#frequently asked asks

[spanishskulduggery]

why are there two conjugations for the past perfect subjunctive?? there’s -ra and -es and I don’t get it. I forget but I think it’s also that way for the imperfect subjunctive. please if you could shed some light on this that would be great. love your blog, thanks for all the great information.

Historically, they were entirely different tenses.

Today, Latin America tends to use the imperfect subjunctive forms that are -ara/-iera for everything, and Spain tends to go for -ase/-iese in hypothetical situations while reserving -ara/-iera for other situations

I don't often see the -ase/-iese forms in my daily life where my Spanish is more geared around Latin America

I'll explain basically what I know - keep in mind I'm not a linguist or a historical linguist so I may be getting bits of it wrong; and a linguist will probably have more information and more accurate info but this is what I know / what I learned and was taught...

-

Historically

Once upon a time, the imperfect subjunctive was all -ase/-iese forms. Spanish grammar was a bit different in many regards

A key difference is that haber - now used for the perfect tenses - was also used as tener "to have". So while today people mostly use haber for either "to exist" or in a perfect tense - haber hecho "to have done" for example instead of simple hacer in past tense... people didn't always have haber to use

This brings us to -ara/-iera forms which were, at one point, used for the pluperfect aka the "past perfect"

If you're reading something historical or set in Medieval-y times you may come across this yourself

While today you might see hablara, comiera, viviera as being imperfect subjunctive [something like "would speak", "would eat", "would live"]...

In older Spanish they meant "had spoken", "had eaten", "had lived"

Today you use the imperfect form of haber + a past participle for typical pluperfect: había hablado, había comido, había vivido

There are still some situations that use the -ara/-iera forms as pluperfect, typically in journalism and literature

This is why you may see in a biography: naciera to mean "was born" or "had been born", which is understood as kinda synonymous as nació which is simple past nacer aka "was born"

In these situations you WILL NOT ever see naciese used that way

And, the -ase/-iese forms were used in imperfect subjunctive, commonly past subjunctive

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Today

There's a bit of a confusion around it because a textbook will list both conjugations without much explanation. I would say in general it's a regional preference, and that Spain is the one that uses -ase/-iese forms like hablase, comiese, viviese more than Latin America

Part of the confusion comes from how language and grammar evolved

haber came to be used in a different way than tener, so pluperfect was adapted

Secondly, the subjunctive changed. Just like indicative, subjunctive could have been separated into three: present subjunctive, imperfect subjunctive, and future subjunctive

That is... "may do", "may have done/would have done", and "were to have done"

As expected, imperfect subjunctive and future subjunctive are sometimes very very similar even in English where "would have" kinda sounds like it could be either depending on how you mean it

In Spanish, future subjunctive [which would have looked like hablare, comiere, viviere for a yo] became more obsolete

Imperfect subjunctive came to encompass both past and future, which grammatically makes a bit of sense in the idea that "imperfect" means "not yet completed"... so while imperfect subjunctive can be hypothetical it also means "may or may not be happening"...... that may be an oversimplification on my part, but this is sort of how I wrap my head around it

Now, here's where it's a bit tricky... Latin America doesn't often recognize a grammatical difference in past or potential future subjunctive; they both get -ara/-iera

Spain however does have more of a distinction

When talking about past situations, Spain does use the -ara/-iera forms... like me pidieron que pusiera la mesa "they asked me to set the table"

Where you see the -ase/-iese forms more in Spain is in the hypothetical "if/then" statements used with conditional

While in Latin America you might see si lo supiera "if I knew" and si lo hubiera sabido "if I had known"...

Spain tends to say si lo supiese "if I knew" and si lo hubiese sabido "if I had known"

This is really only for the hypothetical contrary to fact statements... "if I were to have known", or "if I were", things that aren't true but supposing that they were; that is an indefinite potential future and different from subjunctive taking place in the past

Still, even native speakers have issues with imperfect subjunctive so there are occasionally variations in what conjugation they use, if they prefer imperfect subjunctive or imperfect indicative, and sometimes the omission of the conditional tense instead doing a double imperfect subjunctive

In other words, there's a basic grammatical thing and then some people put their own spin on their language which adds to some regional or situational variation

[spanishskulduggery]

Can you explain Spanish syntax a bit? I thought it was SVO but a lot of the time it doesn't look like that, and adverbs and stuff will be in different places than in English. The obvious difference is that adjectives go after nouns. I know that one, but for the other ones I still feel like my Spanish is "backward" when I'm following English syntax.

Spanish syntax is more flexible than English syntax, and so it can come across as more… poetically set up.

In standard Spanish it’s more SVO [subject verb object] like voy al banco “I’m going to the bank”

[side note: the subject is actually the most changeable part of it because it can be reorganized to give emphasis in different places… voy al banco is standard, yo voy al banco while mentioning the subject is “I (specifically) am going to the bank”, and then voy al banco yo sounds maybe more impatient or forceful like “I’ll go to the bank” in kind of a “well I guess I’LL be the one going to the bank” or in context it could sound like “I’m the one who goes to the bank (not anyone else)]

But it can be written as something like al banco voy which sounds more like “to the bank I go” or “it’s off to the bank I go”. It’s not as common in normal everyday Spanish.

It used to be more common to see verbs placed at the end of sentences, and that was more literary and poetic. By putting the verb at the end, you draw the reader’s attention there, and effectively leave them hanging while you expound on things.

In poetry it makes sense to have verbs at the end of stanzas; most verbs conjugate regularly, so it’s much easier to rhyme a verb. It’s the same with lyrics and singing. Anything done for the sake of rhyme is a lot easier when your verbs are regular ones and their conjugational forms rhyme with each other.

Where it is different is that the order of objects changes depending on the mood and the number of conjugated verbs. You see it mostly through example:

lo envío = I send it / I’m sending it

lo quiero enviar = I want to send it [accepted]quiero enviarlo = I want to send it [more common, accepted]

quiero que lo envíes = I want you to send it [subjunctive]quieren que lo envíe = they want me to send it [subjunctive]

envíalo = send it [command]no lo envíes = don’t send it [negative command]

When it’s objects [direct or indirect, and sometimes reflexives], it’s more changeable depending on how you phrase something.

Like above you might say me acuerdo “I remember”, or me quiero acordar / quiero acordarme “I want to remember” and that one has two possible forms.

In subjunctive, it works sort of the same as indicative… es posible que no te acuerdes “it’s possible you don’t remember” or es posible que no te quieras acordar / es posible que no quieras acordarte “it’s possible you don’t want to remember”

Commands [the imperative mood] are always making you attach the object or reflexive pronouns in affirmative; in negative commands it works like subjunctive for the most part. Saying “send it” or sometimes you might see something like acuérdate “remember” tack on the pronouns.

Where most people get a little tripped up in regular Spanish is when you’re talking about syntax in regular declarative statements vs. interrogative statements.

In declarative statements [sentences ending with a period], it’s usually the same as listed above:

Yo soy… = I am…

Estoy en la biblioteca. = I am in the library.

Voy al banco. = I’m going to the bank.

In an interrogative sentence [one that asks a question and typically uses the question mark] the order switches to something closer to VSO [verb subject object] or sometimes VOS [verb object subject]:

¿Quién soy? = Who am I?¿Quién soy yo? = Who am I? [more emphatic and common for this example it’s like “who AM I?”]

¿Dónde estoy? = Where am I?¿Dónde estás tú? = Where are you?¿Cómo estás tú? = How are you?¿Cómo están tus padres? = How are your parents?

¿Adónde voy? = Where am I going?¿Adónde vas (tú)? = Where are you going?¿Adónde te vas? = Where are you going? / Where are you off to?

You can change the order a bit by adding a smaller clause, I think it would be called a subordinate clause or a relative clause, but they’d go at the beginning of the sentence and then you’d add the question:

Y tú, ¿cómo estás? = And you, how are you?¿Cómo estás? Y tus padres, ¿cómo están? = How are you? And your parents, how are they?

Y tú… ¿no lo sabías? = And you… didn’t know?

Tú lo hiciste, ¿o me equivoco? = You did it, or am I wrong?Lo hiciste tú, ¿o me equivoco? = You were the one who did it, or am I wrong?

No puede ser A ni B, así que ¿será o C o D? = It can’t be A or B, so it would be either C or D?

The interrogative syntax, especially when you mix it with declarative (and/or exclamatory) has a lot of variability.

Spanish syntax is a lot more fluid than English syntax, but I haven’t found much that specifically goes into syntax without it being a linguistics thing. I haven’t found that many “rules” exactly… it’s sort of like… you study Spanish for a while, and you hear and see how other people phrase things, and then sometimes things just feel “right” or “wrong”.

Interrogative sentences are the ones that have the most “rules” since it’s typically the verb goes first, unless you’re using an evocative kind of thing [like… Ana, ¿adónde vas? “Ana, where are you going?”] 

But regular declarative sentences are more changeable. I will say that SVO tends to be more common today, but more flowery or academic writing does mix up the syntax for dramatic effect.

[spanishskulduggery]

Aside from the fact that “ya” can also mean “already”, are there any differences in when you can use ya vs. ahora to mean “now”

To me, ya “now” is an impatient “now”

I would say it’s more like “right now” or ahora mismo when it’s being used in an impatient or rushing context.

You also might see it as ya que which is used in a clause like… ya que lo tenemos which is “since we have it” or “now that we have it” or “given that we have it”

Or it’s ya no which is “not anymore” or “not now” as in “not continuing”

The other big difference is that ya by itself can be a response. People use ya as “yeah” or “uh huh”, the same way English has “yeah” and German says ja. So it’s totally commonplace to say ya in place of sí 

Sometimes people use ya to punctuate sentences like “and that was that” or “and that was the end of it”, sort of a shortened form of something like “and you already know what happened” or “and you can draw your own conclusions.

I should also point out that ya as “already” carries the same connotations as English “already”. As in, you can use it to say that something happened “already” or said in frustration:

Ya lo hice. = I already did it.

¡Basta ya! = Enough already! / That’s enough!

In my experience, ahora is specifically only used with the idea time. Literally “at the hour/time”, so you say ahora “now” or ahora mismo “right now”. I would say in that particular sense ya = ya mismo = ahora mismo = de inmediato/inmediatamente = enseguida for “right away”. 

*Saying ya mismo is maybe like “straightaway” or “immediately”, basically the same as ahora mismo

If you’re specifically talking about time “now”, ahora. And ya can be synonymous with ahora in that sense, and it often means “now” if you’re rushing or pressuring someone so it comes across as frustration or impatience or urgency at times

How to use ya

[spanishskulduggery]

Okay, so in my Spanish class, we were taught that wordsin singular form that started with an 'a' are usually masculine because that way you can hear all sounds (so, el agua/las aguas vs la agua). Before I even learned this, I thought customs we're la duana and only now, as a senior in college, am I learning that it's actually la Aduana???? Please help me understand!

That isn’t the case, exactly.

The true rule is that feminine nouns that begin in A- or HA- and have the stress on the first syllable take a masculine article to preserve the sound, but are still technically feminine

el agua = water

el alma = soul

el hambre = hunger / famine

el arca = ark / chest, large box, trunk

el ascua = ember

el hada = fairy

el habla = manner of speech, way of talking

el águila = eagle

el ala = wing

el ave = bird, avian

el aula = classroom

All of these words have the stress on the first syllable.

In plural, or when separated by an adjective, the words become obviously feminine:

el águila = the eagleun águila = an eaglealgún águila = some eagleningún águila = no eagle

las águilas = the eaglesunas águilas = a few eaglesalgunas águilas = some eagles

el águila calva = the bald eagle

el águila grande = the big eagle / the large eagleuna gran águila = a great eagle / a grand eagle

el águila misma = the eagle itselfla misma águila = the same eagle

In all of these cases, they take masculine articles when it’s singular and uses el, un, algún, ningún

But once they’re plural, they go back to feminine articles because the S for the plural articles los, unos, algunos provides a hiatus. Or in other words, it’s masculine so that the la and the next a of the word [which is the stressed part] don’t blend together. You preserve the stressed syllable and create a distinction with the article el

Rather than have it blend together in spoken Spanish and for poetry and counting syllables… since saying something like ayuda a andar would be closer to 4 syllables… a-yu-daan-dar… since all of those A sounds blend in Spanish poetry.

But not all words starting with A are feminine, even if the stress is on the first syllable… el árbol, el ánimo, el alguacil, el alcalde, el acebo, el álamo

The gender of the nouns is a totally separate issue.

But in the case of words like la ayuda or la aduana the stress isn’t the first syllable. For aduana it’s “a-DUA-na”, the second syllable. Since it’s not the first syllable, it can stay feminine.

A better example might be this:

el ánimo (m) = cheer, spirit, mood / male essence, animus

el ánima (f) = spirit, shade, soul, spirit of the dead / inner self / female essence, anima

For el ánimo it’s masculine and happens to have its stress on the first syllable.

The word ánima also has its stress on the first syllable, but it happens to be feminine. Since it meets those two requirements, it has to be written as el ánima

[spanishskulduggery]

Hi! The website idea sounds awesome! Also I have question: Do you know why it's "en el aula" even though aula is feminine? Thank you^^

It’s a grammatical rule that isn’t something that’s exactly taught, it’s more something that you kind of learn on your own, though there is a good reason.

My guess is that this was done in a way to avoid using apostrophes like Italian or French do it, and providing a more uniform approach to the articles rather than have there be specific ones for specific nouns based on specific spellings/pronunciation like you’d see with Italian… but that’s not exactly my field of study. Anyway, a lot of info coming your way!

[copy/pasted]

The true rule is that feminine nouns that begin in A- or HA- and have the stress on the first syllable take a masculine article to preserve the sound, but are still technically feminine

el agua = water

el alma = soul

el hambre = hunger / famine

el arca = ark / chest, large box, trunk

el ascua = ember

el hada = fairy

el habla = manner of speech, way of talking

el águila = eagle

el ala = wing

el alba = dawn

el ave = bird, avian

el aula = classroom

[there are more words than just these; it’s important to know the gender of the noun in question though, so these are the more common ones]

All of these words have the stress on the first syllable.

In plural, or when separated by an adjective, the words become obviously feminine:

el águila = the eagleun águila = an eaglealgún águila = some eagleningún águila = no eagle

las águilas = the eaglesunas águilas = a few eaglesalgunas águilas = some eagles

el águila calva = the bald eagle

el águila grande = the big eagle / the large eagleuna gran águila = a great eagle / a grand eagle

el águila misma = the eagle itselfla misma águila = the same eagle

In all of these cases, they take masculine articles when it’s singular and uses el, un, algún, ningún

But once they’re plural, they go back to feminine articles because the S for the plural articles los, unos, algunos provides a hiatus. Or in other words, it’s masculine so that the la and the next a of the word [which is the stressed part] don’t blend together. You preserve the stressed syllable and create a distinction with the article el

Rather than have it blend together in spoken Spanish and for poetry and counting syllables… since saying something like ayuda a andar would be closer to 4 syllables… a-yu-daan-dar… since all of those A sounds blend in Spanish poetry.

This is why you’ll see things like el agua bendita “holy water” or el alba dorada “golden dawn” or even los Juegos del hambre “Hunger Games” where they’re with a masculine article but still technically feminine.

But not all words starting with A- or HA- are feminine, even if the stress is on the first syllable… el árbol, el ánimo, el alguacil, el alcalde, el acebo, el álamo, el halcón, el hánger

The gender of the nouns is a totally separate issue.

But in the case of words like la ayuda or la aduana the stress isn’t the first syllable. For aduana it’s “a-DUA-na”, the second syllable. Since it’s not the first syllable, it can stay feminine.

A better example might be this:

el ánimo (m) = cheer, spirit, mood / male essence, animus

el ánima (f) = spirit, shade, soul, spirit of the dead / inner self / female essence, anima

For el ánimo it’s masculine and happens to have its stress on the first syllable.

The word ánima also has its stress on the first syllable, but it happens to be feminine. Since it meets those two requirements, it has to be written as el ánima

[spanishskulduggery]

Hey, I'm a future ap spanish student and I'm still having trouble with tildes and like certain rules and such. Do you know any cheat sheets I can use just to get me started? It's really hard for me sounding out the words because I feel like everything needs a tilde lol. Thank you so much and your blog really helps out ❤️

You’re going to want to check out the rules of esdrújula because that explains a lot of the tilde rules.

(I’m not sure how well this is going to show up as an image)

Monosyllabic words (only one syllable) are written without a tilde (fe, ve, dio, fue, vio, guion), except monosyllabic words that require a diacritic accent mark tú and él as opposed to tu and el. 

Monosyllabic words are classified as tonic (dé, sol, ve) and atonic (de, con, su)… meaning some are vocally stressed and some have no vocal stress.

[this is why you see tres and seis without accent marks but then dieciséis and ventitrés do, because they need to show people where the accent should be]

Polysyllabic words are accented visually according to the placement of the tonic stress [where you put the vocal accent]  within each word, and the letter it ends with.

1. Agudas [sharp] = The stressed syllable is the last one / ultimate

el telón = curtain [theater]

el colibrí = hummingbird

la señal = sign / signal

2. Llanas [flat] or Graves [deep/serious] = The stressed syllable is 2nd to last / penultimate

el árbol = tree

el lunes = Monday

el tema = subject

3. Esdrújula = The stressed syllable is 3rd to last / antepenultimate

la página = page

cómodo/a = comfortable

único = only / unique

Sobreesdrújula = The stressed syllable is right behind the 3rd to last [due to conjugations and commands for the most part]

dígamelo = tell me [usted command; “tell it to me”]

cómaselo = eat it [usted command; “eat it (up)”]

Words that are agudas take an accent when they end in a vowel OR when ending in consonants N or S (not preceded by another consonant)

acá = here / near

el comité = committee

aquí = here

revisó = [3rd person] revised / reviewed

el iglú = igloo

la razón = reason

el compás = rhythm / compass [mathematics; not sailing which is brújula]

When they end in more than one consonant they don’t have an accent mark. And there’s also no accent mark when they end in Y

————————————————————————————

Words that are llanas/graves have an accent when they end in a consonant OTHER than N or S

el lápiz = pencil

la cárcel = jail

el túnel = tunnel

el tórax = thorax

They also take an accent mark when they end in more than one consonant, and when they end in Y.

————————————————————————————

Words that are esdrújula or sobreesdrújula ALWAYS have an accent mark.

(It doesn’t matter what vowel or consonant they end in, they’ll always have accent marks)

[spanishskulduggery]

Hola La Dragonaria! Could you explain to me how to use pronouns and reflextive verbs? For example, when should one use te, ti, and tu? lo, le and se? Thank you!

What you’re describing are different things. This might be a bit long but I’ll go over pretty much eeeeeeverything concerning objects and pronouns and reflexives. It’s a matter of what you need for a given circumstance.

[Also not going into this but just for reference tu/tus is “your” as a possessive with no accent mark; similar to how mi/mis is “my”. Possessives are technically adjectives not pronouns or objects, but if you want I can discuss those later]

First let’s discuss pronouns. Pronouns are subjects and can exist by themselves and have verbs that conjugate according to them.

yo = I

tú = you (informal)

él = he

ella = she

usted = you (formal)

ellos / ellas = they 

ustedes = you all [default for Latin America; for Spain ustedes is “you all (formal)”]

nosotros / nosotras = we

vosotros / vosotras = you all [informal; Spain]

Objects themselves aren’t really allowed to exist on their own. They need a subject and a verb in a complete sentence (usually; or at least implied) to exist.

The use of mí and ti are part of what’s known as “prepositional object pronouns”, meaning that they show up in the presence of a preposition.

These prepositions are almost always one of the following*… a, de, en, entre, hacia, por, and para

yo => mí

tú => ti 

él

ella

usted

ellos / ellas

ustedes

nosotros / nosotras

vosotros / vosotras

This means that you’ll see something like a mí “to me”, a ti “to you”, or para mí “in my opinion / as for me”… but you’ll see a ella or por ella or entre ellos or something like that. It’s only the yo and tú that change here

*There’s also con but that’s another special case:

yo => mí + con => conmigo

tú => ti + con => contigo

Saying ven conmigo is “come with me” or cuento contigo “I’m counting on you”. This exists because Latin, where there was repetition: cum mecum or “with me with”… which turned into conmigo, and cum tecum to contigo

The other little exception is usually a sí which stands for “himself” or “herself” or “itself” in special cases.

Chances are you will only see it used as sí mismo/a which is “himself/herself/itself”

Quiere valerse por sí mismo. = He wants to make it on his own.

Quiere valerse por sí misma. = She wants to make it on her own.

This is a rarer grammatical thing but it’s related to se which is more 3rd person. It doesn’t often exist by itself except if you see something like entre sí “amongst themselves” or en sí “in and of itself”

It also exists with consigo “with itself” which comes from cum secum in Latin; this is almost always an impersonal thing or object not a human being, like lo que trae consigo “what it brings with it”

With con you normally see con ella, con ellos, con nosotros and so on.

Now we move to the regular object pronouns which are direct and indirect object pronouns. With the exception of 3rd person, they look identical.

Direct objects are the recipients of an action. If you “kick a ball”, the “ball” is what receives that action. It’s what is acted upon “directly”. For those familiar with case systems, direct objects are “accusative case”.

yo => me

tú => te

él => lo

ella => la

usted => lo / la [depending on gender of the “you”]

ellos => los

ellas => las

ustedes => los / las [depending on gender fo the “you all”]

nosotros / nosotras => nos

vosotros / vosotras => os

It’s only 3rd person that’s more dependent on gender. And the usted/ustedes thing makes more sense in context*

Whether you’re saying lo compro “I buy it” or la compro “I buy it” depends on the gender of the “it” in other words.

Because me, te, nos, os don’t change it’s not totally necessary to point out things like me pegas “you’re hitting me” is a direct object use, while me dices “you’re telling me” is indirect object use. 

There is a difference between indirect and direct, but me, te, nos, os never changes so whether it’s “me” or “to/for me” isn’t totally necessary to break down and understand, if that makes sense.

Indirect objects are “to whom” or “for whom” something is done. An action is done to something for the sake of something/someone else and that “something/someone else” is the indirect object.

For those familiar with case systems, indirect objects are “dative case”.

So if you “buy flowers for her”, the “flowers” are the direct object while “for her” indicates the indirect object. And again, with the exception of 3rd person, they look identical to direct objects.

yo => me

tú => te

él - ella - usted => le

ellos - ellas - ustedes => les

nosotros / nosotras => nos

vosotros / vosotras => os

This in English would be the difference between “I” and “me”, “he” and “him”, “she” and “her”, or “we” and “us”. In older English you’d also have to contend with “thou” and “thee” or “you” and “ye”

Here there’s no gender agreement to worry about, only singularity and plurality. Your first introduction to indirect objects is done with gustar and verbs like that.

Saying me gusta is not truly “I like it”, but rather it’s “it is pleasing TO ME”… and if the thing is plural it’s me gustan “I like them” or “they are pleasing TO ME”

(a mí) me gusta = I (specifically) like it

(a ti) te gusta = you (specifically) like it

(a él/ella/usted) le gusta = he/she/You (specifically) like it

(a ellos/ellas/ustedes) les gusta = they/You all (specifically) like it

(a nosotros) nos gusta = we (specifically) like it

(a vosotros) os gusta = you all (specifically) like it

For the most part indirect and direct objects work very well together with no real conflict. You go ID; indirect + direct, with indirect always first.

Me compran flores. = They buy flowers for me.Me las compran. = They buy them for me.

The direct object takes the place of the noun; so las here is because las flores is both feminine and plural. You could also say me la compro if it were just one flower.

The only time it gets messy is when 3rd person and 3rd person meet.

The use of le/les + lo/la/los/las turns the indirect object to se; this is for the sake of pronunciation so you don’t have to deal with les lo or confuse it with lelo/a “silly”

Le doy el libro. = I’m giving him/her the book.Se lo doy. = I’m giving it to him/her.

Le doy la llave. = I’m giving him/her the key.Se la doy. = I’m giving it to him/her.

Les doy el libro. = I’m giving them the book.Se lo doy. = I’m giving it to them.

Les doy la llave. = I’m giving them the key.Se la doy. = I’m giving them the key.

Because the se could be for le or les you sometimes might want to be more specific to make sure people understand you:

Se lo doy a él. = I’m giving it to him.Se lo doy a ella. = I’m giving it to her.Se lo doy a usted. = I’m giving it to you.Se lo doy a ellos. = I’m giving it to them.Se lo doy a ellas. = I’m giving it to them.Se lo doy a ustedes. = I’m giving it to you (all).

You can be that specific with the other object pronouns but you don’t have to. Using that kind of emphasis is very specific and can be used in different situations such as explaining yourself thoroughly, or for the purposes of saying “and not you”

Me lo dijo a mí, no a ti. = He/she said it to me, not you.

*Note: You go into another linguistic gray area with the use of indirect objects or direct objects when people are the objects. For the most part, direct objects are more common in Latin America, and indirect objects more common in Spain but that’s not ALWAYS the case.

For example, you’re trying to say “it’s a pleasure to meet you” to an usted or ustedes:

Es un placer conocerlo. = It’s a pleasure to meet you (m).Es un placer conocerlos. = It’s a pleasure to meet you all (m+m, m+f).Es un placer conocerla. = It’s a pleasure to meet you (f).Es un placer conocerlas. = It’s a pleasure to meet you (f+f).

Es un placer conocerle. = It’s a pleasure to meet you (m/f).Es un placer conocerles. = It’s a pleasure to meet you all (m+m/f+f/m+f).

They’re both correct though regionally preferred. Latin America will usually opt for the lo/la/los/las while Spain tends to go for the le/les here.

But in Latin America using the le/les is even MORE polite because it’s not how you would normally respond and it sounds a little old-fashioned and formal.

Like I said, both correct but regionally preferred.

Now we go to reflexives which exist under the umbrella term of “pronomials”… which basically means “uses a reflexive pronoun”.

For the purposes of not getting into a huge linguistic debate, there are 3 occasions you use the reflexive pronouns and we’re only talking about 2 for right now because they make the most sense.

The pronouns are:

yo => me

tú => te

él - ella - usted => se

ellos - ellas - ustedes => se

nosotros / nosotras => nos

vosotros / vosotras => os

All of 3rd person is se whether it’s plural or singular is dependent upon context.

There are true reflexives where the subject and object are the same; meaning the subject does something to himself or herself or itself.

Me lavo las manos. = I’m washing my hands. [lit. “I wash myself the hands”]

Te duermes. = You’re falling asleep.

Él se levanta. = He stands up.

Ella se sienta. = She sits down.

Ellos se ponen nerviosos. = They’re getting nervous.

Nos vamos. = We’re going.

Os despertáis. = You’re waking up. / You get up.

Translator Note: Whether it’s me despierto a las seis “I wake up at 6″ or me despierto “I am waking up” used as infinitive or -ing is dependent on context; both are correct for present tense; in other words se levanta could be “he stands up” or “he is standing up”

The other one is a “reciprocal reflexive” which is mostly the same, but it deals with two or more subjects doing something to themselves. This only exists for plural, so it’s 3rd person plural, nosotros, or vosotros

Se conocen. = They know each other.Se conocían. = They knew each other. / They used to know each other.Se conocieron. = They met each other.

It works exactly the same except sometimes the wording can be ambiguous or confusing in some circumstances.

You also do sometimes see reflexives used with direct objects though these are typically with a verb that indicates ownership (usually body parts) or with a special verb like comer(se).

Me cepillo el cabello. = I brush my hair.Me lo cepillo. = I brush it.

Te cepillas los dientes. = You brush your teeth.Te los cepillas. = You brush them.

Ella se pinta la cara. = She paints her face.Se la pinta. = She paints it.

Él se afeita la barbilla. = He shaves his chin.Se la afeita. = He shaves it.

Se lavan las manos. = They’re washing their hands.Se las lavan. = They’re washing them.

Nos comemos el pastel. = We’re eating cake.Nos lo comemos. = We’re eating it.

In a sentence like me lo cepillo “I’m brushing it”, the el cabello is still implied to be part of your own body, thus the me is used, even when shortened as a direct object aka “what is being brushed”. 

This is to differentiate it from using an indirect object; le cepillo el cabello would be “I’m brushing their hair (for them)” meaning that it’s something you’re doing to someone else.

For reflexives, subject and object are the same so it’s something you’d have to do to yourself for it to be reflexive. Something done by you to someone else is indirect.