There are 1,013,913 words in the English language, but I could never string together any of them to describe how i feel right now.
I remembered crying that night. The first time you told me your secret. Oh dear, I saw the stars that The Lord put in your eyes that night.
Since then you called me with the most horrifying nickname ever, yet I could never wish for another, for you have given it to me as your own. And then we started to have conversations in Mandarin that we hardly even understand. In time I began to understand your odd languages, which I found very amusing. Where I suggest you should write your own dictionary. The funny thing is with language is that you often asked for my help with your English assignment, which I gladly to do by the way. Ah the good old days
You always give your time for me, no matter in what kind of situation you are, you send me pictures of your whereabouts and wishing that I was there with you. You always have your hands full when it comes to church services, and yet you always smile every time you put your hands into it. That's what I admire from you, your love to God and how you willing to do it all for Him.
You cared so much about my health. For example that moment when you remind me not to overstress about my school works, and those late night chats during my English drama script, while you endlessly ask for my pap selfies. You were there every step of the way, you took my broken bones and bring them back to life when I need it. I find myself gullible and naive every time I was with you, and perhaps you did make fun of me because you seem to acknowledge the world a lot more than I do.
Perhaps, I will never know why you did what you did. But in time I realized that you were holding back, and that tension you had. You keep on telling how you miss me. That time when you pick me up in the rain, God knows I could never forget that rainy night. You told me you couldn't lie to yourself, and out of the blue those words just came out. You said i was a gift from God and told me that falling for me was a mistake, and now I can see why.
No one knows me like you do. You saw that I was perfect, and so you loved me. Then you saw that I was imperfect, and you loved me even more. When I was crying under my pillow and prayed to God, He sent you to answer those prayers. You inspired me to be a blessing to others and put love in their life when they need it, because that's what you did to me. Every time I see you I remembered how amazing His Grace is in my life, because you were in it. And I stand here right now to tell that you are and always will be, the greatest gift that God put in my life. And I prayed to God, so that He could give me a chance to payback his love. Until this day I couldn't understand why God consent you in a person's life such profane as I am. But I understand why God took you away from me, because I was never good enough for you.
And perhaps I am the only one who is aware of this 'death' because you are now buried underneath my past. And how I could never succeed telling your story without shedding a tear.
