#fresh bites

[themancorialist]

Oldham Street, Manchester.

[themancorialist]

Oldham Street, Manchester.

[themancorialist]

Hilton Street, Manchester.

[haexville-university-ejournal]

Fresh bites - the dragons (are gone!)

by Caroline

As of 4:12AM, the dragons have left the valley. We've contacted Henry the Librarian Handler to ask for details, but he claims that he is now bound by an oath of client privacy and he cannot share any details of his meeting with said clients, nor can he disclose their identity (although all of us know that the clients are almost definitely the dragons).

It seems like this event will forever remain a mystery, which we at Haexville University Ejournal consider to be bad news, but, well, at least now all of us can go back to our regular lives and skipping class will no longer have such lethal consequences. So I guess that there are a few good sides to such an unsatisfactory ending. If you care to look for them.

If your house, spirit, property, body or ego have been damaged by the dragons, contact your insurance company immediately. You will likely not be reimbursed, but it is always worth it to try.

And the mystery of the dragons… Well, it seems like we'll have to wait at least another 10 years before we will be able to solve that one.

[haexville-university-ejournal]

Fresh bites - the dragons (cont.)

by Caroline

As of 8:22PM, it's been a while since the sun has gone down, but dragons have not left the valley. In fact, their numbers seem to have tripled over the last couple of hours. The red fire dragons that have flown into the valley in the morning have been joined by green acid dragons, blue frost dragons, brown faeces dragons, golden gold dragons, transparent spirit dragons and orange orange dragons. Please do not presume your safety, and remain on campus grounds.

The exact reason for dragons' refusal to leave is still unknown, but we've heard that Henry the Librarian Handler is on the case and attempting to set up negotiations with the savage beasts that have overtaken the valley. If you are capable of doing so, please set up a prayer circle, a supporting charm, a positive vibes beam or a strength-enhancing paper doll in order to aid him in his brave attempt.

Although we are hoping that this matter will be resolved quickly, it is time to prepare ourselves for the worst. If you live outside of campus and you haven't already considered your predicament, this is the time to seek out temporary housing within campus grounds. Please note that all members of the Philophobiosophy Society are invited to stay with us in the Politics & Diplomacy Department Building. You can easily get to it through the Haexgates. If you don't have an H-Gates pass, your only viable option is, unfortunately, the Freight Train - in which case you will need to get out on the "Herbertson" station, take 3 turns left, take the stairs leading up, 3 turns right, and you'll find yourself in front of the main building's reception.

Stay safe, and stay calm. We will keep you updated as the story develops.

[haexville-university-ejournal]

Fresh bites - the dragons (cont.)

by Caroline

At 8:34AM, the dragons began their descent onto the Fluff and Chrząszcz cities in search of cattle to eat. Notably, with how much variety in body shapes there has been in students for the past decades since the Haexville University agreed to let some cryptids enrol, the dragons think that 'cattle' includes cows, sheep, people, snakes, fish, buildings under 30 square feet, market stalls, pear trees, mammalian-shaped cryptids, reptilian-shaped cryptids, platypus-shaped cryptids, shadow-shaped cryptids and threateningly-looking streetlights.

The projected damages are estimated to reach the monetary value of 24 sinning souls. As the calculations were performed by first-years from the Scient & Modern Technologies Department instead of literally anyone more qualified from the Econometry & Marketing Department, we ask that you do not put too much trust in them, as the margin of error estimated by our collective common sense reaches triple digits.

Remain on campus grounds, and stay calm. The dragons should be gone by sundown.

[haexville-university-ejournal]

Fresh bites - HUE reporting live

by Minerva

TO EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT THAT THE DRAGON ATTACKS EXCUSE YOU FROM ATTENDING YOUR CLASSES: you're all hopeless fools. Or you just don't give a fuck about your education! At this point I am honestly unsure which of the two it is.

…

Who am I kidding, it's probably BOTH.

Anyways, here I am, writing to you from my introductory lecture on mycochemistry, in order to inform you of the following events:

The dragons started their REGULAR, once-per-decade fly over the Haexville Valley on 7:13AM this morning.

The dragons have long ago SIGNED A TREATY with the spirit of the Haexville University, VOWING TO LEAVE ITS STUDENTS AND FACULTY ALONE.

Notably, if you're not attending class, the dragons WILL NOT KNOW THAT YOU'RE A STUDENT. Even if you're only a local resident and don't currently attend the university, you are advised to MAKE YOUR WAY ONTO THE CLOSEST CAMPUS. It's for your own safety.

We will keep posting as the situation develops.