I’ve never really thought much about my fears. I have the obvious ones, of course. Being poisoned. Raped. Etc.
I guess my worst fear would be doing something stupid and destroying my future. Or, I guess, just not having a future. Dying alone. Having a useless degree and being unable to find a job. I fear having a failed future.
37. Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
Prepare for the first boyfriend story, boys and girls.
He was working stage crew for a show I was acting in. I got bored at a rehearsal and went to help paint the set. (Forever a techie at heart.) He asked me for my number, I gave it to him. We text. Pretty flirty, for two freshmen. Fast forward about a week or so. It’s show time! My very first high school show! I was nervous, and probably still dealing with depression or whatever was wrong with me then. My friends convince him to “ask me out” right then and there.
So he takes me into the stage left entrance. (Which people consistently have to walk through. Literally minimal privacy.) He spends like 15 minutes trying to spit the words out. (Shameful, but kinda cute.) He eventually asks me on a date. I say yes, because I was really flattered. A boy wanted to ask me out!
Later, we end up on the stairs to the pit underneath the stage. (If you don’t know the layout of a theatre, I swear it isn’t a black hole.) We talk. I get a boyfriend. Then I go do my first show! Hurray!
He was my first kiss. Down in the pit. He was nervous. I was chuckling. It was kinda sloppy, now that I’ve kissed more people. Not sure if that’s his fault or mine.
Fast forward about a week or two. First date time. We had plans for the movies, but I end up going to a family party with him. His family. Kinda awkward. Kinda awful. Kinda don’t want to even count it as a date. Probably won’t once I have a proper first date.
Fast forward another week. Crew for the fall play. He was hardly at stage crew for the fall play. He just showed up one day. Maybe to surprise me. Anyway, we were on the second story of the set. He touched my ass and stole my shoes. Random flirty things. I kept running from him though. I was nervous and scared. And I just wanted my fucking shoe back goddamn. We made out in the stage right entrance. (Pretty sure it was closed mouthed, but still. Long time.)
I thought I loved him.
Next day. I, no joke, get a text from him that says something like: “We need to talk.”
Me: “Okay. About what?” Him: “I don’t think you’re that into me. You don’t like me.” Me: “But… I do. I like you a lot.” Him: “It isn’t working out.” Me: “Oh. Okay. We can still be friends right?” Him: “Of course.”
He broke up with me over text the day after making out with me! Naturally, we didn’t stay friends.
Looking back, he was kind of a “nice guy.” And he was right. I wasn’t that into him. I’m glad it was broken off. It shouldn’t have lasted more than a month or so. (It was only about a month.) Still, a cute first getting asked out story. (At my favorite place in the world. Calming me down before my first play. He was nervous and cute.) And a decent first kiss story. (My favorite place in the world. All alone, after stage crew. Although people knew damn well what we were doing.)
That got very long, wow. Sometimes I want to punch myself from this time last year, but if I hadn’t gone out with him then I probably would be worse off right now.
My self from a year ago would probably high five the current me.
right now? Definitely hot because it's August and it's like 0 degrees where I am at the moment.
Heliconia:Do you like when it rains?
When it's heavily raining and I'm not outside sure, but pathetic raining like drizzle or something annoys me a lot which is like 70% of the year living in a place like London
Sixteen - Do you prefer light or dark hair on the opposite sex?
i don't know tbh :D usually i say dark hair because i find black hair very attractive, but i also like blond hair, so i don't really have a preference in hair color on guys. both can be really attractive :)
Thirty five - Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
something in between. it's definitely not straight, but not curly either. i would say it's wavy :)
