in me has changed And my faith has become essential I can't continue unless I come to peace With all the suffering that I see And so I love them like never before And give them all my heart and all of me

[livingthepurelife]

A story from today

It was a moment of pure helplessness. I was changing the diaper of another muchacho and heard him mumble something inaudible. And then suddenly he started peeing himself. He looked at me with eyes of shame and sadness. A man in his 40's with the mind of an 18 month old. Sometimes he can pee on his own, but he always needs help. He knows to go to the toilet but often pees himself. He'll never get past this stage. He forgets he can walk and will often crawl around. He never finishes eating a meal without encouragement and sometimes scolding. Singing and dancing and playing ball are his obsessions. Every item can turn into a play telephone and he will fall asleep in the most random places at the most random times. He is a grown man yet a vulnerable little boy, and he will always be this way. I love him so much and think he's so adorable, but in that look of utter helplessness today, my heart broke a little. This is his life, thanks to bad medication when he was younger. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. He will always be an enchanting and helpless yet beautiful man with a child's mind and heart.

[livingthepurelife]

Update!!!!

So hello world! It's been quite some time since I've given an update. I'm doing absolutely wonderfully and am so grateful for all my experiences here. How blessed am I!!!! So here we go into all the excitement that's been my life. In the last week of February there were about 30 physical therapy students that came to Manos Abiertas. They're all in their final year, and it was a blessing to have them because we were able to go on two paseos, which is like a little trip. On Monday they went to the hot springs (I didn't go because there wasn't space for me) and on Tuesday we went to a Christian pool/camp area. Each p.t. student was assigned a Manos chiquillo, and so they all got so much attention and loving! I've never seen so many of them happy at the same time! It made me bubble with gratitude to see these people who've stolen my heart to get the love they deserve! Evelyn was happy too, but running all over the place. She was so busy!!! Not all the chiquillos got to go, mostly just those in the back (not in the clinica due to health risks and whatnot). On Wednesday we had a dance party at Manos, and they came all the way until Monday, but Wednesday night I got really sick and Friday I left for Panama to go on my second border run. So Panama was lovely! It would've been better if I wasn't sick, but I didn't have a choice and had to leave the country. Panama is so gorgeous though. I went to Bocas del Toro and loved it! Saturday night we stayed at a hostel that was actually built over the water, so there was a deck with holes in it to make a swimming pool. How ingenious! It was lovely and my heart broke to see the poverty once we got away from touristy parts. However, regardless of the poverty, I truly found Panama to be a beautiful place. It was weird crossing the border because I could instantly feel that I was in another country. Panama actually reminded me more of my Peru experience because for some reason it's lumped with the Andean countries, like Ecuador, Colombia, and Peru. Anyways, Panama was lovely. The second week of March, we had 33 students come on their spring break from Duke, UNC-chapel hill, and Catholic University of America. They stayed at the retreat center of the convento and made for an awesome week! I played ping pong for hours and hours and got to share my Manos world with 8 volunteers. It was refreshing for me to spend time with Americans who were unfamiliar with the Tico culture but wanted to learn and know about my experience here. It reminded me of how much I've learned and how I've grown. Not to mention the amount of validation I got. They had group discussion everyday to share about their days, so one day a girl I didn't really know approached me and said that everyone's been calling me a saint. I was flabbergasted. I was like "What? I've just been changing diapers and playing with the kiddos." But it was an incredible sensation to know I'm making a difference and maybe inspiring these students. I really enjoyed having them and the conversations I shared with many of them. It allowed me to take a step back and see what my year looks like from the outside. I connected strongly with many of them and was reminded of why this year is so special for me. Not to mention getting to go to the hot springs with all the students at the end of the week. We went to Tabacón, and oh my goodness was it lovely. Good food and good company and paradise scenery. What a special adventure!!!! Another adventure was going to San José with Erin and Cathía (Erin and Justin's boss at their worksite) to watch a play about Sr. Romero. He was a huge revolutionary for social justice in El Salvador and will actually be canonized soon to become a saint. Supposedly they'll be acting this play on his canonization day. Romero is one of Erin's biggest role models and inspirations, so it was awesome to see how alive and passionate she become when talking about him. Getting to know Cathía was also a blessing. She radiates intentionality and good will for all and is so passionate about her mission at Hogar. What a beautiful play and with such wonderful company too! So a random side story: on my way home one day, I met a 17 year old muchacho who wears hearing aids like I do. He is one of the ~5 people I have met who, like myself, have a profound hearing loss since birth, wear hearing aids, and speak perfectly. We are also integrated normally in society. Most people would join Deaf culture or have a greater difficulty with speaking. This guy actually is learning English, and it wasn't bad! I just get so excited meeting people like this because it reminds me I'm not alone in this life experience, even if I'm super rare. Another happening: we had a few friars (Fr. Carlo and Fr. Yorman) over to share coffee and they brought homemade bread. It was absolutely delicious. I keep getting to see the friars and I just love them so much. I get soooo excited every time I get to see them! They are hilarious and wise and young and enthusiastic. Not only am I getting in better touch with the friars, but I have been talking to several of last year's FrancisCorps group. They've shared some wonderful insight about their experiences and even though I've never met them in person, I feel this special connection with them. They lived where I'm living and walked the steps I'm walking. Pretty special, huh. So I've been in the Casa de Hombres (men's house) at Manos, and oh my gosh, I am in love. These men have won me over. And every morning when I enter through the front gate in front of the house, I see their eyes light up. Some even hurry over to greet me. I am very very welcome in the Casa de Hombres. They show me so much love and it's so much at times because there's one of me and 17 of them, so you can imagine how it can get a little crowded. There's a kiddo named Jorge who has endless energy and gets into all kinds of mischief. Once he ripped a page out of a book and I caught him trying to stuff it in his diaper so that no one would know what he did. Avelino is an adorable 40-something year old man who thinks he's younger than 2 years old and loves singing and dancing even though he's not eloquent in any manner. I could go on forever about each kiddo. The youngest in the Casa de Hombres is actually like 14, and most of them are over 20. So, I actually changed my schedule. I go in an hour earlier and leave an hour earlier. This gives me more time after work, and the days fly by so much faster. Things are so slow after lunch and there is more need in the morning, so the change is definitely good! I get to see them sleeping in the morning too. They are so cute to wake up and I seeing the rowdy ones look so peaceful when sleeping. They are so precious. I think maybe this is kind of what it's like to be a mom. To somehow have a heart that constantly grows bigger. Taking care of kiddos can be repetitive and so much work, but when they come to you and show you how much they love you makes it all worth it. Despite the amount of messes you have to clean, if they spill their food or don't get their pee into the toilet, if they like to get into trouble or mess with things they aren't supposed to, and if they don't listen to you even when you know they understand you. It drives me absolutely bonkers but I just love these kiddos and I know they love me too. Accompanying the hecticness of Manos Abiertas chiquillos each day is a book I'm currently reading. It's called "Compassion - Living in the Spirit of St. Francis" and it is wonderfully written and states so many truths about my experiences and what's been happening internally to me. It also gives me encouragement to have more patience and to have the strength to keep going and loving and giving all my heart. I really like that in compassion, we connect in our humanness. Thus, in my service, it's not about what I can give to these "lesser folks" but rather about me sharing my heart and being weak with the weak and vulnerable with the vulnerable. These men don't know how to be anything other than themselves, and they are so beautiful because they live and find joy in being alive. So I'd say if anyone has been giving, it's been these wonderful chiquillos, who suffer but find joy in life. So many of them have suffered abuse and abandonment, which makes their pasts sad and maddening. However, we know that their endings are happy and glorious because they are in the hands of love in a place that promises to care for them until death. So we had our Lenten retreat the weekend of Palm Sunday. It was about prayer and we focused on the spirituality of St. Clare, who essentially established the female aspect of Franciscan life. She's awesome because she focuses on contemplation and then imitating that contemplation. Contemplation is what I've been experiencing. I've become still and encountered God's presence. I've been overwhelmed by His love. I had shared with Fr. Rick (my director) about my experience and he informed me it was contemplation and also stipulated that I'm not understanding everything. He assured me that in due time I will be able to process and understand it but to just be open to the experience now. That was amazing how he almost exactly knew what I was feeling and experiencing. So I've been less frustrated and just allowing myself to encounter love and to experience life here for what is: one big blessing! In being able to enjoy the mundaneness of life, I have indeed become much more of a homebody, but that's alright. I still love seeing the world, but I'm content (instead of restless) to stay home. So last week was actually Holy week. Erin and I began it Wednesday night going to a Spanish version of Jesus Christ Superstar, which is a Broadway play. Thank goodness it was free because they lip sang. I had sat in the front in an attempt to follow the play better, and lucky me, I got blessed by "Jesus. " (He touched my head). After the play was over, Erin and I were able to get in a good laugh. We truly enjoyed the play, but probably for the wrong reasons. We appreciated their effort though. Haha. So, continuing Holy Week. JuFra was here and slept here in the retreat center connected to where we live, so I got to see them and hang out with them on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and some of Sunday (here almost everyone has Thursday and Friday free from work since it's a super Catholic country). I just think they're great. I got to see the friars a lot too, so we can all imagine how happy I was. As depressing as it can seem, I really love Good Friday. It's so humbling and special, not to mention the prayers at the service line up with the yearnings of my heart. The Easter Vigil is truly a beautiful celebration, and I just really like Easter. So, I got to be with JuFra and the friars as well as celebrate an amazing holiday! Not to mention we played soccer and volleyball on Saturday. What a wonderful experience!!!! Last note: Erin and Justin's families are visiting. It is super neat to meet them, and I feel there are so many things that make sense now that I know the parents. Haha. They're wonderful. My goodness, what a long post! A lot to catch up on! So in summary, I can't iterate enough how blessed I am and how much I love the people here!!!! I am falling in love deeper than I ever thought I could and am being rewarded hundredfold!!! May peace and all good be in your coming week!!! Paz y bien