Okay, do ya’ll remember that Friends episode where Rachel and Phoebe were messing with Chandler and Monica cause they were sneaking around and having the sexy time? (S5E14 for reference) So I was just imagining....
- Shiro and Keith having sex in what they think is a remote part of the Castle only to get caught by Lance, but before he could make his presence known, Pidge covers his mouth and drags him away to another room
- “SHIRO AND KEITH!” “Oh my God...” “SHIRO AND KEITH!” “Lance, it’s fine!” “BUT THEY’RE DOING IT.” “I know, I know!” “YOU KNOW?!” “Yes, and Hunk knows, just stop screaming!”
- Hunk is relieved that more people know and thinks everything can be out in the open now, so the lies and secrets can finally be over, but Lance suggests they keep it to themselves and have a little fun of their own, and Pidge is on board with his antics...
- Lance starts to flirt with Shiro, who clearly becomes flustered because he isn’t sure what to do with that. He later tells Keith, and HOO BOY DOES HE GET MAD but obviously he can’t say anything cause they’re keeping their relationship a secret
- Later, when they’re all in a room together, Lance winks at Shiro and says, “See ya, Shiro, I miss you already” in front of Keith and leaves, and Keith finally figures out what’s going on
- “Oh my God, Shiro, he knows about us.” “What? Are you serious?” “Yes, he knows, and he’s just trying to freak us out.” They confront Hunk who had found out on his own and promised not to say anything. “Well, I didn’t tell them!” he says. Keith and Shiro look at each other. “Them?! Who’s them?” “Oh quiznack....” They decide to turn the tables around on Lance and Pidge.
- Shiro calls Lance (let’s say they have private communicators, I dunno) with Keith in the room. “Hi Lance, I’ve been thinking about you all day.” “...huh?” “Well, I mean, I’ve noticed you’ve been flirting with me, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued.” “...really?!” Keith and Shiro snicker at how freaked out he sounds. “Yeah, of course. Why don’t you head over to my room tonight and I’ll let you feel my biceps... and maybe more.” “...I’ll get back to you on that. Bye.” Keith and Shiro high five it out; mission accomplished.
- Pidge and Lance figure out that Keith and Shiro are messing with them back, and Lance decides to take Shiro up on his offer, and this whole thing just snowballs into “who is going to break first.”
- Keith’s hiding in the closet, confident Lance is going to be the first to crack. Pidge and Hunk are just outside of Shiro’s room, listening to everything. Shiro and Lance awkwardly begin flirting with each other, neither of them really knowing what to do at this point and are internally panicking.
- Just as they’re about to kiss, Shiro breaks and backs away.
Shiro: Okay, okay okay! You win!
Shiro: I can’t have sex with you!
Shiro: Because I’m in love with Keith!
Shiro: That’s right! I love him. I. Love. Him.
- Keith emerges from the closet, never having heard those words before. There were feelings between them, sure, but love? Lance is floored. Hunk and Pidge burst into the room, equally shocked.
- Shiro turns to Keith, wraps him around his waist, smiles down at him. “I love you, Keith.” Keith grins, “I love you too, Shiro,” and they share a tender kiss.
Lance: Aww, I thought you two were just doing it; I didn’t know you were in love!!
But yeah, I thought about this a lot and found it hilarious. I think I might just write a full crossover fic later. Bahaha.