♔ : Finding your muse wearing their clothes
There had been many benefits to dating Tenney back in the good old days. Obviously, the girl was annoyingly gorgeous, and had the voice of a freaking angel, and her parents were so cool and made the best food Freyja had ever eaten. As if all of that wasn’t good enough, Tenney had been so amazing that she was one hell of a muse. Freyja considered herself highly creative even on a bad day anyway, but being in love with the best girl in the universe made it so stupidly easy to pop out beautiful design after beautiful design. She woke up in the morning and wanted to sketch, and she went to bed every night excited to dream up more creations -- after all, it was easy to feel the juices flowing when literally everything looked like a dream on her dream girl.
To say the breakup had been hard on her was an understatement. She hadn’t expected the relationship to end any time soon, or at all if she was being honest with herself, and she especially hadn’t expected to be dumped for... being embarrassing. That wasn’t a word Freyja applied to herself often and it shook her confidence like crazy, not that she wanted anyone to know that. It was easier for the world to think she was locking herself up in her room because she was crying over the loss of Tenney instead of the truth, which was that she was crying over that and the loss of the idea she’d always had about herself. Some days, she didn’t let anyone talk to her except Annika, and she couldn’t look at let alone touch a sketch book.
Still, the show had to go on. Freyja had given herself two weeks, no more and no less, and when her alarm labeled “Get the F Over It” went off, she took its advice and shrugged off her sorrow like it was a last season hand-me-down. She was still sad about Tenney not being in her life anymore and would be for a long time, but she couldn’t let her breakup define her when what she thought about herself mattered so much more. She forced herself to stay up late designing new outfits; the goal was to make looks that were so immaculate that Tenney would spend the rest of her life cursing that she’d burned this bridge. Throughout their relationship, Freyja’s ex had gotten the unique privilege of being the sole wearer of some of her best designs. Until Freyja found someone else to fill that position, she would just have to make Tenney’s life miserable and full of regret and envy and bitterness...maybe because otherwise Freyja was scared Tenney might forget her altogether, and that would be worse than anything else.
They didn’t speak much afterwards, but that was okay. They talked enough, and Freyja kept updated on Tenney’s life by checking Instaroyal and asking friends. She didn’t think of it as stalking, not really. All the information was public and anyway, Tenney was trying to become a celebrity in her own right. Keeping up with her career wasn’t that much of a creepy stalker move. It didn’t stop Freyja from living her own life either, and she found herself wondering sometimes whether or not Tenney kept up with Freyja’s growing career too, if she ever stalked her socials. It hurt her heart knowing that she always pictured their careers growing together and that no matter what happened now, that never would, but it was fine, it was fine, it was fine.
The few times they did speak, they clearly weren’t on good terms, and that was... also fine. Or, at least, it had to be, because if Freyja thought too hard about Tenney being a jerk when she was the one who’d been the dumper and for a stupid reason too, it would drive her crazy and derail her progress and she refused to do that. Maybe someday they’d be able to talk to each other the way they used to when they were friends, or maybe that bridge really was ashes on the ground now. Either way, the brief conversations kept Freyja up at night, thinking about how someone who used to be such a safe space for her felt as constricting as high-compression leggings now, and how that juxtaposition alone was enough to make her lose her mind.
It was also a fun concept for a fashion line though, the mix of comfort with highly structured pieces that looked like they’d almost hurt. It was more inspiring than any idea had been in a while, actually, and Freyja followed her instincts and jumped right into work. She stayed up all night designing what could only be described as a a corset gown mixed with a shift dress. It was equal parts soft and hard, satin and leather, sparkles and studs, and it was spectacular. The piece looked either teal or green depending on the angle and if Freyja could fall in love with a piece of clothing, it’d be this one. As she took it in with the utmost joy, she felt a little bit of annoyance hit. She knew just by looking at it who the best model possible for it would be, but her evil ex wouldn’t wear one of her pieces ever again... would she?
The dress inspired a line of sketches and Freyja started working on more and more, but that didn’t stop her from picturing Tenney in the initial look. Finally, she didn’t think she could take it any longer, and she stuffed the dress angrily into a box. If she couldn’t get Tenney out of her head, she’d get her out of her designing space. The rest of the looks were good without the dress, and Freyja refused to let Tenney be her muse still, after everything. She wrote a small, sloppy note that just said “Have a dumb dress. F.” and dropped it off at Tenney’s place right before Christmas. She half-hoped that her ex wouldn’t open the box at all and that the dress would just kind of disappear, the same way all the love between them had. But it didn’t.
About a month later, in fact, Freyja saw a picture of Tenney in the dress on Insta; she looked just as perfect in it as Freyja thought she would. The color brought out the undertones of her ex’s skin beautifully, the soft and the hard worked equally well on her, and it gave her edge while still maintaining a lady like image. It looked so good on her that the dress itself looked even prettier than the designer had remembered it looking, which was so rewarding yet so annoying. Did Tenney have to look so perfect in it? And was Freyja stupid for thinking -- or maybe hoping -- that her wearing it at all meant something?