“Ah, Dave, you’re finally here”.
Dave didn’t remember getting into 20 by 20 room with a poker table and all sorts of creatures around. The largest guy around was an aging man with brown hair and a gray freckled beard. Besides him sat a warrior with shining white armor on the left and a less impressive angel on the right. On the opposite were three demons that had familiarities with the demons that stabbed him just a couple of moments ago.
One was red, the other was grey and the last one had a cermaic eyepatch. All of them were heavily armored and upside down wings, their hard expressions focussed on their opponents.
One last figure was in the corner, his gray stone face and smoky green eyes barely hiding behind his oily black hair, not moving up from his cards. He was wrapped in loose black robes held down by a necklace in the shape of an hourglass, and right next to him a sythe was leaning on the table. Death.
“Care for a game of cards ? Death’s a little busy processing other things right now”, the demon with the eyepatch said.
“What the he- what is even going on ?”, Dave exclaimed.
“I am God, These are Gabriel and Michael. Opposite of me are Luci-“.
“Satan. My name is Satan. Could you at leats call me by my name, father ?”.
“Satan, then”, God said with a hint of old blood, “His companions are Abaddon and Samael. In the corner hereis the only real ‘neutral party'”.
Dave saw his face flashing by after the pain in his chest had subsided, but he didn’t remember meeting him.
“Well, now that everyone knows who everyone is, come join us after this round. This was about to get boring”.
Death threw two hundred fifty dollars worth of chips on the table as he glanced a peek at the newcomer, then turned his gaze on Abaddon. Abaddon folded.
Gabriel folded. “Tryhard”, he muttered as Death’s sweeping hands pulled in the winnings of the round.
“Maybe I’m just better at reading others then your Gabe”, Death said as he started neatly stacking his chips in order of color and stack size.
“Why can’t everybody just call eachother by their names ?”, Satan said as he tossed in the big blind.
“Well, my real name is David, so... just call me Dave.” Dave said shrugging
“Whatever you say man.”, the Lord of the Flies said. A sense of dread crept up Dave’s spine.
He was talking to Satan. The Satan. And God. And Death. And all the other biblical figures he never learned to bother about. Was he in Hell, or Heaven ? Why was everyone playing cards ? These people were supposed to hate eachothers guts.
“Yeah, I’m cool with being Dave”.
“I’m not here to listen to you rant all day about how you think things are supposed to be, Beelz. I’m here because I want to relax with my old buddies before we make the transition. Can you keep your lawyer shenanigans in tow just for once while we play ?”, Michael asked.
Death had finished shuffling and dealt the cards with card tosses only a magician could pull off, not being bothered by the arguing at all, maybe even enjoying it a little. Dave looked at his cards as as Samael made a snarky comment towards Michael. Ace of hearts and king of spades. Decent cards, with some luck he’d get something good.
Everyone called the big blind and Death dealt the first three cards. Four of hearts, ace of spades and king of hearts. Two pair. Good odds.
Michael raised the pot with fifty dollars. God raised him seventy-five. Gabriel folded. Dave raised to one hundred and fifty of the stack that had appeared before him moments ago.
“You got stones, Dave”, Abaddon said as he called.
Satan folded with a sigh. Samael called, and so did Death. The rest evened up, and Death dealt the next card.
Six of clubs. Michael folded, and God raised by fifty. Dave called. Two pair was still enough. Tension was getting higher. Dave started sweating, hoping he didn’t just make a mistake. Everyone else after him called, and Death dealt the last card.
Kind of spades. Full house.
Dave could barely contain his excitement. He was going to beat these biblical figures in a game of cards. God raised by another fifty. Dave raised with all in.
“Dave, what are you doing ?”, God asked him.
“I’m feeling lucky”, Dave said while doing everything in his power not to smile the biggest grin he could stretch. Abaddon and Samael folded.
“Quite the move, Dave. Very daring. Care to add some more ?”, Death said.
“You don’t get to make deals here, Death”, God said disapprovingly.
“You’re in my domain now. You have no power here. And I am, quite literally, the dealer here”, Death said while not even looking at the creator of everything.
The entire room went completely silent. A drip of water hitting the ground would sound like an explosion in the silence that just spawned.
“So Dave”, Death, started again, taking his eyes off his cards and looking Dave in the eyes to depths Dave didn’t even know existed, “care to up the ante ?”.
“Sure”, Dave said. There was practically nothing that could beat Dave right now.
“Absolutely not!”, Gabriel exclaimed, ” We’ve all been here before. You don’t get to wager souls at the poker table, of all places!”.
“I’m not just wagering souls here, Gabe”, Death muttered with contempt of the messenger angel, and turned back to Dave.
“I’m offering you a place in the dream realm. I have people working there that owe me. You could live your dreams until the end of time. In return, I want monopoly of all the souls of your family”.
“WHAT ?!”, Satan yelled as he shoved his your back, “You can’t do that ! Those souls belong to me and God, not to you !”.
“Dave can always choose not to”, Death simply said as he gestured Satan to sit down.
God and his angels were speechless, and the demons were watching this display unfold with great interest.
“Living the dream for the souls of my family, sure”, Dave said, certain of his victory.
Samael folded. Death produced a small VIP card from within his robes and placed it on the table.
Dave tossed his cards to the table.
“Full house, three kings and two aces. Living the dream, yeah baby!”, Dave yelled as he raised his arms in victory.
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Dave”, Death said as he tossed down.
Ace of hearts and ace of diamonds. Full house, three aces and two kings.
Dave’s euphoria felt like it hit an mountain of ice, broke in half and sank to unfathomable depths. He’d condemned his family to Death.
Death grabbed his sythe and drew Dave’s winnings back to him, along with several floating bright little orbs that were yelling and screaming at low volume. The onlookers did nothing but sit and watch, the angels and God with sadness and Satan and his demons still staring at the cards, not believing that just happened.
“Pleasure doing business with you”, Death said with the tiniest smirk and hint of amusement.