#from gracie

[dynamic-disordered-duo]

What should you do when your partner's hyperfixation is irritating you?

First, don't go into full goblin shut down mode like I did this week... I was really feeling the burn out and Jaime wanted to talk about his special interest and it was bothering me.

What I'd recommend doing is spending a little time apart to relax. Go for a walk, take a shower or a nap, practice a hobby that allows you to be calm and think. Then try to decipher why this interest is so irritating. Chances are it's less about the interest and more about how you and your partner are communicating.

[dynamic-disordered-duo]

I'm autistic and my speech pattern is a bit slower. I have to think about what I say before I say it and I pause during conversations to think about what I'm going to say next. My partner has ADHD and can somehow think while speaking at incredible speeds.

This became an issue while we were dating because he would interrupt me and jump in while I was pausing to think. We had to talk about our communication preferences and develop habits to make sure we both felt heard. He now checks to make sure I'm finished with my thoughts before continuing the conversation. I pay attention when he has something to say so I can prompt him to share when I'm finished talking. It's not perfect and we still make mistakes, especially when we're tired or talking about something exciting. The important thing is we're always trying to listen to each other and make sure we can both comfortably express all our thoughts.

[dynamic-disordered-duo]

Date ideas that have worked for me (a hot autistic lady)

Aquarium day - date got to listen to all my sea otter facts and bring snacks

Watching weekly shows together - also best with snacks

Doing an entire jigsaw puzzle - I can be social for much longer if a puzzle is involved

Farmer's market - I went on a mission to find the best flowers for drying and snacks

Escape room - this is a good group date activity

The best dates for me have involved an activity I could focus on that didn't require direct constant engagement with my date and gave me easy topics to talk about

[dynamic-disordered-duo]

Totally Normal Stuff I Did While We Were Dating - Early Days Edition

Refused to give him my phone number

Reorganized his kitchen (that he shared with roommates)

Couldn't use the bathroom while he was in my apartment

Got really mad when he moved my stuff

Talked for hours about our views on mortality

Surprisingly he still married me...

[dynamic-disordered-duo]

My husband is so good at making friends, people generally just feel comfortable talking to him. This is especially useful to me when I have to make a customer service call. I try my best to avoid phone calls but sometimes you have to call a company's help line. I will give up on an important task before spending an hour with a stranger on the phone talking about insurance or whatever. But my guy will call for me and be so nice we get great service and I really don't know what I'd do without him.

[auradonsanta]

Merry Christmas, Agrabah.

I don’t really do the whole gift thing very often, but I figured you might want a gift other than just me under your tree :-p Since I always get the team MVP nod at the end of the year, I got you a trophy -- it reminds me of the first one I ever got as a little kid, when Grandpa Zeus decided I was cooler than my dad already by the age of like 7. Not just everyone deserves to have the power of Zeus hanging around their house.

-Gracie

@gavinofagrabah

[potofpokes]

TO: Gel or Gen or whatever your name is

FROM: Gracie