random thoughts I'm having while eating dinner, this isn't in reference to anything in particular, I haven't read any bellesco yet (I just realised I wanted to try to write what I have in mind), just thoughts about writing, fanfiction as a window: at no point when I'm imagining bellini and tedesco fucking, I, the writer, am planning positions and lines based on tedesco's political stance or opinions he would have about me. I am very much not the point here nor want to be. I'm not assigning "moral value" or "power hierarchy" when deciding who's going to top and bottom because there's no inherent power in topping nor inherent "weakness" in being a bottom and tedesco's opinions not being the same as my political views should not mean I'm going to make him the bottom "to teach him a lesson" (incredibly homophobic, this is not what gay sex is at all). like, no, no. again, if I'm writing bellesco fucking, tedesco's points matter for the narrative in the conversations he'll be having with bellini as for us the readers because we know who he is but never do his politics dictate what happens during the sex itself. part of the beauty is seeing these two stripped (literally) from their cloaks communicating and connecting physically, that's what sex is, communication. and I feel such a tenderness when it comes to these two finding that in such an intimate moment, I am obsessed with their duality, their families, their extremely similar backgrounds that led them to opposite ideals, I have so much empathy for them and that's what makes fiction interesting for me. fiction.
one thing I really like about being a succession fan and amc interview with the vampire enjoyer is that the starting point is so clearly that no one should watch those to pat themselves on the back or "consume good media to like good characters to be morally good". as you mature and become an adult, media you like doesn't necessarily have to be a mirror (as it used to be to teenage me) but a window for you to look at different perspectives and part of the fun of fanfiction is to step into their shoes and write the characters you like in intimate moments, agreeing with their opinions or not could not be more irrelevant because they're two naked men in bed making love. and their personalities and what the act itself means to them will impact but not my judgement over them. I'm just the writer, I'm not there. tedesco doesn't need to be morally good for me (I like him precisely because he is what he is) to write him having a tender moment with bellini. I care about him. I care about these two sharing this intimacy. I think it's beautiful. anyway.
