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In the band where I currently play, we are practicing for a gig in January and among others, we want to play this song. It really stuck with me and so I recorded it.

This is a cover of Why still bother by Itchy (Poopkidz), a band from the small town where I'm studying. The breakdown is a cover of a cover: The russian band SRVVRS made a metal cover of Imagine Dragon's "Roots" (from the very early days) which I found cool and implemented part of it.

tumblr exclusive! Lyrics under cut

154 bpm, F major

Why still bother When we all ignore each other? Going under Why still bother? We are all the same

Faith and purpose - We have lost it Why believe when theres no way to trust it Destination - It′s a dead end We get along pretty well when we only pretend

Where did it go wrong? Why did we all sit and stare? What was going on? Was anybody there?

Why still bother When we all ignore each other? Going under Why still bother? When we're all the same And every single person is to blame

We have found one motivation How to get rid of great expectations Cold and empty on the inside Deaf, dumb and blind we are moving right into the light

Where did it go wrong? Why did we all sit and stare? What was going on? Was anybody there?

Why still bother When we all ignore each other? Going under Why still bother? We are all the same Why still bother When we all ignore each other? Going under Why still bother? When we're all the same And every single person is to blame!

Where did it go wrong? Why did we all sit and stare? What was going on? Was anybody there When trouble found me?!

Hell will always come before you grow. So Why still bother When we all ig-nore each other? Going under Why still bother We are all the same Why still bother When we all ignore each other? Going under Why still bother When we're all the same And every single person is to blame

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Human kind -

The basis for this song is Besa me, a spanish Bossa nova. I wrote it shortly after returning to germany from my semester in spain. For the chord progression, I thankfully got help from a talented pianist and am very content with how it turned out.

This song unites the bittersweet sentiment of connecting over pain and the positive instrumental vibes.

I first encountered 'Besa me' during my volunteer-year, where a spanish guy played it on guitar for us. His version haunted me ever since.

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Five years ago (29 May 2020), I created the account rainbow playlists. This was the first song I uploaded on the channel that was mainly created to curate my music taste and create a library of music respecting LGBTQIA+ people.

Since then reviewed over 1900 songs and sorted them into categories from "respecting the plus" to "banlist".

With my own music, I mainly focused on my "Slowheal" song-cycle accompanying my mental health journey.

The vocals of the intro to this song are from a song from the cycle "Zigeunerlieder" by Brahms from the 19th century. The rest of the lyrics are inspired by Bring me the Horizon

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My hate-love with cars

Since I was a kid I loved cars. I still am fascinated by the technology, but I hate individual traffic and how they evolved to be less efficient and a status symbol for the rich and dumb instead.

Glatteis by Nina Chuba is a breakup song and Carsick by K.Flay is self-explanatory.

For the intro, I used my whammy bar to imitate an ambulance siren.

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And I thought to myself: What a beautiful world

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This song was basically revealed to me line by line on a walk in January. I had a great view on the surrounding woods, it was a warm windy day.

You may know by now that I love Bring me the Horizon for their energy, but I completely disagree with the line "Fuck your faith" in Crooked young. Denying someon's core beliefs, someone's faith is not ok. That's why I decided to rewrite the song with opposing meaning.

And what would be more fitting than No Ordinary love by Memphis may fire as the final note?

This song is as much about religion and healing as it is about politics. It's a call for love and action, for forgiveness and revolution.

Sadly, this audio is not available on soundcloud because it's too long for my upload volume. That's also the reason why I posted it in two parts. But another, shorter song will be online there soon.

You can find more info and the full lyrics under the cut

C-major, 128 bpm

Pt.1

This is to those who went and made money their religion

[Crooked young - bmth T6] Hallelujah, I’m saved it’s a miracle thank you Jesus! Hallelujah, I’m free to roam this earth and I’ll be born again!

Fuck your hate, it won’t save you! fuck your senseless hate, [fade out] cause

Even when it feels like [chorus] There’s no hope for us and we speak in tongues, you are still with us, guiding the lost, this breaking earth There’s still love in us, I believe in the best in humans, I won’t give in to your dictated hopelessness (ness…)

We don’t sleep, we don’t eat we speak in tongues we can’t die we’re dead inside to flood this earth with trash that you let us produce. Fuck your corporations! Money won’t save you! CEOs won’t hear your fucking prayers!

(fade in, alternating) There’s only one hope for us: Speak the truth, blacker than the sun, death can touch them as well as us, don’t give in to their monopoles, we hold the reigns we are the youth! Rise__!

Hallelujah, love connects us, if we don’t give in to grief and hate Vote them out and with the lord as our sheperd: We will find a way!

Pt.2

[No ordinary love - memphis may fire] Thank you for showing me what my health is worth. Just like Hiob I won’t say a bad word I’m free, on good terms with my family I have every possibility and seize the opportunity To call out some right wing idiots:

Don’t need a sign don’t need a miracle to know another world is possible! We’ve just failed so many times Is there any way that we could make it right? god if you’re there we need to hear you now!

[Refr] Come back to me love, I forgive you Oh, how I′ve missed you Just know every time you run I'll be right here waiting Yeah

This is no ordinary love Listen up Listen up This is no ordinary love Listen up, this is unconditional

I'm so afraid to admit that you′re real ′Cause I'm afraid of what I might feel When your words start to come to life And it brings my demons into the light but

I know you′re here, I shiver as you whisper in my ear "Child have no fear"

Come back to me love, I forgive you Oh, how I've missed you Just know every time you run I′ll be right here waiting Come back to me love (Come back to me_) I hope you know I'm always with you (I’m always with you!) Oh, I forgive you

(doubled) We lose faith in things unseen Unsure of what to believe Just dying to be loved When love′s right in front of us (ooh) We give up on our hopes and dreams And let doubt take everything The door will open when we realize we don't hold the key

We tried to save ourselfes but we failed But I failed!

(Ooh!) Come back to me love, I forgive you Oh, how I've missed you (I′ve missed you so) Every time you run I′ll be right here waiting Come back to me love I hope you know I'm always with you (I hope you know) I forgive you!

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when depression sucks out your creativity

This song was written in a time where I felt sad and uninspired to create something of my own, so I just threw together a bunch of loops from the library. In the end, I took inspiration from Andrew Huang and arranged them to resemble modular synthesizers (at least a bit).

The final part contains the only thing I played myself: Midi gated drums. The effect was discovered by Phil Collins: He recorded his drums in a staircase and cut off the natural reverb of the place with a noise gate. I love the vibe of this part and always use this drumset. For metal songs I used it mixed with a very dry drumset with a hard compressor.

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Rapfever

All songs from this album were written and produced in spain with inspiration from the music and feelings there. Since I didn't have a studio but only my laptop and headphones in a small flat room, I wasn't content with the quality and removed most of the songs from the album again.

Beastboi is a german Youtuber and rapper. I adore his energetic rap. The instrumental was written with my ex-girlfriend who once went to a "rap course". Well, you can hear my thoughts about that in the song. Lyrics and more information are in the description on Soundcloud.

Here is track number 4:

This is also inspired by a german rapper, namely AK AusserKontrolle feat. Bonez MC. But since I am a big fan of public and emission free transport, I changed to lyrics from "In meinem Benz" to "Mit meinem Rad" (with my bycicle).

I don't know how to share

I remember sitting on top of a Climbing frame in a park in Madrid and writing this. It was at the end of my exchange semester where I was quite alone and had some free time for the first time in 2 years after beginning my studies. I shared a flat with two spanish students and we didn't get along very well.

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not everything will be good, but most will get better

This has been my life motto since middle school and I haven't found a more comforting sentence since.

I tried to write a positive song without disregarding the hopelesness life can bring.

Also, I just now saw Alligatoah life, so please enjoy this video of me rapping along at the top of my lungs to "Musik ist keine Lösung" (music is not a solution):