How myself and my mother freaked out the ER nurses
Now for a bit of context on this my family and myself are incredibly accident prone. When I was 2 I scalped myself by falling down lead lined stairs, my mum broke her neck walking out of an elevator and I can’t count the amount of times my dad has been hit by cars. In all honesty it’s a wonder any of us are alive. Anyway storytime.
Alright so about 3 years ago I was hit by a car and my leg got horrendously broken. Like the Paramedics had to pick bits of me off the road. Now I of course was in a fuckload of shock and to make sure I didn’t get overloaded by pain, they gave me laughing gas to huff on while they drove me to the hospital. Where they then started giving me morphine instead. So obviously I’m pretty loopy. But the nurses and doctors think that I may have severe head trauma, because instead of me, a skinny seventeen year old piece of shit, freaking out and worrying about my leg, I was making jokes and idle conversation.
“Man I really don’t have a leg to stand on eh?” Or “Have any of you played Dark Souls? I’m stuck on Ornstein and Smough if you got any tips.”
So of course they’re a little spooked cause they’re thinking “shit, this kid probably has a pretty serious concussion.” So they go to my mum in the waiting room, who was apparently nonchalantly reading a newspaper.
And they go “We think your son may have some brain damage. And would like to do a CT scan just to make sure.”
So my mum goes. “Oh shit, has he been acting weird? Disorientated?”
“No it’s more that he’s just very blasé about him being here right now, he’s making jokes and laughing at the situation.”
“Oh he’s fine then, mind if I come in and see him?”
And the nurses go sure, bring my mum in, and I’m lying on the bed, face still covered in blood and getting peeped to go into surgery. Now at this point most people would expect the mother to freak out because ‘that’s her baby’ and I could tell my mum was worried, but here’s the thing.
She used to be an ER nurse as well.
So she sees me there, looks me up and down, sees me smirking at her, sighs in relief because if I’m smirking I’m fine, grins and goes “You look like shit.”
Of course I hear a few of the nurses just mutter and gasp a bit cause THATS NOT WHAT A MOTHER SHOULD SAY!!!!
To which I replied “Still better than you.” And then we both just started laughing and then I saw one of the nurses faces and just laughed harder. Course that hurt a lot cause I did have a few cracked ribs.
Anyway yeah my family is used to this. Hell we have an album full of our injuries.