anyway, remember when max and silver were subjected to the terrors of life at a very tender age and went on to become the weirdest most traumatized siblings of the bahamas. remember when max would stand amongst the heat and the bugs and the filth on her toes to see inside and remember when the only meaning divined from silvers past was that the world is a place of unending horrors. im trying to say that when max was a kid she learned that peace was born from awful things and that meant home. and she decided then that shed do anything to be inside that home, even the awful things. and when silver was a kid there was no peace anywhere. not outside the room and not inside. there was only the horrors so there was never a reason for him to want to be inside. do you see. max drowning the damned cat and silver saying "theres always a way out" is their ethos. she hungers to be inside because she knows she deserves something good, something better. it was like, there's horribleness here and it is in my way, but i will climb on top of it. i will look back at it one day through the windows. silver needs to be outside because everything hes got was conned out of the world. he has no idea he can even have good things or how to want them. to him it was like, this horribleness looks something like me. i can wear it, this heat and the filth and the bugs, and hide in it. if there was ever a room, he was always running away from it
