Night Vale is like: here's a huge plot twist that reframes the entire world and we'll talk about it for 2.5 episodes, but remember that random guy who got murdered in ep 2?
Just for you freaks, I finished my first Night Vale fic.
I wrote most of this in August and just could not finish it, until today for some reason.
It is the story of how Carlos discovered his sabbatical location in the fall of 2011, and loosely based on the song "Legs Away" by Mother Mother. The music at the end that you can really only hear through headphones is what spurred me to write this, so you should go listen to it. Required listening, actually, I've just decided.
(3k words, some existentialism and death talk ahead)
All of Carlos' assignments from this week's field study were finally graded after a horrendous three hour grading session. It was now four in the morning and Carlos was unbelievably tired. Good thing he only had two hours to get some rest, considering he had a 7AM class to teach at the University of What It Is, plus the quite arduous daily commute it puts him through. He sat his phone on the night stand to charge in addition to checking that his alarm was indeed set. It was never not set before, but he just didn't want to inconvenience any of his students or faculty peers with being late because of one silly error. Having already changed into sweatpants and one of his many science pun t-shirts several hours and cups of coffee ago, he only had to switch out his grading labcoat for a sleeping labcoat. He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes from the long night he had and for the long day ahead, and folded the glasses neatly before he placed them next to his phone. He slipped under his periodic table print sheets and promptly collapsed into exhaustion on his pillow.
Carlos wakes up. Not suddenly, he still hasn't had much sleep in the past few days, but slowly, and with caution. He no longer feels his pillow beneath his head, nor his hair spilling out around him and grazing at his neck, nor the comforting embrace of his favorite sheets. Instead, he feels...gravel. His head squirms atop the tiny shifting pebbles and inside it grows worried at the prospect of this strange gravel dirtying up its hair, forcing it, or Carlos, to take a shower before work, which he was not planning on doing to save time. Carlos' eyes, drained of all energy from looking at pages after pages of first year's assignments, still refused to do their job. Carlos comes to realize this, and so, he starts to attack the issue with his other senses. He wouldn't be able to see much of anything without his glasses anyway.
He smells dry grass far away and used earth close up. He breathes in the temperate night air. If he focuses on not hearing the gravel beneath his hair, he can hear a slow bout of breathing, a still beating heart, and a lively buzz of activity, of intrigue.
He reaches out to feel anything but that awful gravel and grabs hold of something. A long, cold, metal stick. It curves on one end and ceases on the other, being replaced with a small glass sheet-oh it's his glasses. He places them atop his eyes and dramatically gains back his vision. First, he sees his hands, then the gravel and the grass, and then a sign.
"Welcome To Night Vale | "If You Lived Here, You'd Be Dead By Now""
"Well that's... informative," Carlos mumbled into the void. It was always easier for him to gather his thoughts when they weren't thoughts, and rather, spoken aloud.
"I should probably call Dr. Kayyali's office and tell her I'll be late. Maybe I could ask Rochelle to cover my class?" He looked around for his phone, even patting his sweatpants pockets down, but he didn't seem to have taken it with him, if he had any choice in the matter, that is. His previously slow breath hastened. He suddenly woke up on a gravel road outside of some strange town, most likely in the southwestern US due to the cacti and rock formations in the distance, which meant he was very far from home. He surveyed the immediate area in a tight circle to gather any data he may have missed. Like the other side of that sign. The 'Night Vale' side was a crisp evergreen with white text, while the other side was carrot-orange and had yellow text that read, "Welcome To Desert Bluffs | "We're All Smiles"". This 'Desert Bluffs' did sound more inviting, but it seemed he was much closer to Night Vale and would have to get help there, lest he also miss his 9 o'clock meeting. And so, he kept his scientist wits about him, and marched right into Night Vale.
He'd been walking for almost 20 minutes now, making very little progress. An empty corn field passed him by awhile ago, and he was now walking towards a rundown house with the letters "L. L." nailed to its mailbox. Perhaps this 'L.L.' could be of some help? Carlos mulled it over, weighing the endless cons to the pro, and absentmindedly strolled onto the highway. He froze like a baby fawn at the two growing balls of light. He hadn't yet achieved all he hoped to achieve, discovered all he hoped to discover, and yet, here he was. Face to face with the great beyond in some mysterious town. He felt a wave of fear flow through his body. Not flow, waft. And not fear, but a sudden warm wind, followed by smoke. He choked on the smoke before realizing,
"I'm not dead?" He looked behind him and, sure enough, that metal harbinger was still cruising down Route 800, like it hadn't just run him over. His scientific instincts kicked in as he launched an investigation, by trying to hitch a ride. He hadn't noticed any cars passing by earlier, but now the highway was filling up quickly. He could only see shadows of people in the driver's seats, and none of them pulled over to help the lost scientist. He tried knocking on the glass of one car's passenger-side window, only for his fist to pass clean through. He attempted to steady himself against the vehicle and fell to the rough asphalt.
"They're not...real?"
The next fifteen minutes blur. Tears whipped away by wind as Carlos runs the length of the highway, searching for a quiet place to gather his thoughts. He sees the highway's ramp up ahead, forcing his path to diverge. Right towards an elementary school or left towards town. He turns to the left, as no school would be open this early. At least he had some sense left after those paranormal cars were through with him. Although, this street, Earl Road, seems to be nothing but empty lots. And...a grocery store? He had never heard of a 'Ralph's' before, but he'd also never been to the west coast before. He speeds up his pace, praying to any god that the Ralph's had a phone he could use.
Nothing was real here either. Well, the Ralph's was real, the automatic doors opened for Carlos and he could still inspect the products-he wanted to inspect them thoroughly-but the people weren't real. He had attempted one of his least favorite activities, talking with strangers, at least 20 times by now, but not one shadow-being had heard him. He passed straight through their bodies and carts but they gave no reaction. Finally, while he was staring at the precariously stacked orange display, a small voice broke the noise.
"Sir, are you lost?" He feels a bony finger tap on his shoulder. He screams.
"Now now, young man, I can't help nobody screaming in the produce aisle. Where are you from, anyway? A pretty face such as yourself don't come here on vacation."
Carlos focuses on his breathing and composes himself before responding to the old lady.
"Um, yes, ma'am." He removes her weathered hand from his shoulder. "May I ask you something?"
She chuckles. "No need to be so formal. The name's Josie Ortiz. You need my help, don't you?"
"Y-yes, Josie. But, I wanted to ask, how can you...see me?"
"I haven't gone blind yet, and I suggest you change up that attitude before you leave this Ralph's more black and blue than a whale in a tar pit." She turns back to her cart and starts to walk away.
"Wait, that's not what I meant!" Josie looks back at Carlos. "I just- no one else can hear me or see me a-and I can walk through them? I'm just trying to get back home..." He feels tiny, hot tears welling in the corners of his eyes and sniffles.
"Ooooh, I see. Well, why don't ya head down to Cecil at his station?" She offers with a soft laugh. "I bet he could help you out."
"The station...oh, you mean the police station! The police would have to have a working phone. Thank you, Josie, so much." His voice drifts off, interspersed with footsteps as he runs back through the automatic doors into the early morning.
"Police station? The Sheriff's Secret Police won't help you-he's gone. Well, good luck finding your way home, interloper. Now, what aisle is the butter in this week?"
Carlos had run across almost all of Earl Road looking for the police station, but his legs were soon giving out as his energy stores depleted. He had passed a Subway, a local pizza shop, and an ice cream parlor, and was beginning to regret not having his wallet on him as he fell asleep, despite that being a really weird thing to do. He sat down on the curb and spread his tired legs out into the street since they couldn't get run over anyway. A portion of him wishes they would just, maybe, disappear? They had done a terrible job today at directing him towards any sort of safety. At this rate, he would never make it back home and he began to wonder if he had already written his will. That sounds like something he would've done by now, right? Any number of experiments could go horribly wrong, and he had wanted his best friend, Rochelle, to take his spot as 'Head of the Science department'. He wasn't sure if a last will had that power, but Dr. Kayyali liked him well enough that she might say yes.
But while he was going over his own funeral arrangements for only the second time that month, a loud car horn blared much too close. Carlos pressed the balls of his palms to his ears to such a degree that most people would think it more painful than a car horn. But those people would be wrong. The cacophony ceased, and Carlos looked up to see a man in a white pickup truck.
"Hey, interloper! Could ya move your legs out of the road?"
"Oh yes, of course!" Carlos scrambled back on his feet and made a mental note to google 'interloper definition' when he had access to the internet again. Wait... "You can see me?!"
"Of course, I can see ya! In fact, I saw you leaving the Ralph's just a few minutes ago, all excited and full of energy. I was leaving my buddy's place and was gonna pick up some food, but here you were again. All deflated on the side of the road. Son, are you out of luck?"
The man didn't seem much older than Carlos, perhaps even younger, but he made no rebuttal. He just nods and replies with the usual, "My day is spent and my spirit's dead."
The man nods in understanding, he reaches over the center console to unlock the passenger door. Before Carlos can object he adds, "Come on now, take a ride. You sit yourself in the passenger side, and I'll go your way cause I don't got much to do today." He pats the empty seat and Carlos slides in beside him.
"Thanks for the ride. My name's Carlos, by the way." He offers an approximation of a smile at the man driving the truck.
"I don't do small talk," the man shoots back as he adjusts his rear view mirror.
"Oh..." is all Carlos can muster as he shrinks further into the leather seat.
"I'm just messing with ya, kid. Name's Frank," he lets out more of a bark than a laugh while he punches Carlos' arm. "So, you ain't from round here. Got someplace you need to be?"
He had completely forgotten about his interaction with Josie on account of his empty stomach woes. "I think? This old woman said I should head down to the station, that they could help me out." He rubbed the sore spot on his arm.
"Josie? That doll, of course she would recommend Cecil. I mean, I would've too, everyone in town would, but those two have always been close pals." Frank shifted the car back to drive and turned left onto 5th. "What's your business in Night Vale, anyway? You some kinda-" He eyes Carlos' pajamas. "-mattress salesman?"
"Huh? I'm a scientist. This is a labcoat," he pinches his sleeping labcoat between his thumb and index finger and gives Frank a 'What the heck are you talking about?' face.
"A..scientist, riiiight," he nods indistinctly, taking another left onto Main Street.
Carlos picked at his cuticles a little until he remembered, "Frank, do you have a smartphone?" It was always safe to specify, especially in a smaller desert town.
"Sure do, what? You need to do some...skyence?" 'A for effort', Carlos concedes silently.
"No, I just wanted to check your map app so I can see how far away from home I am." 'Hopefully Rochelle won't mind driving out to get me', he sighs, though he knows he'll never hear the end of it from her.
"'Course! Here-" he pulls out his phone and unlocks it while at a traffic light and holds it out for Carlos, "It's the one on the top right."
"Thanks." Carlos takes the phone from Frank's hand, being careful not to touch him in the process, and diverts his attention to the corner of the screen. "Cartographer's Cursed? Don't you have Google Maps?"
"I get that a lot, but no, this model only comes with the ol' CCGPS."
"Of course," he replies, even though he's never heard of this particular GPS app. The phone looks strikingly similar to Carlos' own iPhone 4, which is presumably still charging on his bedside table, but a small fracture in the corner is secreting an orange slime. He elects to ignore the phenomenon for sake of time and taps on the unfurled map icon. His eyes widen at the screen. "Oh no."
"'Oh no'? What- what'd you find?" Frank looks back and forth between the slack-jawed Carlos and the road.
"I really am in California."
"Cali-whatnow?" Carlos shoots a strange look at Frank, but he's driving so it hits the back of his head.
"I'm about 4,000 kilometers away from home."
His legs had truly failed him, if he somehow walked here. It was more likely he was kidnapped and dumped in the desert and left for dead. Perhaps some rival university? Carlos wasn't sure.
Carlos was sure that Frank had been stealing glances at him in between staying on the road. He was probably silent for several months after he dropped the phone, or minutes, what time is it anyway? '5:52' flashed over the car's radio screen. He presumes it is 5:52.
The truck turns again, onto 1st this time. How far off is this town's police station?
"Police station? You don't want the Secret Police involved in this," Frank gestured to the confused passenger on his right. Either he read Carlos' mind, or Carlos accidentally questioned that out loud.
"But that's where Josie told me to turn to. A police station is scientifically my best bet out of this... Back home."
"Did she mention a man by the name of Cecil?"
"Umm, maybe? The grocery store was uncharacteristically loud for 5AM."
"Then she was talking about Cecil Palmer, he runs the radio station. It's just up ahead."
"How could a radio host help me in this situation? I fail to see the scientific reasoning behind that "
"He may not be a scientist, but his job is sort of to help people. Or at least keep them well-informed."
Carlos sighs. A radio station might at least have a phone line he could use. He hands the smartphone back to Frank as he pulls into a diner parking lot.
"The radio station's right next door to the Moonlite All-Nite. Cecil's show starts in a few, you could maybe catch him before he's on air," he explains as he pockets his phone and exits the truck, causing Carlos to do the same.
"Thanks, Frank. You've really been a huge help."
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right next door at Moonlite if he's busy or something. Don't be a stranger, interloper."
"Yeah, sure, thanks."
There's only about a dozen feet between him and the radio station, but this gap seems immensely more daunting than Earl Road. Carlos finally trudges over, weighed on by the gods it seems, and stands atop a concrete car bumper. He strains his vision in the early light to see a figure in the window. He hears a far-off clock tower chime. He hears the radio through the open window of Frank's truck. He hears a voice obviously calling off the radio but also inexplicably all around him.
"You are safe now, listener. Safe for now. You are not safe later. But let's not dwell on the future. Welcome to Night Vale."
As the radio show's music is blaring out the truck and in Carlos' brain, he sits down. He can no longer hear, but he can see. Above the horizon line, just left of the sun, he sees a dark planet. It is a planet of awesome size, lit by no sun. An invisible titan, all thick black forests and jagged mountains and deep, turbulent oceans. He sees a dark planet and he hears the music from the radio and he reaches his hand up towards the sky, towards the titan. And he no longer sees.
Clarity. Uncharacteristic clarity for this early in the morning. How early is it? Carlos reaches for his phone and his glasses. The phone reads '6:15', and he is able to read it as his glasses are already on his face. Was he really that exhausted that he forgot to take off his glasses? He needs a shower, and a coffee. He skips over the missed alarm notification and almost misses the text from Rochelle about covering her class. Goddamnit, Rochelle. He really needs to cash in some favors of his own on her. Or maybe just one big one.
Welcome To Night Vale: Hiram McDaniels X Gender Neutral Reader
Warning: Extra Fluffy
You huffed as you tried to concentrate on cooking dinner while your five headed dragon boyfriend tried to bother you for attention.
"Hiram. Please. I'm trying to cook!" You tried so hard not to giggle, because then you would give in to his adorablness.
"PAY ATTENTION TO ME PUNY HUMAN!" The green head yelled. You snickered. "After the pancakes are done." You replied. After a few minutes, you finally put the final pancake on a plate and turned off the stove before being scooped up into a large pair of arms and carried off to the bedroom.
"B-but pancakes!!" Violet whined.
Hiram plopped onto the bed and held you tightly to his chest, wrapping his large, beautiful wings around your form. You huffed in defeat and cuddled back, burying your face into the base of his necks. The heads all snuggled into your back, chest, stomach and neck, while the gold head rested his chin against the top of your head. You sighed blissfully, enjoying the feeling. God you loved this dragon with all your heart. There no way you'd be able to let go of him. You smiled as Hiram started to purr (yes he purrs you cannot tell me otherwise), causing you to drift to sleep.
You woke up the next morning with Hirams heads on top of you while the rest of his body seemed to be slipping off the bed very, very slowly. You quietly giggled as you ran your hands softly up and down each of the heads, giving each a nice, quick but loving kiss to each of their snouts. Hiram truly was an amazing living creature. You yawned, placing one hand on violet's head and the other on the green head, softly stroking the beautiful scales with your thumb before falling asleep.
Finally caught up on Welcome to Night Vale! Very proud of myself and I finally joined the Patreon.
Things I'm nervous about and have some hopes for:
-Time is working again. Sunrise and sunset is on time.
-Wheat and what byproducts are legal again.
-Is WTNV going to end when eventually Night Vale is a normal town?
-Or maybe it someday ends when Cecil disappears (or whatever happens to former radio show hosts) and a new radio host comes on?
-Tamika Flynn is a pacifist now I hope there's an arc where she returns to her roots or at least finds a medium, like after Eragon tried going vegan in I think the second book
-Frank Chen, I am just very excited to see if they legalize time travel machines, illegally use a time machine, take a Frank from an alternate universe, or the Chen family gets custody of the entire city and that solves the mayor problem by turning the town into a monarchy
